I'll be frank here. Unfortunately, actors do have their fair share of bad movies. Such is the case in this Double Fail feature, starring Jackie Chan. I'm fairly sure I've mentioned that I'm a Jackie Chan fan, and it pains me to watch bad movies with him in it. It's about as bad as watching Tony Jaa succumbing to cheesy green screen fight scenes and simplifying his stunts. (Oh wait. He did that. Damn.) So, let's get on with these movies.
Mr. Nice Guy: Jackie Chan is a famous TV chef living in Australia. He accidentally finds himself caught up in a news reporter's story gone bad. Basically, the reporter (played by Gabrielle Fitzpatrick) manages to get video evidence of two drug gangs and they want it. Jackie constantly fights his way through waves of gang canon fodder and gets the bad guy arrested. That's it. There is literally no story telling whatsoever. Jackie's called "Mr. Nice Guy" once in the entire movie and we see no evidence of him being a nice guy. I mean, he's not kicking puppies or anything, but he just seems like a normal guy. Diana, the reporter is...there. She does get some pretty good video evidence despite the fact she and her camera man where about two stories up in a super dark room though.
The Good:
It's a Jackie Chan movie, so there's bound to be some decent fight sequences. That's about all I can say nice about this movie.
The Bad:
Everything. The acting, the story, even the characters are just dumb. And the gangs...how in the hell do they manage to know where everyone lives? Seriously? Is looking for people that easy to do in Australia? It's just...bad. Even the last scene of the movie is disappointing. It's neat, but it's not how a Jackie Chan movie is supposed to end. Oh, and slow mo...lot's of slow mo.
Overall:
I'm going to be blunt here. Mr. Nice Guy is a bad movie. If you're a fan of this movie, more power to you, but I was disappointed through the entire thing. The only good thing I can say were the fight scenes, and even those got old. A flimsy story with action scenes trying to cover it up is just lazy or bad writing.
2 out of 5...bad video tapes.
Jackie Chan is the Prisoner:
First off, this is the most misleading title ever. Jackie Chan at best is a secondary character in this movie. The star is actually Andy Lau. Jackie has a few appearances, but they're pretty short and pointless. The story is Lau is an undercover cop who is sent to a prisoner under the suspension something else is going on. He befriends Charlie, a convict who did...I have no idea. But Charlie is the go to guy on info. Then there's Samo Hung. He's a guy who has a family, and he keeps trying to escape to see his only son. He gets away once, then gets sent back to the slammer. Wait, this movie is starting to sound familiar. Oh jeez, this is kind of the plot to Cool Hand Luke. Cool guy? Check. Corrupt guards and warden? Check. All we need is...a girl getting wet from something and the prisoners oogling her. Check. Seriously? You ripped off the plot from Cool Hand Luke? (goes off to rant for a bit) Okay. I'm back. There are a few fight scenes, then the plot decides to steal from another movie. That's right, they're going to kill off Charlie The Longest Yard style. A light bulb bomb. Ugh...this movie is just...okay. I can do this, almost to the end. Turns out the corrupt warden "kills" certain prisoners only to bring them back to do his dirty work in hopes of having a second chance at life. Andy, Chan, and Samo do a assassination job, only to have Chan and Samo killed off. There's another guy but he's not that important. Andy arrests the corrupt warden because....get this, the warden was a drug lord who wanted his partner killed. <sigh>
The Good:
Um, no. There's nothing good about this movie.
The Bad:
Everything. The title is misleading, the story's dumb and the majority of the plot is ripped off from two other movies. I could have watched Cool Hand Luke instead of this! Except for the undercover cop part, the majority of this movie is Cool Hand Luke! As I said before, the title is misleading. Jackie Chan probably gets about 15 minutes total of screen time in this movie. Even the back of the DVD box plot is misleading! The last time I was mislead this bad, I nearly put a hole in my TV. This movie sucks. The fights are not exciting, the characters are something we've seen before, and did I mention the plot is bad?
Overall:
This movie is just one gigantic mess of disappointment. Save yourself some time and just watch Cool Hand Luke instead. It's a much better movie.
Since this movie was so bad, it's not getting a special rating. It's getting a star.
