Star Wars 7: The Force Awakens

Well, after the long wait and all the hype from the trailers, Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens is upon us. And man, was I pretty excited for this movie and couldn't wait to see it. So, was all the hype pointless and was it garbage like the prequels? Or did J.J. Abrams bring back the Star Wars we all know and love? Grab your lightsaber and let's find out!

WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!!
Go see the movie first! If you want to ruin the experience and keep reading, don't get mad at me.

Now, with that out of the way:

The Plot:
30 years after the defeat of the Empire, a new threat has arisen from the ashes of the enemy. The First Order. They are searching for Luke Skywalker and believe he is a threat to them. A resistance pilot has a map that leads to Luke and tries to escape, but is captured by The First Order and the dark jedi, Kylo Ren. The pilot's droid, however, has the map and escapes to safety. BB-8, the droid, runs into Rey, a salavger. She and BB-8 run into Finn, an ex stormtrooper and they fly off in the Millennium Falcon. There, they run into Han Solo and Chewbacca. Rey gets captured by Kylo Ren, who is an ex pupil of Luke Skywalker. Finn wants to save Rey and with the help of the resistance, they launch an attack on The First Order's base, Starkiller. During the attack, it is revealed that Ren is Leia and Han's son turned evil. Kylo Ren kills Han and fights Finn. Finn loses, and Rey, who is force sensitive, defeats Kylo Ren, but as the base is falling apart, she escapes with Chewbacca. Once they return, BB-8 and R2-D2 show the map where Luke is hiding. Rey flies to the planet and returns the lightsaber she found.

The Good:
J.J Abrams pulled this off. It's a mix of new and old and it works. The cast is perfect and each actor is believable. There's a lot of witty banter between characters and it makes you laugh. Yes, Chewbacca and Han Solo get a lot of screen time, but they don't steal the show from the new cast. Kylo Ren is a badass Sith with an attitude. Rey is strong and independent, but she's also relatable. Finn, is funny and heroic. It's just so good. This is how Star Wars was meant to be. There's a lot of nostalgia, but it doesn't dwell on the past too much.

The Bad:
There are some parts that come off a bit too cheesy. I also wish Luke would have said -something- and had not made the last scene awkward. And what's with these bad guys and building giant laser bases that shoot lasers? And what's with them having a weak spot? Did the First Order not learn anything from the Empire? I get that it's a call back to the original films, but it would have been nice to see something different. I'm okay with giant laser planets of doom, but make it a bit harder than "exposed weak spot".

Overall:
I'm just glad George Lucas had nothing to do with this movie. J.J Abrams pulled it off and we got something worthy of the original trilogy. It's not perfect, but it's still a wonderful movie and any Star Wars fan should see it. I hope Episode 8 is just as good.

Rating:
5 BB-8s out of 5. 

The Dark Knight Returns

Batman. The man, the legend, and I may or may not be him....Anyways, The Dark Knight Returns is an animated movie based off the comic book saga written by Frank Miller. Let's suit up and take back Gotham!

The Plot:
Set in an alternate universe, Bruce Wayne and other costumed heroes are put into "retirement" by the government. 10 years after Bruce hung up the mantle, crime in Gotham city is growing out of control and no one is doing anything to stop it. Tired of Gotham living in fear, an aging Bruce Wayne puts on his cowl and fights back. This return causes a stir in Gotham and not all are happy to see Batman return. The main threat: The Mutant Gang. At first, the leader of the gang has an advantage due to his youth, but Batman comes back and humiliates the leader, and breaks up the gang. However, this act manages to bring back horrors from the past, mainly the Joker. The Joker escapes from Arkham and begins to cause mayhem, and Batman has had enough. After defeating-ahem- somewhat killing the Joker (the Joker finished himself off) Batman has caused a stir that gets the government involved. Superman, now the president's lap dog, tries to calm Bruce down and negotiate peacefully. Bruce, has other plans, and continues to fight crime. Naturally, this leads into a face off and the playing field is set. Superman, weakened from a nuclear blast; and Batman, aging and beat up, but using a robotic suit. The two fight, and Batman comes out victorious, only to die from a heart attack. Was it a ruse or, did Bruce Wayne's legacy die?

The Good:
The animation is stunning and well drawn. I love this story too, it's one of my favorite comic books. The voice talent does their roles well and there's a lot of good lines said in this movie. This movie also manages to add scenes that the comic wasn't able to do. For example, the fight between Superman and Batman is lengthened and does the comic justice. There is a lot cut out from the comic, but the movie does manage to explain what's going on.

The Bad:
I can't think of much, honestly. There's a few parts where Peter Weller (AKA Robo-cop) doesn't sound as convincing as he should, but he does a stellar job. Other than that, this movie's pretty much close to perfection.

Overall:
The Dark Knight Returns is a great comic and a great movie. If you have the time, check it out. It's a classic and maybe the film will be too.

Rating:
4.5 kyrptonite arrows out of 5.  

The Shining

It's December! And you know what that means, right? Sitting back and enjoying a good holiday movie. Like The Shining for example. Classic holiday movie, right? This horror masterpiece was directed by Stanley Kubrick and stars Jack Nicholson, Shelly Duvall and Danny Lloyd. So come play with us forever and ever and enter the garden maze, this is The Shining!

"Heeeeerrrrreee's an awesome movie!"-Jack Torrence.

The Plot:
The Shining is about a writer who slowly becomes insane and tries to....No, that's not right. The Shining is about a family in a hotel that is haunted by ghosts and they have to...That's not right either. The Shining is about a family of writers who go insane at a hotel with ghosts. Nailed it. Anyways, this movie is about a writer and his family who stay at the Overlook Hotel and find out there's more to it than they thought. Jack Torrence, his wife and their son have to spend 5 months looking after the hotel and keep it up until the hotel is open for the season. However, as mentioned, there's more there than they bargained for. Jack, slowly succumbs to the evil at the hotel and begins to become more and more insane. Meanwhile, Wendy and Danny attempt to lead a normal life, but become threatened as Jack loses his sanity. (Accidental Joker origin story, perhaps?) Things start out normal, but the evil lurking inside the hotel eventually have Jack turn on his family and attempts to kill them. However, Wendy proves to be more resourceful than her husband and ends up besting him (by running away, of course). Jack tries to have one last attempt, but is outwitted by his son while chasing him through a maze in the freezing cold. Jack finally becomes part of the hotel, or was he always part of the hotel to begin with? Anyways, Wendy and Danny make their escape and we're left to assume how it ended for them.

The Good:
I'm not much of a horror movie person, mainly due to the fact that most "scary" movies are boring. That being said, I love The Shining. Kubrick was a master at making films and paced the movie in all the right ways. It starts off slow and normal and then the tension grows and grows until you're left with an epic finale. Jack Nicholson is brilliant and performs the role perfectly. Shelly Duvall's best acting is in the 3rd act and she's pretty good. The subtle tones of the movie are amazing too. You've got white man vs. Indians, as seen by Jack's "destruction" of the art. He tosses a ball at an Indian painting. Wendy's attire becomes more and more Native American as the movie progresses. Then there's the supernatural elements. Danny and his psychic powers. The ghost twins, room 237, and the ghosts Jack communicates with are all superb and interesting. Honestly, if any aspiring director wants to make a horror movie, they should watch this first.

The Bad:
Shelly Duvall's acting in the first two acts are meh at best. I get she's supposed to be happy go lucky and all, but most of the time, she comes off timid. Now, this could be because Kubrick was verbally abusing her and threatening her, but I don't know. Then there's some stuff that could have been left out. For example, there's one scene involving the head chef traveling to the hotel (because he's physic too and wants to save Wendy and Danny) and we see him driving through the snow. For a good five minutes at least. I get that it's snowing hard, but I've been beat over the head throughout how bad the snow storm is. It's repetitive and I dislike it when movies constantly beat me over the head with something I already know.

Overall:
The Shining is awesome. I love almost every second of it and I never get tired of watching it. It's also a good holiday movie to watch (a friend of mine's family does this and inspired me to do it as well). If you haven't seen this movie, dooo it. It's amazing.

Bonus Round:
1) They had to use a thicker door for Jack to cut through. He was a volunteer fire marshal at the time and chopped through the door to fast. They also had him cut through about 50 doors to get the scene right.

2) The scene where Wendy finds Jack's "book" was type written in at least four different languages for international release.

3) There was a happy ending originally in earlier drafts but it was removed. It had Wendy and Danny in a hospital being offered to live with the hotel's manager in California. Weird.

4) Shelly Duvall had to do the baseball bat scene 127 times before Kubrick deemed it perfect. She was so stressed she actually lost some hair.

Rating: 5 REDRUMs out of 5.

Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi

Well folks, we've reached episode six and we're so close to The Force Awakens! ROTJ is considered the silliest of the trilogy and some parts hold true to that. So, let's go to Jabba's and finish this series off!

The Plot:
Previously, Han Solo was frozen and sent to Jabba the Hutt's palace. Luke, Leia and the gang decide to go to Tatooine and save Han. Now, we see Luke's plan go into action. After some action and sweet justice, everyone splits. Han goes to the rebellion, while Luke goes back to visit Yoda. Yoda tells Luke that he must defeat Vader and the Emperor in order to become a true Jedi. Luke has his doubts and is unsure he'll be able to defeat them. Yoda, with his dying breath, tells Luke there is another Skywalker and has the force within them as well. Luke realizes it's Leia and vows to defeat Vader. Meanwhile, the rebellion is planning an attack on the Empire's newest battle station, the....Death Star. The Death Star 2.0? The Death Star Jr.? Anyways, they have learned that the Emperor himself is there, foreseeing the last stages of construction. The plan is to destroy a force field surrounding the battle station and blow it up with an attack. Han Solo volunteered to lead the attack on the shield, so Luke and Leia come along. Things go about as well as you'd think. Han manages to alert the guards, so Luke and Leia chase after them on a speeder bike. Luke and Leia then get separated, and the gang searches for Leia. On their way, they manage to meet the locals, teddy bear like creatures who want them for dinner. However, 3PO is revered as a god and with the help of Luke, frees everyone and they become part of the tribe. Luke is troubled, afraid he is endangering the mission and decides to face his father. Before he leaves, he tells Leia the truth. She understands, and they part. The next day, the attack is in progress. At first, all seems to be going well, but the tables are turned and the rebels are out gunned. Luke meets the Emperor and the sith lord attempts to lure Luke to the dark side. The Emperor also mentions that he was the one who gave the plans, tricking the rebellion into attacking a fully operational battle station. He finally pushes Luke into anger and ends up dueling Vader. Back on Endor, the rebels eventually gain the upper hand and blow up the shield generator. The rebel fleet attacks the Death Star, and Luke defeats Vader. Before he gives into his anger, he tells the Emperor he has lost and the Emperor nearly kills Luke. Vader realizes he never truly was 100% evil and kills the Emperor. Darth, dying, finally sees his son with his real eyes and dies. With that, the rebels finish off the Empire for good. Or do they? Anyways, happy ending.

The Good:
Like the previous movies, this one is fun to watch. You still love the characters, you get invested with the story (for the most part) and you witness Luke's journey to become a Jedi. You're always having fun and there's never a dull moment. And you get one of the most memorable lines in movie history (besides, "I am your father."):

Classic.

The Bad:
So, at the beginning, I mentioned that some say this movie is the sillier of the three. I'd have to agree there. If The Empire Strikes Back was the Dark Knight, this movie would be the Dark Knight Rises. Great movies, but the seriousness is lacking. For example, Han Solo, usually cool and smooth, comes off as a goof ball. I know, his character is supposed to be funny, but in this movie, the Benny Hill song should play when he's on screen. He also is super jealous of Leia and freaks out when Luke looks at her funny pretty much. When Luke tells her who she really is (and is some how totally okay with the fact she made out with her brother) she's distraught. Han tries to comfort her, but she needs some alone time and Han flips out. Dude, you had her before you were frozen in carbonite. She kisses you pretty much every time she sees you. Leia loves Han, no need to be jealous. Luke gets a tad bit annoying during the speeder bike scene. He becomes the back seat driver, and if I were Leia, I would have pushed him off.  The ewoks are kinda adorable and bad ass, but the movie focuses on them more than our heroes at times. It's a bit distracting, I like them, but the battle of Hoth didn't focus too much on the other rebels. Just saying. Now for the end. I like happy endings, but this one's too perfect. Everyone's celebrating the down fall of the Empire and I mean everyone. How did Cloud City find out? How did Coruscant find out? I don't think news travels that fast, right? Maybe a few days later at most, but the immediate down fall? I don't think so. Oh. And this abomination:

*AKA George Lucas' middle finger*

What on earth was George Lucas smoking when he decided to use the guy who -ruined- Darth Vader and put into a this movie? This is the equivalent of a giant middle finger to hardcore fans.


Overall:
ROTJ is a classic. It's a decent end to a great trilogy. It's fun, it's got great scenes and lines. Yeah, it's a bit too perfect of an ending for my taste, but I love this movie.

Rating:
4.5 speeder bikes out of 5.

Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol

Spy thrillers have been all the rage ever since James Bond made his first appearance on the silver screen. And what's not to like about them? Suave gentlemen spies, driving fast exotic cars and lovely women. Mission Impossible has been wowing audiences since it showed up on TV way back in 1966. So far, there have been five Mission Impossible movies, so let's see how well the fourth installment holds up.

 The Plot:
An IMF agent is killed while trying to extract nuclear launch codes in order to stop a man codenamed "Cobalt" from starting nuclear war. Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) is called in to do the job and stop Cobalt. He and his team (Simon Pegg and Paula Patton) are ordered by IMF to go to Russia and infiltrate the Kremlin. Their mission, to find the true identity of Cobalt and let the authorities arrest him. The mission goes well, however, someone piggy backs Ethan's team's radio frequency and alerts Russian authorities. As Ethan and his team manage to escape, the Kremlin is bombed and Ethan ends up unconscious. Ethan ends up in an hospital and escapes calling for an extraction. He is picked up by the IMF Secretary and his analyst, William Brandt (Jeremy Renner). The Secretary tells Ethan that the President of the US has shut down IMF and disavowed the agents. On the way, the Secretary mentions if Ethan were to escape, there could nothing he could do. As he explains this, he gets killed. Ethan and Brandt escape to an unmarked train car with IMF gadgets in order to stop Cobalt. It's when Cobalt's identity is revealed to be Kurt Hendriks a nuclear strategist. Ethan and his team discover that Hendriks is going to Dubai to buy the codes from the assassin who killed the first IMF agent. The team reaches Dubai and hatches a plan in order to stop Hendriks, get him and the assassin. However, the gadgets that they're using aren't high quality and must improvise the plan. During the meet, Hendriks escapes with the codes and Ethan tries to track him down in a sandstorm, only to loose him at the last second. But, Ethan has a plan and he and his team head to Mumbai, India. After some spy stuff and whatnot, Ethan corners Hendriks and the two fight. Oh, and Hendriks did launch a nuke towards the US and Ethan has to stop the nuke from hitting US soil. Ethan does eventually stop the nuke and it's mission accomplished.

The Good:
As Mission Impossible movies go, this is a pretty fun flick to watch. The stunts are jaw dropping and the action's pretty decent. It's pretty funny to see Hawkeye be in an Mission Impossible movie but, Jeremy Renner does a good job. Some of the special effects are decent, and there are some good lines.

The Bad:
Maybe it's just me, but not once did I feel tension during any of the action scenes. For example, when Ethan Hunt is climbing the world's tallest building, I never felt like there was a moment where he -might- fail. Take the scene from the first movie where Hunt is hacking into the computer room with all the security safe guards. I felt tension in that scene, and you're thinking that Hunt could fail at any moment. Ghost Protocol never keeps you on edge, even when there's a nuke hurtling towards earth. As for the nuke part, well...I assumed that the US would have, I don't know...early warning systems just in case nuclear threats were coming in? It's not like this missile flew below radar. It freaking went into the stratosphere where something could pick it up, right? Now, for Hendriks. I get that he's this genius and is evil, but I have a hard time believing that he could best a trained IMF agent in hand to hand combat. I'm sorry, but that's pushing the immersion for me (yeah, so is the nuke). I mentioned there were some decent special effects, but there were some bad ones too. When Ethan is running away from explosions, you can tell that Tom Cruise is against a green screen and you don't feel the danger. There's another scene when Ethan is chasing Hendriks out of the hotel, and the camera angle goes to a bird eye view. Ethan is sprinting towards Hendriks and Hendriks takes off like the flash. How is a sixty plus year old man outrunning Hunt? Good movie, but there's alot of moments where it's not believable.

Overall:
Ghost Protocol is a fun movie, and despite all the negative things I just said, I like it. Yeah, there are a lot of moments where you're trying not to laugh, but it has it's good moments too.

Rating:
3.5 Tom Cruises sprinting out of 5.   