0 Stars out of 5.
Friday, April 3, 2015
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
21 Jump Street
I like to think of myself as a man with fine tastes. I drink chardonnay from the early 1800s, whilst listening to Beethoven. I eat only the finest chocolates made in Italy. I drive luxury cars such as Bugatti, Ferrari, and Porsche. Every now and then, when I'm in the mood, I like to watch stupid comedies. This is one of those movies. Now, those who like this movie, don't get offended. I do like this movie, but in all regards, it's stupid. A stupid comedy. What am I talking about? 21 Jump Street of course.
21 Jump Street used to be a television show starring Johnny Depp and Peter DeLuise. However, this movie does not (well, kinda) star them. Our heroes are Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum. They're cops who aren't the best at their job, so they're sent undercover to bust a drug supplier who's making big waves. The story opens with Schmidt (Hill) a nerd in highschool, trying to ask out one of the popular girls. Greg Jenko (Tatum) teases Schmidt, embarrassing him. 7 years later, they run into each other at the police academy and become fast friends. Schmidt (the brains) helps Jenko (the brawn) and vice versa, thus both graduating police school. They become partners, naively believing being cops will make their lives more exciting. Sadly, this is not the case. They are on patrol and notice an infamous biker gang. In hopes of becoming heroes, they try to arrest said gang, but in the end fail, because Jenko did not read them their Miranda rights. (Which is not true, but hey movie rules.) Due to their lack of arrests, Schmidt and Jenko are sent to the 21 Jump Street undercover division. Their case? Go undercover as students, find the supplier of a new super drug, HFS. Also, if you get expelled from school, you get kicked out of Jump Street.
Their first day goes smoothingly. Jenko forgetting his undercover identity, thus switching the roles of the two would be cops. Schmidt and Jenko are put out of their comfort zones. Schmidt in drama and track; while Jenko is in AP chemistry and band. They found out a supplier and are asked to take HFS to prove to the supplier, Eric ( an eco friendly popular kid played by Dave Franco) that they aren't cops. Naturally, they have to go through school while high on this drug. Hilarity ensues.
Unfortunately, they aren't moving fast enough. The Captain of Jump Street (played by Ice Cube), warns them the drug needs to be contained before it spreads. However, Schmidt, seems to become friendly with the popular kids, while Jenko becomes closer with the nerds. They decide to get in Eric's (Dave Franco) good graces, so that they can mingle with the other dealers and meet the supplier. They throw a party, and Schmidt manages to impress Eric, while Jenko seems to annoy Eric. As Schmidt gets closer to Eric, Jenko gets pushed away. The friendship is pushed to the limits as Schmidt unknowingly calls Jenko Rain Man, while Jenko is listening to Eric's tapped phone. (It was tapped earlier by Jenko's nerd friends) Jenko, does manage to get a tip that a deal is going down, so Schmidt and him go after it. After a highway chase to outdo any movie car chase, the two get into a fight during a school play, causing them to get expelled. Eric comes by and tells the two guys, that he needs security for a meet with a gang and that the supplier will be there. They prove to Eric that they aren't cops (again), so then they get ready for prom.
Naturally, their cover is blown and this leads to a limo chase to end all limo chases as far as I'm concerned. They manage to get the bad guy and they read him his MIRANDA RIGHTS, OH MY GOSH GUYS, THEY DID IT. Once they made the arrest, they're hired back at 21 Jump Street and might be going to college?
The Good:
For the most part, it's pretty funny. Yeah, it's not for everybody, but as I said before, this is a stupid comedy. Tatum and Hill work pretty well together too. They're always on beat, making the duo funnier. I kinda like the whole, hippy eco friendly people as the popular kids at the school. It's sort of wrong in a way, but it works. And one of them is a drug dealer? Pretty amusing. The car, oh man. For those who didn't read my review of Man of Tai Chi (check it out!) I kinda have a thing about nice cars. A custom 1973 Camaro. Whew. Lovely car.
The Bad:
Way too much use of CGI guys. The car chases, the gun fights, everything is CGI and you can tell. I know this is a comedy, but it's okay to use real stuff. The famous Wilhelm scream. You know, I'm starting to think that this sound bit is becoming sort of an inside joke in movies now. That sound bit is 50 years old! Use something else!
Overall:
If you have a fine taste in things, such as myself, and are needing a break, might I suggest this movie?