Back to the Future Part 3

So, when October 15, 2015 came along, the world watched Back to the Future Part 2 to compare what came true and what didn't. I went ahead one day to see if we got hoverboards, but alas, we neanderthals still rely on wheels. Now, what most people might not know is that BTTF2 and part 3 were filmed together, just that part three came out after (obviously). Today, I'll be reviewing Back to the Future Part 3.

Yeah, they may have gone too far with this one.

The Plot:
So, Marty McFly heads back to 1955 to stop Biff from becoming an evil Donald Trump and ends setting things right in 1985. However, the time machine is struck by lighting and Doc Brown is sent back in 1885. Marty, now stuck in 1955 has to get help from none other than Doc himself. Originally planning to head to 1985, Marty discovers that 1885 Doc gets killed and decides to save him from his demise. The man who kills Doc is none other than Biff- I mean, Mad Dog Tannen (Biff's past relative). Marty heads to 1885 with the time machine and instantly runs into trouble, however, Doc saves him. Doc is angry at Marty, but once Marty explains his purpose, the two decide the best course of action is for both of them to head back to 1985. The problem is, the time machine is broken and unable to drive. Doc devises a plan that can send them back, but runs into Clara, a school teacher who nearly fell to her death. Doc and Clara fall in love at first sight, causing Doc to become torn between staying or going. Marty convinces Doc to leave, telling him what unknown changes to the future might bring and ruin history. As for Mad Dog, he still plans to kill Doc or Marty, who angered Mad Dog as well, meaning they have a deadline to meet. After resolving that conflict with manure, Doc and Marty hatch their plan to go back to the future. Using a train to push the time machine up to 88 (sure, why not?) Clara ruins everything, only sending Marty back to 1985. Doc eventually shows up in a time machine train (again, why not?) and the series ends.

The Good:
Micheal J. Fox manages to do a decent job at being Marty again. He even uses Clint Eastwood as his "cowboy" name and says some lines Clint has said before. There are some amusing scenes, such as the one above. The hover board makes an appearance again, so that's cool.

The Bad:
Unfortunately, this movie falls to pieces once Marty heads back in time. Doc is goofier than he's usually portrayed and Chris Lloyd overacts pretty much in every scene. We also see everyone's past relatives and it's creepy Marty is totally into his mom (past version). There's a bunch of scenes that remind us, yet again about the first movie and how great it was. Thankfully, Marty doesn't invent skateboarding again, because that'd be too stupid. The Tannen family at this point are just laughable villains and you can no longer take them seriously anymore. Now for Clara. I get that Doc has to have his "one" but for a school teacher, Clara's pretty dumb common sense wise. Not abandoning her wagon when her horses were spooked, messing up a perfectly good plan by tooting the train horn, the list goes on. As for other problems, when did Doc Brown learn how to drive a train? I'm pretty sure it's not like driving a car and would take some learning, but he seems to be pretty good at it. I could go on with the list of problems with this movie, but that'd end up being another post.

Overall:
Yeah, Part 2 was cheesy, but it was fun. Part 3, though? It tried to pull out all the stops, but failed miserably. There's too much silliness at times, a majority of the actors are trying too hard so it comes off as bad. The flying train time machine took the cake though. Is this movie fun? Up until the part when you head back to the Wild West, sure. After that it's, pardon the pun, a train wreck.

Rating:
1.5 Clayton Ravines out of 5.

Nerd Rant! The Stormtroopers of Star Wars!

Hey all! It's November and that's one month til the New Star Wars movie! And holy crap, it looks awesome. So, in the spirit of Star Wars, I'm going to try out something new. This is a nerd rant, where I pick a topic of film, comic, TV show, or whatever you want. Depending on how popular this gets, of course. So, lets kick off the first topic: the Stormtroopers in the Star Wars films. A big debate is why superior soldiers can't hit the broadside of a barn sometimes. Something wrong in the clone genetic code? Or did they know Luke and the gang were the heroes the whole time and wanted them to win? Let's find out.

AKA Cannon fodder.

A Brief History 

 A long time ago, the Galactic Republic was at war with the Trade Federation. However, the Trade Federation had an advantage. They had factories that could build millions of robot soldiers and could send out to do whatever they pleased. The answer to this was clone the perfect solider, Solid Sn- I mean, Jango Fett. When these clones were deemed operational, the Republic used them to fight in the Clone Wars and take down the Trade Federation. After the Clone Wars, Senator Palpatine decided to use these clones for a more sinister purpose. He would use them as foot soldiers, pilots, commanding officers, you name it. They became the face of the Empire when Palpatine rose to power. 

The many faces of the Empire.

So, the question is, why are these so called super soldiers such lousy shots? Could there be a defect in the cloning process? Or did they know deep down that the Empire was doomed? No, they were just recruits. 

Clones? We don't need clones

Now, naturally, when the Empire rose to power, not everyone was on board. Naturally, there was the Rebellion who took a stand against the Emperor and his faceless army. When you watch the Star Wars films, you only see a small fraction of what's going on during this civil war. Luke, Han and Leia do have huge roles, but there are other rebel bases and space fights going on too. Heck, I'm sure there were other systems and planets fighting against the Empire that weren't involved with the Rebellion. See that picture above? At best we see five types of troopers at once. There are some that we don't see at all. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself here. My point is, during all this fighting, clones (no matter how good they are) are dying off by rapid numbers. So, how do you keep your numbers up and impose a threat? Easy, you recruit. Whether it's by force or voluntary, you gotta keep fear up in the galaxy. Now, I hear you all saying, "But they could make more clones!" True, but during a massive galactic war, I'm willing to bet making clones takes time. And the Empire wants to make time for one thing; The Death Star. If you focus on one thing, other things tend to become less productive.  Even the trailers for the new Star Wars movie shows a black guy as a Stormtrooper, and the clones were predominantly white. 

Search Your Feelings

So, if the troopers weren't clones, but recruits it would explain a lot. Even during a mass recruitment, not everybody's going to be a expert sharpshooter on day one. That takes time and training. And yet again, I'm willing to bet that the Empire only cares about one thing: Fear. The more you fear something, the less you're going to try and take it face on. But wait! There's more proof. In a deleted scene for a New Hope, Luke runs into his friend, Biggs. Biggs is originally being recruited to be an Imperial fighter pilot, but he's planning to defect to the Rebellion. Bigg's isn't a clone either. If you want even more proof, and which a huge point most people forget while doing this debate, is Luke. Yes, when Luke and Han go to rescue Princess Leia, Luke makes a comment. "I can't see a thing out of this helmet", Luke comments before saving the Princess. So, if you can't see well, chances you can't shoot well either. Now, sure, if you're a super solider and are used to those conditions, yes, you can be accurate. But, if you're a recruit and you aren't conditioned well enough, and wearing a helmet that supposedly effects your vision, chances are, you're going to miss. A lot. 

Conclusion

So, while there were probably clones still fighting against the Rebellion, the ones our heroes encountered were slim at best. And that's why I think that most of the Stormtroopers were just every day guys participating or forced into something they weren't trained well for. I could be wrong, but maybe the new movie will explain more of it. 

Want more of this? Or was this pointless and should I never do this again? Let me know!

Dark City

A man wakes up from a dream and discovers reality. Only reality is dreary and dark, gloomy and depressing. However, this man is told he can change reality and make it better. Using his new found powers, this man does change reality and makes it a better place. Sound familiar? I mean, if you didn't look at the title, this plot sounds a lot like the Matrix, right? What if I told you there was another movie, with the same plot but came out a year earlier? I'm talking about Dark City. This did come out a year earlier and the Matrix movies are heavily influenced by this film. It didn't do well at the box office, but over the years, Dark City has aged well and has a cult following to it. It's a fun film to watch and it's much better than the Matrix trilogy. So, let's visit this dark city and review Dark City!

The plot:
John Murdoch wakes up in a hotel room with no memory of why or what he's doing there. The only clues are his clothes and a dead hooker. Before he can leave, he gets a phone call telling him a group of people are coming after him and he must leave immediately. John escapes and tries to search for clues about his past. Before he can make headway, a group of men, known as The Strangers try to kill him. However, John alters the reality allowing him to escape. The Strangers are curious as to why a human has their ability and begin to seek him out. During that time, John runs into his wife, Emma, who tells him that she cheated on him and he left her.  John doesn't remember and forgives her, wanting to take her with him to safety. He does however, remember his childhood and wants to go to Shell Beach to see the sun and waves, but no one remembers how to get there. Meanwhile, Detective Bumstead is investigating the murders John supposedly committed and chases after him,though he joins Murdoch after he opens the detective's eyes. At 12 midnight, though, all the clocks stop and The Strangers change the city and give new identities to the citizens. John is the only one awake and witnesses this, making him curious if his memory has been changed before. John runs into Dr. Schreber who tells him that he is like The Strangers and can "tune", meaning he can fight them and defeat them. John eventually hones his powers and with the help of the doctor, he defeats The Strangers in battle. Once they're defeated, John changes the city to his whim and finally goes to Shell Beach.

The Good:
There's a whole lot going on in this movie, and it's hard to condense such a complex plot without telling the whole movie. That being said, it's definitely worth a watch. This movie is a like a noir film of the days of old. You're trying to figure out what's real and what's not. And it works. Rufus Sewell is captivating to watch and he does a convincing job. As does the rest of the crew. The special effects are decent, though a little dated at times. The Strangers are creepy and weird, but they do it well and they never go over the top, until the end (more on that later). Like I said, this plot is complex and it makes you think. And I like movies that do that. Sure, some you can turn your brain off and enjoy the movie, but the ones that make you think are even more special.

The Bad:
I can't think of a whole lot, so I'll cut to the chase. The action isn't the best and there's too many jump cuts. For example, a Stranger will make an attempt to stab John and the camera will jump away before the action is completed. So, you see the Stranger finish and not hit anything. Then there's the last fight. John and the "lead" Stranger have a tuning battle if you will and it comes off like an episode of Dragonball Z. There's even screaming included. It's...not that great.

Overall:
Dark City is a great film. As I said, it's like a noir film and it works. The story's well written and the cast performs wonderfully. Yeah, the action's not the best, but that's not the focus of the plot. And if you've seen the Matrix movies, you can see a lot where they got the inspiration from. Dark City is a movie that makes you think and it's worth the watch.

Rating:
4 buses to Shell Beach out of 5.     

Star Wars V The Empire Strikes Back

All right Star Wars fans! Two more months until the release of Star Wars VII! Last month, I reviewed George Lucas' opening act to an amazing sci fi trilogy and this month I continue it! Today, I'm reviewing Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back. Now, this movie was written by George Lucas only. Irvin Kershner directed in what is probably the best Star Wars film to date. Let's fly to Dagobah and start the review!

The Plot:
After the destruction of the Death Star, the Empire made a huge attack on the rebels, forcing them to hide. The rebels put their newest base on the ice planet Hoth. However, Darth Vader sends thousands of probes in the attempt of locating the rebel base. While on Hoth, Luke is getting to know the wildlife better and almost ends up being dinner. He escapes, but with his wounds and the freezing temperatures, it looks like he won't make it. Thankfully, Han Solo rescues Luke, but Luke is out of it and sees a vision telling him to train with Yoda. Han and Luke make it safely back to the base, but an Imperial probe finds the base and sends a signal to the Empire. As the rebels make their escape from the Empire, Luke travels to Yoda's planet to broaden his Force training. Meanwhile; Han, Leia, Chewbacca and 3PO have some adventures themselves and wind up at Cloud City. Han's friend, Lando offers them a save haven while the Millennium Falcon is being repaired. Their peaceful vacation is cut short when Darth Vader and his troops show up, showing Lando is keeping secrets and is willing to ruin friendships. Darth Vader's plan is to set up a trap for Luke and take Luke to Emperor Palpatine himself. Han is frozen in carbonite to test the trap, and Boba Fett takes his prize to Jabba the Hutt. While training with Yoda, Luke receives a vision of his friends dying and makes preparations to go to Cloud City. Yoda warns Luke that his training is not finished and fighting Vader will make Luke to join the Dark Side. Luke does not heed his warning and goes to Cloud City. Once there, Luke battles Darth Vader, but loses. *spoliers* Darth Vader is Luke's father too. Before Darth Vader can get Luke to join him, Luke escapes and is picked up by Leia, Lando and Chewie in the Falcon. They escape and join up with some rebels and make a plan to rescue Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt. Whew, it's hard to summarize the plot without doing the whole film.

The Good:
Like I said, this is the best movie in the trilogy. It's got action, romance, funny moments, all paced together well. Everyone does their roles well and you can feel the tension when the rebels are facing off against the Empire during the battle of Hoth. You feel happy when Leia and Han confess their love for each other (though, its a bit creepy that there was the brother/sister kiss). And the best plot twist in movie history. Yeah, Vader is Luke's father. It was probably the best kept secret too. The crew didn't know the twist during filming until David Prowse (Vader) said the lines. Oh my god, the line Vader says sends chills down my spine when I hear it. V: "Obi Wan never tell you what happened to your father." L: "He told me enough, he told me you killed him." V: "No, I am your father." Awesome. I can't think of anything else good to say, this movie is so good.

The Bad:
Not a whole lot, actually. There are a few scenes that are pointless to the plot though. Or, they could have been thought out more. For example, when Darth Vader has bounty hunters and is offering a reward to capture Han Solo. We see all these alien bounty hunters for a few seconds, then all the focus is on Boba Fett. I would have liked to see maybe a few other bounty hunters attempt to get the Falcon, but I digress. There were a few "improved" scenes in the special edition, like a very badly dubbed scene of Luke talking about Yoda. He says something else, but another line was dubbed over it and his lips don't match. Other than that, great stuff.

Overall:
I love this movie. As an adult it's become my favorite Star Wars film. Easily the best story told in all of the Star Wars films. The film itself is evenly paced and you never go "Man, I want to see Luke again fighting baddies".

Rating:
5 tauntauns out of 5.

Bonus Round!
Aww yeah. Here we go. The scene: The Millennium Falcon flies into an asteroid field to escape some Imperial Ships. During their flight we see...was that a tennis shoe?

  Well, I expected a potato, but...wait...the Millennium Falcon is an asteroid too?!

 Watch the whole video if you like, but skip to around the 4:00 mark and you'll seen the Falcon fly by trying to destroy the Falcon. Wait, isn't that a time paradox or something?

Back to the Future Part 2

Hello, fellow time travelers! As you know, the world celebrated Back to the Future Day. I went and traveled a day ahead just to make sure hover board technology came out a little late. Sorry, but still no hover boards. While spending a day in the future, I decided to celebrate the past by watching Back to the Future 2. Yeah, time traveling is confusing. Anyways, put on your self tying shoes and get pumped for Jaws 19!

I heard the USA Today was still accurate though.

  The Plot:
After Marty McFly went back to the future and got a glimpse of his new 80s life, Doc Brown shows up to whisk him away to the far away year of 2015. Marty and Doc are trying to stop Marty's kid from going to jail which sets up a chain reaction thus ruining Marty's future life. During the trip, Marty decides to buy a sports almanac to earn a little side cash, but Doc does not encourage it and tosses it in the trash. Old Biff witnesses this and takes the almanac for himself, traveling back in time. Marty and Doc head back to 1985 but it's not the reality they're used to. Biff, rich from his "winnings" owns Hill Valley and has turned into the town into a wasteland. He's also married Loraine and adopted her kids. Marty finds out what happened to the sports almanac and how Biff got it. Marty and Doc go back to 1955, where Old Biff gave young Biff the almanac. Marty and Doc pursue young Biff trying to get the almanac, so they can destroy it and set 1985 back to normal. During their mission, they manage to destroy the almanac but Doc's time machine is struck by lightning and is sent back to 1885. Marty must attempt to go and save the Doc, but will he succeed? Find out in Back to the Future 3!

The Good:
Micheal J. Fox does Marty McFly well, as does Chris Lloyd for Doc Brown. The ideas of what 2015 might be were pretty cool as well, and some of those visions became true. The hover board steals the show though, as like the lightsaber, you want one and want one badly. There are some funny moments, but some off the jokes come off as flat.

The Bad:
The plot. God, this plot sucks. I realize that there was no sequel intended originally, but they could have added some more originality to this plot. 99% percent of the story is "Hey! Remember the skateboard scene? Here's the same thing except in the future!" "Hey, remember when Biff got punched? Here's Marty punching Biff because we can!" Biff, Griff and Old Biff (Thomas F. Wilson) over act through entire film. Oh, and how does Biff manage to travel back in time? He doesn't know how to work the DeLorean. And...how come Doc nor Marty notice the dashboard telling them that the car went back to 1955?! These are major plot holes and they're never explained.  Anyways, Biff doesn't come off as menacing as (past, present, or future version) he normally does and ends up comical at best and doesn't pose any threat like he did in the first film. As for the goons, they fall for the "Hey! What's that?!" too many times in a row to the point where it's just sad. Marty needs some more weapons in his goon fighting arsenal.  Did I mention the plot sucks? Oh, and some of the line delivery from certain characters seem flat, or forced.  Also, how come Loraine marries Biff? It's pretty apparent in both movies, she doesn't like him at all. Just because he has money, doesn't mean he's a better person. She could have just said no, not like Biff can do anything about it. Loraine is dumb.