As I said before, it's not for everyone, but does provide some laughs. I have yet to see the sequel, and hopefully it's as good as the first.
I give this movie 3 Miranda Rights out of 5.
21 Jump Street used to be a television show starring Johnny Depp and Peter DeLuise. However, this movie does not (well, kinda) star them. Our heroes are Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum. They're cops who aren't the best at their job, so they're sent undercover to bust a drug supplier who's making big waves. The story opens with Schmidt (Hill) a nerd in highschool, trying to ask out one of the popular girls. Greg Jenko (Tatum) teases Schmidt, embarrassing him. 7 years later, they run into each other at the police academy and become fast friends. Schmidt (the brains) helps Jenko (the brawn) and vice versa, thus both graduating police school. They become partners, naively believing being cops will make their lives more exciting. Sadly, this is not the case. They are on patrol and notice an infamous biker gang. In hopes of becoming heroes, they try to arrest said gang, but in the end fail, because Jenko did not read them their Miranda rights. (Which is not true, but hey movie rules.) Due to their lack of arrests, Schmidt and Jenko are sent to the 21 Jump Street undercover division. Their case? Go undercover as students, find the supplier of a new super drug, HFS. Also, if you get expelled from school, you get kicked out of Jump Street.
Their first day goes smoothingly. Jenko forgetting his undercover identity, thus switching the roles of the two would be cops. Schmidt and Jenko are put out of their comfort zones. Schmidt in drama and track; while Jenko is in AP chemistry and band. They found out a supplier and are asked to take HFS to prove to the supplier, Eric ( an eco friendly popular kid played by Dave Franco) that they aren't cops. Naturally, they have to go through school while high on this drug. Hilarity ensues.
 |
| Screw you science!- Censored Jenko |
 |
| I don't remember prom being like this though. |
For the most part, it's pretty funny. Yeah, it's not for everybody, but as I said before, this is a stupid comedy. Tatum and Hill work pretty well together too. They're always on beat, making the duo funnier. I kinda like the whole, hippy eco friendly people as the popular kids at the school. It's sort of wrong in a way, but it works. And one of them is a drug dealer? Pretty amusing. The car, oh man. For those who didn't read my review of Man of Tai Chi (check it out!) I kinda have a thing about nice cars. A custom 1973 Camaro. Whew. Lovely car.
The Bad:
Way too much use of CGI guys. The car chases, the gun fights, everything is CGI and you can tell. I know this is a comedy, but it's okay to use real stuff. The famous Wilhelm scream. You know, I'm starting to think that this sound bit is becoming sort of an inside joke in movies now. That sound bit is 50 years old! Use something else!
Overall:
If you have a fine taste in things, such as myself, and are needing a break, might I suggest this movie?
As I said before, it's not for everyone, but does provide some laughs. I have yet to see the sequel, and hopefully it's as good as the first.
I give this movie 3 Miranda Rights out of 5.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Justice! 2012's Dredd
Ahh, Judge Dredd. Jury, executioner, and Judge. A no nonsense guy who will stop at nothing to see justice served the best way as possible. Originally a comic book series, Judge Dredd has gained a cult following over the years. He's been mentioned in other comics, video games and recently Hollywood. In this review, I'm doing the 2012 remake of Dredd, not the 1995 Sylvester Stallone version. First of all, this movie gets right what Stallone's did wrong. This movie doesn't stroke the ego of some lame (personally, I'm not a Stallone fan) action star. It sticks (mostly) to the comic books, though it's a tad bit more serious. The comics are basically political satire, amusing to read, not easily translatable on the silver screen. Let's get to the review!