Overall:
Back to the Future Part 2 isn't as good as the first movie. Yeah, the hover board is cool and all, but sadly there's not any decent moments to save the movie from being great. It's still a decent flick to watch, but you're constantly reminded how good the first movie was and this movie needed to be it's own story. Not a retelling of the first. If you haven't seen this movie, at least see it once and come to your own conclusions.

Rating:
3 hover boards out of 5.

Star Wars: IV A New Hope

A long long time ago, in a galaxy not so far away, there was a movie. This movie changed the sci fi genre forever and even inspired two more movies (what prequels? I heard rumors but, too bad they don't exist). That movie was Star Wars.  Man, even after all these years, Star Wars holds up pretty well, despite the fact that it's budget wasn't huge. It's got great action sequences and memorable lines. So, each month until December, I'll review each of the Star Wars movies (The good ones, obviously.) So, grab your lightsaber and hop into your space ship, and May the Force be with you!

The Plot:
During a galactic civil war between the Rebel Alliance and the Empire, a farm boy named Luke Skywalker dreams of a life with excitement and adventure. When two droids from said Rebel Alliance show up, his dreams become a reality. With the help of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Han Solo and Chewbacca, Luke saves a kidnapped Princess Leia from the Empire's Death Star. However, their fight isn't over yet when the Empire decides to use their ultimate weapon. Intent on destroying the planet that the Rebels reside on, our heroes gear up and launch an attack. The clock is ticking as Luke and the Rebel fighters take on the Death Star and attempt to destroy it.

The Good:
Pretty much this whole movie. The pacing is done right. The characters are easy to like and easy to get behind. You hate the Empire from the get go, but you're still impressed with them. And the lines that are so memorable; "I have a bad feeling about this." "I find your lack of faith disturbing." And always, "That's no moon, that's a space station." The action's amazing to watch too. From the dogfights in space, to the turrets in the Millennium Falcon. Which, were inspired by actual footage of WW II dogfights. Darth Vader is inspired by samurai culture and the Jedi are loosely based off of samurai as well.  I mean, this movie is awesome.

The Bad:
It was pretty hard to find some bad in all that good, but I did manage to find some. It should be noted I watched one of the many "Special edition" Star Wars, so yeah. There's the scene where Greedo shoots first for one. (Han shot first) Second, there's the deleted scene where Jabba is at Han's ship and they strike a deal. This should have remained deleted. At the end, Han says "Jabba. You're a wonderful human being." Which, makes no sense since Jabba is a space slug. Leia's dialect keeps switching from British and American during the film. There are a few plot holes, but they're not glaringly obvious.  However, the Empire is pretty stingy when it comes to lasers and "malfunctioning" escape pods. Of course, the movie would have been over a lot faster.

Overall:
Star Wars is a classic. It's also a great movie, despite it's flaws. Maybe that's why everyone likes it so much. It'll remain one of my all time favorite movies for years to come.

Rating:
4.5 lightsabers out of 5.

Live and Let Die

Hello folks, sorry for not posting anything over the last month. I've been super lazy lately and as fun as writing reviews is, it's still work. Anyways, I'm back and ready to review some films!

Bond. James Bond. These three words are so legendary everybody knows who James Bond is. The original gentleman spy. The man who has the best job in the world. Cool cars, cool gadgets and cool women, what's not to love about James Bond?

Well, that might be one thing not to love about him.

So, today, I'm reviewing the 8th James Bond movie, Live and Let Die. This movie is one of my all time favorite Bond films and probably has some of the best chase scenes in movie history. So, as they say at MI6, "Bring back the car in one piece."

The Plot:
Several MI6 agents are killed in a span of 24 hours and Agent 007 is called in to finish what they started. Why'd they all die?, you ask. They were all keeping an eye on Dr. Kanaga, a Caribbean dictator. Sounds suspicious. Anyways, J.B. takes off and enters the world of voodoo and whoodoo and drugs. He meets Solitaire, Kanaga's personal fortune teller and immediately gets into trouble. As the mystery unravels, 007 discovers Kanaga is planning to give away 2 tons of heroin for free in order to monopolize the drug industry, then sell the heroin to the highest bidder. 007 manages to bring down Kanaga's drug business with planes, boats and some good old fashioned shoot outs. James Bond stops Kanaga by, well, over inflating his personality, so to speak.

The Good:
The story's pretty good for a Bond film. It's the first one that doesn't have a palm rubbing, mustache twirling villain who wants to take over the world. The bad guy, Kanaga, just wants to own the drug business and nothing else. I like that. Roger Moore as Bond is entertaining. He cracks jokes even when he's in serious trouble. Tee Hee, the villain in the video above is hilarious, because he's always laughing inappropriately, and he's pretty terrifying. Then there's the boat chase. That's right, not a car chase, a boat chase. This is one of the best movie chase scenes ever. It's suspenseful and has comedy at the right times. Then, the best line of all time:

Oh, and some of the set pieces in this movie....stunning. Mr. Big's (Kanaga) lair is...awesome. The underground cave near the end, beautiful.

The Bad:
There's not a whole lot of bad stuff in this movie, but I did find some. Let's start with Rosie Carver, a double agent who works for Kanaga. She has to lead Bond somewhere to kill him or Kanaga's men kill him, I'm not sure. Anyways, worst double agent ever. She screams a every little thing, even to the point where Bond gets sick of it. She's useless and had no point in being in the film at all. Some of the situations Bond gets himself in are easily escapable. There's one scene where Bond sits in a chair, then Tee Hee pushes a button and the world's easiest to break out of hand braces "trap" Bond. Maybe Bond knew that, maybe Kanaga's men had guns. Who knows. Moore tries to look like they're super tight, but these hand bindings rest comfortably on Bond. And finally, 007's CIA buddy, Felix Leiter. Dude's seriously the dumbest CIA agent ever. One of his men gets killed and instead of investigating as to why his agent isn't where he's supposed to be Felix says "He must lying down of the job." Har har. Later, Bond falls in one of Kanaga's traps while Felix gets a phone call from his dead man. (How does that work?) Anyways, Felix comes back, asks the waiter where Bond is and gets hushed. Does Felix get worried and go looking for Bond? Of course not. The CIA should have fired this hack a long time ago.

Over all:
Live and Let Die is a fun movie to watch. There's good lines, good story, good characters and fun for the family. As I said, it's one of my favorite Bond movies.

Rating:
5 Secret agents on whose side?! out of 5.  

Ip Man

Bruce Lee. One of the greatest martial artists ever to live. Inspired others, such as myself, to pursue martial arts as a way of life. But who inspired Bruce Lee? This film is about Bruce Lee's teacher, Ip Man. Master of Wing Chun. This film stars Donnie Yen as Ip Man and is an awesome movie to watch.

The Plot:
In the city of Foshan, many martial arts schools are opening up and each one wishes to be the best. Ip Man, a wealthy man and exceptional martial artist, but he prefers to lead a quiet life and never takes on any students. When an out of town martial artist takes on each school one by one and wins, Ip Man must defend the town's honor to ensure that the schools stay open. However, when Japan invades China during WW2, Ip Man and his family become homeless. Ip Man looks for a job to support his family and runs into some fellow teachers. The general of the Japanese troops in Foshan holds a competition to see who's skilled in fighting. The winner gets a bag of rice and an offer to return again. When one martial artist is killed, Ip Man accepts the challenge and takes on 10 fighters. Impressed, the general asks Ip Man to return, but Ip does not accept. Frustrated, the general tries to lure Ip into fighting again, but cannot seem to find him, thanks to a friend who is a Japanese translator. However, when Ip's best friend is threatened to be executed on the spot, Ip Man accepts the general's challenge. This time, the challenge is to the death and the other fighter is the general himself, a master of karate. Ip Man fights the general and wins, but is shot after the general's defeat. Ip Man and his family decide to head to Hong Kong and begin a new life there.

The Good:
If you watched the scene above, then watch the whole movie. The fight scenes are freaking stunning to watch. As said before, Bruce Lee got me interested into martial arts, but that scene actually got me to really learn kung fu. These fights are so well choreographed, they make the Jason Bourne fight scenes look cheesy. The story's pretty good too, you get invested in Ip Man's journey and root for him throughout the flick. The actors do a good job as well, making them believable and making you emotionally invested. Did I mention how awesome the fight scenes were? Seriously, those fights are the jewels in this movie.

The Bad:
Ip Man's wife, Cheung Wing-sing is a bitch in this movie. She's not happy that Ip Man practices wing chun, or practices with his fellow martial artists. She wants him by her side every minute giving her attention and to his son. This doesn't make Ip Man a bad father or husband for that matter, but give the guy some space. Cheung acts like a 2 year old throughout most of the movie and she finally realizes that Ip Man likes kung fu and she should have acted more mature near the end of the freaking movie! I despise her in this movie and I hope Ip Man's wife in real life didn't behave like this. When Ip's family is kicked out of their house and they become "homeless". I use the quotation marks, because, well...Ip Man might not have a mansion but they have a pretty nice house for being homeless. Yeah, money and food are scarce, but his living situation? Not super believable when you live in a neighborhood. Now for the general of the Japanese troops. He's introduced as this badass karate master who can take on multiple opponents without breaking a sweat. During the fight between him and Ip Man, its like he lost his karate powers or something. Ip Man wipes the floor with him in 30 seconds, and it's kinda embarrassing to watch. Did the general choke or something? Did the crowd of people watching give him stage fright? I don't know, but the final fight was a let down in my opinion.

Overall:
Ip Man is a fantastic movie. Though most of it is fictional, the actual use of wing chun is very accurate. Donnie Yen is superb in this film and if this movie doesn't leave you wanting to learn Wing Chun, I don't know what will.

4.5 Wing Chun dummies out of 5. 

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Ah, the life of being a gentleman spy. Cool cars, cool gadgets, lovely women, what's not to like about this awesome job? Well, this movie doesn't have any cool cars, but makes up the difference in the other two departments. What movie am I talking about? Kingsman: The Secret Service of course. This spy thriller makes a name for it's own, doing some things different than other spy flicks. Directed by Matthew Vaughn (also directed X-Men: First Class) this movie stars: Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson and Micheal Cain.

Looks like my closet.

The Plot:
Galahad (played by Firth) is training some potential Kingsman agents. When one sacrifices himself for the team, Galahad feels guilty and offers to help the dead man's family in any way. 17 years later, a professor (played by Mark Hamill) is kidnapped by billionaire Richard Valentine (Jackson). This alerts the Kingsman to go into action, but Lancelot (another agent) is killed in the process. This death leads to the other Kingsman agents to pick a suitable candidate for Kingsman training. Galahad runs into Eggsy, the son of the agent who sacrificed himself. Eggsy, a lowlife who lives with his mom, shows potential to be Kingsman material and is taken off to train. During the training, it is revealed Valentine is kidnapping politicians, royalty, musicians, etc for something big. Those not kidnapped, appear to be working with him for unknown reasons. Eggsy trains hard and ends up being one of the top 3 in his class, impressing everyone. Galahad pretends to be a billionaire to get Valentine's attention to find out more info, but instead gets Valentine's attention in the wrong way. Eggsy fails his last test and is kicked out of the Kingsman. Heading back home, he almost ends up in trouble, but Galahad intervenes.  Galahad is angry, but says he'll make things right after he gets called in for a mission. The mission quite possibly has one of the best fight sequences ever, and it's jaw droppingly awesome. However, Galahad is killed in the line of duty, Eggsy goes out to finish what he started. Valentine's plan is to wipe out humanity by using a SIM card that makes people become killers. Eggsy teams up with Merlin (the Q of Kingsman) and Lancelot (the student who passed) and goes to take down Valentine.

The Good:
Surprisingly, the plot's pretty good. It's silly and knows it is, and plays well on that. There's a few times where the actors make jokes about the cheesy Bond films and the movie does the opposite of what you'd expect. The actors do their roles pretty well, too. Firth is awesome as Galahad and he's fun to watch. Taron Egerton (Eggsy) does a decent job as well, watching him as a lowlife becoming an kick butt agent is entertaining. The fight scenes are well choreographed, though totally unrealistic at times, but still fun. And the scene where I mentioned Galahad fighting....well, let's say Jurassic World's got a contender for best fight. Overall, fun movie to watch.

The Bad:
The amount of swear words. Don't get me wrong, swearing is fine and all, but too much of it makes you come off as an idiot. There are better words to complete your sentences than cussing. The part where Galahad plays a billionaire to get Valentine's attention is a sin. They're at dinner and Valentine's vast amount of money to feed his guest is...McDonald's? Seriously? If I were his guest, I'd be peeved. Dude, you're a billionaire and you serve your guests $5 Big Macs? The hell? Mark Hamill's performance. While I like Mark, his British accent could use some work. Half the time it sounded like the Joker had moved to London and was mocking the people there. It was..not the best. There's also several times during the training scenes where they trick the students to make them adapt to certain situations. Each time, it turns out to be a lie, yet none of the students figure this out. It's a bit frustrating to see these people get the wool pulled over their eyes and none manage to figure out that there was no danger in the first place. Now, the movie itself. There were times where the soundtrack sounded identical to X-Men: First Class, so I got confused and forgot which movie I was watching. Couldn't they have made the music less like X-Men? Even some of the shots and fade aways were the same! Come on! It's like the movie was telling me, "Hey! This is the same guy who directed that good X-Men movie!" Yes, congratulations Matt Vaughn, I don't care, makeyour movie somewhat different!

Overall:
Kingsman: The Secret Service is a good movie. I like that it's clever to poke fun at old spy movies and yet do something different with it. As I said before, the plot's pretty decent and the actors do their roles well. I think it could have been better if I wasn't constantly reminded about X-Men: First Class.  
Bonus Round!

Merlin. This guy is awesome. He's like Q from James Bond, if Q could fly planes and shoot guns.

Rating:
4 umbrella guns out of 5.
 

Jurassic World. We've got bigger dinos!

 So, last time I reviewed a movie, I mentioned I'd be reviewing the newest Jurassic film, Jurassic World! I watched it a second time so I'd be giving my viewers an (mostly) unbiased review of this film. Directed by Colin Trevorrow and produced by Steven Spielberg, this movie stars Chris Pratt, Bryce Howard, and Ty Simpkins.

This is the sequel Jurassic Park deserved, personally. Now, was it as good as the first movie? Eh, not really, but it certainly made an impact. Also, it should be mentioned that this movie has nothing to do with Jurassic Park 2 and 3. So, hop on the monorail, get some photos of the mosasaurus, and welcome to Jurassic World! Oh, Spoilers ahead! If you haven't seen this movie, go it see it first. Or get spoiled, but don't get mad at me. I warned you.

Please, do not feed the raptors.

The Plot:
So, Jurassic Park apparently was a success and actually opened and then got a name upgrade. Visitors from all over the world come to see the park's attractions and eat brontosaurus meat. (Kidding) Two kids, Zach and Gray Mitchell go off to see their Aunt Claire, the park's operation manager. However, Claire is too busy with pointless things and has her assistant look after the boys. Meanwhile, Owen (played by Chris Pratt) is training velociraptors, because this is a Jurassic Park movie. And raptors are essential. Claire meets Owen and asks him to check out a new dinosaur the park has made to bring in more visitors. Dubbed the Indominus Rex, it's a hybrid dinosaur, and it's super mean. Owen and Claire find that the Rex is missing but it turns out it was smarter than the people who made it. Naturally, it escapes and goes on a hunting spree, causing the park to semi shut down. Zach and Gray escape from Claire's assistant and do their own thing but they come across the Indominus Rex. Claire and Owen go look for the boys and things go from bad to worse as dinosaurs begin attacking the visitors. Everyone comes together as they hunt the Indominus Rex. Many teeth are involved in one of the best action fight scenes ever created by man, oh my god, it's so awesome. Everyone leaves and we're asked the big questions, like what happened to Dr. Henry Wu?

Maybe Dr. Wu was eaten?

The Good:
Some of the plot's pretty decent. Bad dino escapes and people hunt it. Plain and simple. Some of the special effects are pretty stunning as well. There are some scenes where you say "CGI." but it's not bad CGI. Most of the dialogue between Claire and Owen are pretty funny. Chris Pratt does an exceptional job as Owen and maybe he might be in another movie? MORE SPOILERS!!! T-Rex vs Indominus Rex. Oh my god. This is probably one of the best fight scenes in cinema history. It makes everyone's inner 5 year old scream in delight. They may have disgraced the T-rex in Jurassic Park 3, but this movie redeems the T-rex. Quite well, to be honest. There are some pretty tense scenes that run well too.