In the future, the world is a nuclear wasteland. Humanity resides in Mega Cities, stretching millions of miles, sheltered from the deadly wastelands. With so many residents, everything is in a Mega something. Mega Blocks (not the toy) Mega Highways, Mega Banks....you get the point. Though this being the future, crime still manages to cling on and ruin everyone's day. In come the Judges, peacekeepers who fight crime and are allowed to give sentences on the spot. For example, you jay walk, a Judge can give you two years in isocubes (aka prison). Enter Judge Dredd. The top Judge. The name itself brings fear to criminals and law abiding citizens alike. He's assigned to assess rookie Judge Cassandra Anderson (played by Olivia Thirlby). Anderson failed the Judge test, but the Chief Judge gives her a second chance due to the fact that Anderson's a mutant with psychic abilities. Dredd (played by Karl Urban) is skeptical, but takes Anderson out on assessment. A triple homicide is called in and the Judges go to Peach Trees apartments (a mega block). Turns out the triple homicide leads to something bigger than they thought and the plot thickens! The Ma-ma clan, run by Ma-Ma, produces a fancy new drug known as Slo-Mo and the killings were a warning to other drug lords. (Slo-mo is a narcotic that makes the brain feel like it's moving at 1%.) Dredd and Anderson raid a drug den, taking one of Ma-Ma's lieutenants in for questioning. Ma-Ma gets word of this and locks down Peach Trees using the security control room. She then announces to Peach Trees that she wants the two Judges dead and no one gets out until it happens. Dredd and Anderson now must fight for their lives in order to escape.
After a series of gunfights, punching, Gatling guns, and incendiary rounds, Anderson gets captured by her prisoner. Dredd understandably gets ticked off and goes after Ma-Ma and her gang. Now, there is a pretty cool twist involving crooked Judges and a fight between good and bad Judges. It's pretty intense. Anderson manages to free herself and meet up with Dredd. Then Dredd and Anderson fight their way to the top of Peach Tress to finish Ma-Ma once and for all.
The Good:
The special effects. This movie keeps it simple with the effects and only uses CGI when it's necessary. The scenes when the Slo-Mo drug is used seems to me that they're enhanced with CGI but, it's not cheesy. Also from what I could tell they were the only scenes with CGI. The story's decent too. The writers kept the story simple and it works. Go in, bust bad guy, stay alive, get out. Seriously, that's the plot in a nutshell. No insane plot twists, one location, and simple character roster. The people you're supposed to care about get screen time and the one's who are nameless and get taken out, well, you don't feel anything. And it works. Karl Urban as Judge Dredd. Move over Stallone, Urban's officially Dredd. He's got the iconic scowl down, the gruffy voice, Urban nails it. Olivia Thirlby does well as Anderson too. She grows as a character though the movie and you witness it. She starts out unsure and somewhat passive, then grows into a fully fledged Judge. In the beginning, when Dredd and Anderson are about to bust the drug den, Dredd comments on her not looking ready. Then, towards the end Dredd mentions that she looks ready when they're about to take out Ma-Ma. Anderson's also not some damsel in distress either. She's a badass girl who takes care of herself and that's nice to see in this day of age. There isn't a whole lot bad to say about this movie.
The Bad:
Ma-Ma. She's not given a whole lot to work with. I mean, I wouldn't want to be living in the same building as her, she's pretty evil. I just wish she was given more back story. She's pretty much a cliche bad guy. To be fair, on the DVD, there is a comic book thingy that explains how she became who she is, but eh..not a whole lot of people are going to watch that. Lena Headey, who plays Ma-Ma does well for what's she given though.
Overall:
Overall, this movie's pretty darn good. It hits the right spots, and doesn't overdo anything. As said before, this movie keeps it simple. The casting for the Judges was spot on. The effects weren't over the top and made it feel more realistic. Hopefully, there will be a sequel and hopefully, they use the same recipe as before. Keeping it simple.
Bonus Round!
Wait, what? Bonus round? I wasn't notified about this! Anyways, this bonus round goes to the Lawgiver! That's the gun Judges use to dispense baddies and do other crime fighting stuff. The movie made the Lawgiver look utra realistic and something that might be used in the future. Look at this thing:
That's awesome. Where can I get one?
Score:
4.5 lawgivers out of 5.
 | ||||
| Easy there, I'm on your side! |
The special effects. This movie keeps it simple with the effects and only uses CGI when it's necessary. The scenes when the Slo-Mo drug is used seems to me that they're enhanced with CGI but, it's not cheesy. Also from what I could tell they were the only scenes with CGI. The story's decent too. The writers kept the story simple and it works. Go in, bust bad guy, stay alive, get out. Seriously, that's the plot in a nutshell. No insane plot twists, one location, and simple character roster. The people you're supposed to care about get screen time and the one's who are nameless and get taken out, well, you don't feel anything. And it works. Karl Urban as Judge Dredd. Move over Stallone, Urban's officially Dredd. He's got the iconic scowl down, the gruffy voice, Urban nails it. Olivia Thirlby does well as Anderson too. She grows as a character though the movie and you witness it. She starts out unsure and somewhat passive, then grows into a fully fledged Judge. In the beginning, when Dredd and Anderson are about to bust the drug den, Dredd comments on her not looking ready. Then, towards the end Dredd mentions that she looks ready when they're about to take out Ma-Ma. Anderson's also not some damsel in distress either. She's a badass girl who takes care of herself and that's nice to see in this day of age. There isn't a whole lot bad to say about this movie.