The Bad:
Forgettable characters. Zach and Gray? They're dull. There's literally no point for them to be there, except to make Claire grow as a character. That's it. Weaponizing velociraptors? I can give you a list as to why that's a stupid, horrible idea. This subplot was just stupid. InGen's "leader" even says they domesticated dogs, they can do so with raptors. Need I remind you that took generations? Not a few months and hey, nice raptor. Thankfully, he gets killed. The over the top racist owner. Now, I don't know what the Indian actor's voice actually sounds like, but his character came off as over the top. And when he dies, it's meaningless. He blows up and you're thinking, "I didn't care that he died at all." There's also a subplot with the boys where you find out the parents sent them to the park so they could get a divorce. One, worst parents ever. Two, we get one and half scenes and it's never mentioned again. So the point of that was? Character development? Because nothing happened for them. And the biggest sin of all, people getting sick of seeing REAL dinosaurs so the park has to make new ones to keep customers coming. Seriously? Zoos in that universe must last two weeks before people get sick of zebras. I'd kill just to see any kind of dinosaur for the rest of my life. Now, the Indominus Rex. She's cool, but there are problems. One, she's made albino for some reason and makes it harder to see her. Why not make her hot pink? She has no natural predators so why make her harder to see? Two, why did you have to make her a killing machine? Why couldn't you make her a herbivore? I can run the park better than most of these morons combined. Chris Pratt's character is the only one who knows what's going on and every one's like, "We made them, so shut up." He reminds me of Ellen Ripley in Alien. They're the smartest ones of the group of people that they're with. Also, anybody, and I mean anybody can waltz into the control room. Security is a joke in this film.  Even the ACU (Asset Containment Unit) is set up to be this awesome squad of dino trackers, but they don't even last 30 seconds. And they use non lethal weapons even after it's apparent the Indominus Rex isn't going down from cattle prods.

Overall:
Despite all of the sins above, Jurassic World is a good movie. Like I said, it's the sequel Jurassic Park deserved. It has it's flaws, but it makes up for that with the effects and entertaining banter. If another movie is made, do the following: Resolve your subplots. Don't do weaponize X. It comes off as lazy writing and as been done too many times before. (We know it's a bad idea already, stop it.) Make your characters memorable. Lex and Tim? They were good. Also, I totally had to wikipedia the kids for this movie because, as I said they're forgettable. I didn't care whether they made it or not. Jurassic World is like the summer block busters of the early 90s. Fun, memorable and worth watching over and over again.

Rating:
3.5 million years in the making out of 5.

Welcome to....Jurassic Park!

Hey guys! It's that time of the year where we celebrate our nation's Independence. What better movie to watch than Jurassic Park? You totally thought I was going to say Independence Day didn't you? Yeah, well, this movie's much better. Inspired by the best selling novel of the same name and written by Micheal Crichton, this movie has some similarities. Directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neill and Lara Dern, welcome to Jurassic Park.

This ride looks like it's going to be fun.

The Story: John Hammond, CEO of InGen, and billionaire, is in the process of creating a cross between an amusement park and zoo filled with dinosaurs. However, before he opens the park he invites Dr(s) Grant and Ellie Sattler(paleontologists), Ian Malcolm (a Chaos Theorist) and Donald Genaro (blood sucking lawyer) to "assess" the park. At first, everything seems to be fine.The dinosaurs are there, things seem to be well kept, the lab assistants are happy, etc. There's one problem though, Malcolm doesn't believe everything will go according to plan and chaos will ensue. Genaro, the lawyer, is ecstatic and thinks the park will be a hit. Oh and Hammond's grand kids show up too. But as you know, if something goes wrong, everything goes wrong. Dennis Nedry (Wayne Knight) shuts down the park in order to steal dinosaur embryos for InGens competition. Things go from bad to worse when the parks electric fences go down and the dinosaurs learn that they're free. Dinosaurs on the loose can only mean one thing. Chaos. People become the hunted and dinosaurs end up at the top of the food chain. It's a fight for survival and who knows what the end game might be.

The Good:
This movie is a cinematic masterpiece. This movie made CGI a possibility though, it's not always a good thing at times... These special effects are just astoundingly awesome. You feel the terror when the T-Rex tries to eat small children in a Ford. The performance from the actors is excellent, while the story keeps you on the edge of your seat. Some of the best lines are said in this movie too. "She doesn't want to eat, she wants to hunt!" "Life finds a way." And the most famous line in movie history, "Clever girl." This movie should be what movies now should strive to be. It's certainly aged well too. I mean, the CGI's not great, but the robotic dinosaurs definitely add a certain realism to the movie. Other movies like Phantom Menace for example look like garbage compared to this. And P.M. came out 6 years after Jurassic Park! This movie is an almost perfect movie and that's hard to come by nowadays.

I'm sorry I mentioned that crappy Star Wars movie, I really am.

The Bad:
Now, this is more like nitpicking, since it's really hard to find "major" problems in this film. Muldoon, for example is an expert on predatory animals and used to run safari expeditions. In the book, this guy blew off a velociraptor's  leg with a grenade launcher. In the movie, well, he gets bamfoozled by said dinosaur. I realize the raptors are smart, but you'd think with a bunch of hunting experience, Muldoon could at least trick a raptor or two. Lex, Hammond's granddaughter, is deemed a "hacker" meaning Hollywood thinks hackers are mystical beings who can use magic on computers. In one scene, when everyone is trying to get the park working again, Lex uses a computer. She doesn't "hack" anything, she just figures out the computer like a normal person would. That scene, while intense, is pointless when it comes to the "hacking" thing. Other than that, just minor things.

Overall:
Jurassic Park is cinematic perfection. It keeps the pacing nice and tidy, the characters are well written and believable, and the effects are so lovely. While the book is better, the movie does a pretty good job at keeping most of the similarities between the book and film. If you've seen Jurassic World  and liked it, I suggest you see the movie that started it all. You won't be disappointed.
4.5 velociraptors in the freezer out of 5. 

P.S. I will review Jurassic World. Eventually. I've already seen it, but I had a bad case of Fanboy-itis. I'll see it again to give you an (mostly) unbiased review.

Predator

Hey all! Sorry I haven't been posting any reviews lately. Since I've been gone for awhile, I'll post some reviews up more frequently than usual. Anyways, today, I'm going to review Predator. This is a classic 80s action movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, so it's bound to have classic one liners and cheesy effects. So, let's dive into the review!

Plot: Arnold and his team of spec ops are called into Central America for a recuse mission. Dutch (Schwarzenegger) is briefed by Dilon (Carl Weathers) that a cabinet member crossed a border and was captured by baddies. Duke, Dilon and the team fly across the border to rescue the cabinet member, but things go from bad to worse. First, there's no cabinet member. Second, something's in the jungle killing off Dutch's team one by one. This thing is not off this earth. This thing is the PREDATOR. Will Dutch survive and escape to safety? Or will he become one of the Predator's trophies?

The Good:
C'mon. It's an 80s sci fi action movie. What's not to like? Arnold and his cheesy one liners, guns that never run out of ammo and a badass alien that kills for fun. Popcorn thriller if you ask me. It's a fun watch even though the story's pretty flimsy and the effects aren't all that great. And the fight between the Predator and Dutch is pretty epic. Jesse Ventura is fun to watch too, since he's got the biggest gun and some pretty bad one liners.

The Bad:
It pains me to do this, it really does. But it comes with the job I suppose. First of all, this "A Team" of manly men aren't the best at their jobs. There are numerous times where you're given little stories of how awesome they are, but they're pretty dumb at times. For example, Anna ( a Central American solider I'd guess you'd call her) tries to escape several times. And each time, these experienced men fall for the dumbest things. Want to hit a guy with a branch? Sure, go ahead. Want to throw leaves in someone's face? Why not? Seriously, these guys are just- so stupid sometimes. Now, for the Predator. When it comes to killing Dutch, the Predator sure takes it's sweet time. Don't get me wrong, if I were a badass killer alien and I've beaten my prey, sure. I'd toy with it some, but the Predator gives Dutch too much time to kill it.

Overall:
Predator is and always be a classic. It's fun, stupid and cheesy, but in a good way. As I said before, the story's flimsy, but that's what people liked in action movies. Right?? Right??

Score: 3.5 Plasma casters out of 5.

Jet Li's Unleashed

Hey everybody! Hope you all had a great Memorial Day! Sorry, I think I slacked off a bit, but have no fear, I am reviewing a movie! Today I'm reviewing Unleashed. This movie came out in 2005 and it stars: Jet Li, Bob Hoskins, and Morgan Freeman. Let's get to the movie!

Plot Synopsis: Danny is a human guard dog in this 2005 action movie. His "owner" Bart (Bob Hoskins) is a cruel loan shark who intimidates his payees by sicking Danny on them. Danny wears a collar that keeps him under control, but once the collar is off, there is no holding him back. After collecting money, Danny is kept in a cage unloved and alone. One day, Danny and Bart attempt to collect a loan, but the man, a jewelry store owne,r being threatened deduces that if Danny remains collared he will not be attacked. This turns out to be true, so Bart and his cronies are attacked while Danny does nothing until Bart frees himself and uncollars Danny. Angry that Danny did nothing to help him, Bart continues with his loan hunting at an antique store. Bart assigns Danny to a task: Watch the red light, go in and attack. However, Danny gets distracted by some pianos. Enter Sam. A blind piano tuner, asks Danny to help him. Danny does so and misses the light going off to help Bart out. Bart is extremely angry, but forgives Danny. After some more stuff, Danny survives a car wreck caused by the man earlier at the jewelry store. Danny runs into Sam at the antique store and Sam takes him in. After meeting Sam's step daughter, Victoria, the two musicians attempt to make Danny into a normal human being. Once things are starting to look upwards for Danny, he's kidnapped again by one of Bart's gophers. Bart tries to get Danny back into his old habits, but Danny has changed into a better person thanks to Sam and Victoria. There's also a sub plot about finding out who Danny's mom was too. Everything's solved and Danny lives a normal life.

The Good: Pretty much the majority of it. It asks the question, "Can someone turn someone else into an animal?" And goes with it. The acting's pretty decent, as are the action sequences. It's a fun flick to watch and most of the fights keep you on edge. Jet Li plays a completely different role than he usually does and he does well at it. Morgan Freeman....well, personally you can't go wrong with Morgan Freeman. Oh, and there's a pretty funny line too. "Corn is safe!" You have to watch the movie for that line.

The Bad: There's this kinda creepy-ish subplot where you think Victoria is falling for Danny, but thankfully it never happens, seeing she's 18 and he's in his 30s? I have no idea. Then there's the music obsessed musicians. Almost every conversation between Danny and Sam or Victoria has something to with music. Yes, Victoria and Sam are musicians, but not everything needs to be related to music. The mother of Danny subplot seems a bit forced at times, and while it's a neat idea, it could have been thought out better.

Don't worry, I'm not done yet. Above is a fight scene between Danny and the Man in white. Now, the man in white just shows up about 20 minutes before the movie is over. What's the deal with unnamed martial arts experts showing up randomly? Is that a thing that I don't know about? I mean the fight's cool, but there's no sense of tension if we don't know who this guy is. We know Danny's going to win, so why bother?

Overall: Unleashed is a good movie. It truly is. Jet Li is a great performer and he does well by playing Danny. Bob Hoskins and Morgan Freeman also do stellar performances. This is a fun movie and you should totally watch it.

This movie gets 4 hook kicks to the face out of 5.

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Earth, Wind, Fire and Water. Only the avatar can bend the four elements and bring harmony to the chaos. Now, before everyone starts freaking out, I'm not reviewing M. Night's "masterpiece" aka pile of crap, but instead I'll be reviewing each season. Avatar was a cartoon on Nickelodeon and it was pretty well received. The animation style is impressive and the story was well above par. Nobles sang, monks smiled and people were happy. Sadly, I was not one of those people. I was in highschool when this cartoon came out and deemed it too "childish" for me. Ironically, I was watching what the kids call anime then so joke's on me. As the years went by and I studied martial arts (hence the name of my blog) I grew to appreciate this kid's show. Recently, I purchased the first "book" and gave it a watch. Now the plot's this: Every blah blah year an avatar is born and masters the four elements; earth, water, air and fire. This avatar apparently brings peace by doing this and then the next avatar is chosen. Aang, an airbending monk is the avatar and must learn the elements before the Fire Nation does...more evil things? I'm not sure.

 

Can't say no to that face though.

Now, I'm going to review the episodes I deemed the best of the season and rate them. Don't get me wrong this is a decent show, but I can't review the whole thing in one go. Let me get you with a synopsis of the story: As said before, Aang, is the avatar. Katara and her brother Sokka find him and they learn that Aang must learn how to bend water. So, they set off to the North Pole to find a master. Hijinks ensue. Now, to the episodes I liked!!


Imprisoned: So, Aang and the gang (yeah, took me like five seconds to come up with that) see a boy practicing Earthbending. They scare him off, but they learn he lives in a village where those pesky Fire dudes are shaking down the villagers for petty cash. The boy, Haru, says that the Fire Nation forbids Earthbending and will arrest anyone who does it. However, an old man get trapped and Haru must use his bending to save him. The Fire army hears of this and arrests him. Katara feels responsible and "earth bends" to get arrested. She finds Haru and other benders on a metal rig in the ocean, and attempts to rally them. They are too discouraged, but eventually they learn they can beat the Fire army. It's a neat episode, once they learn that there is something to bend their hopes are raised and the beat the bully. Oh and George Takei makes an appearance, so this episode's awesome. Oh my... <George Takei voice>

I will be your host. And you will be my guests.

The Storm: A man notices Aang is the avatar and accuses him for not being there when it mattered. Aang runs off and we learn what really happened 100 years ago. Also, we learn why Prince Zuko (the main antagonist) is why the way he is. It's a cool origin story and we see different sides of each character. Aang normally fun and outgoing becomes closed and indifferent. Zuko, cruel and ruthless, starts out as an ambitious young man, only to speak out against his father and end up fighting him. The way this story is told is neat. It gives more humanity to the characters making them easier to relate to.

The King of Omashu: Yeah, it's somewhat out of order, but still. Aang and his friends stop by Omashu, an earthbending city to have fun. Their fun comes to an end when they cause massive damage to some cabbages, but the king decides to do something else. Aang is put through some challenges and ends up dueling the king himself, not knowing that the king is actually a powerful earth bender. In the end, the king actually knows Aang and gives him some helpful advice before he takes on the Fire Lord.

The Siege of the North 1 and 2: The avatar gang finally make it to the North pole. However, it's not what they expected. Katara, a water bender herself, cannot learn alongside with Aang because women are good for healing that's what. The Fire Navy decides to launch an attack on the Northern Water Tribe in hopes of capturing Aang. Aang must stop the Fire dudes, but he hasn't mastered water bending. Oh, Sokka falls in love with the princess of the tribe, but she can't love him back. Then she turns into the moon. Seriously. Aang defeats the Fire Navy and everyone is well.

Flying is the best.

The good:
The majority of it to be honest with you. The art is stunning. The action scenes look good. Some of the fights remind me of a Jackie Chan film, because Aang does some stuff similar to Chan's style. The characters are well written and you feel like you're alongside them and living their adventures. The stories are well thought out and aren't run of the mill. I even like the uses of Chinese martial arts. Yes, each style of bending is based off a style of kung fu. I can even name the styles. Ready? Fire: Shaolin Kung fu (crap, that must mean I'm a fire bender) Water: Tai Chi. Earth: Hung Gar. Air: Bagwa. See? Nailed it. There's even Chinese symbolism and art styles used through out the season. It's a well done series.

The bad:
Unfortunately, kung fu can't make me ignore some flaws. First off, Aang. I get that he's 12 years old and has a lot to learn, but didn't the monks he learned with leave any lessons? Aang likes to have fun, I get it. I'm cool with it. But when he's learning something new, he's too impatient or too busy goofing off. For example, when he's learning water bending at the North Pole, instead of taking it seriously, he uses his newfound powers to turn him self into a snowman. Kid, fun is good for you, but turning yourself into a snow man ain't going to save the world. Other than that, Aang is awesome. Zuko, oh Zuko. Listen to your uncle. After losing so many times, you could learn a thing or two from your uncle, who happens to be a general. Oh, and that means he has more field experience than you. Now for the princess thing. When the water princess is introduced, her father says: "She's 16 and that means she can be engaged." Did that mean like one second later, someone asked to marry her? Poor Sokka goes through hoops but she's all "Boo hoo, I can't like you because I'm marrying random citizen No. 32." Random citizen is introduced and he....I don't know what happens to him. He just kinda stopped showing up. But, don't tell me princess here can be engaged, but whoa! She's totally marrying someone now. That was dumb. Then she turns into the moon. I can't say that enough.

Overall:
Avatar: The Last Airbender is a solid cartoon. Even after all these years, I consider it a titan compared to some other cartoons that have just come out. It's original, funny and serious rolled into one. Personally, I can't wait until I watch season two. I give this cartoon (at least this season)

4.5 staff glider thingys out of 5. 

Did you like this review? Want me to review Book 2: Earth? Let me know! Other than that, I'll keep reviewing movies.