The Bad:
Ma-Ma. She's not given a whole lot to work with. I mean, I wouldn't want to be living in the same building as her, she's pretty evil. I just wish she was given more back story. She's pretty much a cliche bad guy. To be fair, on the DVD, there is a comic book thingy that explains how she became who she is, but eh..not a whole lot of people are going to watch that. Lena Headey, who plays Ma-Ma does well for what's she given though.
Overall:
Overall, this movie's pretty darn good. It hits the right spots, and doesn't overdo anything. As said before, this movie keeps it simple. The casting for the Judges was spot on. The effects weren't over the top and made it feel more realistic. Hopefully, there will be a sequel and hopefully, they use the same recipe as before. Keeping it simple.
Bonus Round!
Wait, what? Bonus round? I wasn't notified about this! Anyways, this bonus round goes to the Lawgiver! That's the gun Judges use to dispense baddies and do other crime fighting stuff. The movie made the Lawgiver look utra realistic and something that might be used in the future. Look at this thing:
Score:
4.5 lawgivers out of 5.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
X Men: Days of Future Past
Time travel. The mere mention of spiraling through time and space sends shivers down sci fi lovers and possibly some scientists necks. It's a fairly common theme, I mean look at all the different media that involves time traveling. The Time Machine, Terminator, Terminator 2, Doctor Who...the list goes on. Well, comic books also involve traveling through time, so Hollywood took one of said comic books and made it into a movie. I'm talking about X Men: Days of Future Past. Now, this particular comic book did come out in the 80s, and there were a few things different from the movie in the comics. However, the plot somewhat remains the same: Giant mutant killing robots are taking over the world and a mutant must go back in time to stop these killing machines before humans and mutants are no more. So turn on your lava lamps and get in your Cadillac, we're going into the...70s!
As mentioned before, Days of Future Past is based off a series of X Men comics in the 80s, but with a few things switched around. First of all, Kitty Pryde (the girl who can run through solid objects) is sent back into the past. In the movie, Wolverine (played by Hugh Jackman) is the lucky guinea pig. The story is this: Sentinels, mutant killing robots, enslave anyone who is either a mutant, human helping mutants, or a potential genetic candidate to have a mutant offspring. Thankfully, John Connor- I mean, the X Men, start up a resistance to put an end to this. Problem is, the Sentinels have a cheat code; they can use mutant powers to fight mutants. This puts the X Men at a disadvantage, obviously. However, Kitty (played by Ellen Page) has a new, unexplained power, and can send people's consciousnesses back through time. Kitty uses said unexplained power and warns Professor X and some other X Men about the Sentinels, so they can come up with a plan. The plan is this: Send someone back through time and stop Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) from speeding up the Sentinel Program and possibly murdering a scientist, Bolivar Trask. Wolverine is the best candidate and he is sent back into the 70s.
Wolverine must get Prof. X and Magneto to work with each other so they may convince Mystique that killing is kind of a bad thing to do. It won't be easy though, Prof. X has lost his powers and Magneto is well...locked up. Wolverine must convince the former to save the latter and also must give Prof. X his confidence back. There's some neat little cameos and a really cool scene or two, but the movie focuses on Magneto and Prof. X. Wolverine plays a secondary character, but when he's in the spotlight, he does a decent job. Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique does well too, but there a a few minor things that could have been left out. Micheal Fassbender and James McAvoy do show some good chemistry and I daresay they do as well as Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen together. Hugh Jackman -is- pretty much Wolverine at this point, though he didn't say "Bub." as much. The story's well writtten, however, it would have been interesting if they had followed the comics more closely. We need more well written heroines and an X Men movie with Kitty as the lead could have been different. Hollywood came up with some lame excuses as to why they couldn't have a female lead so, there's that. Then there's Quicksilver. He had the coolest scene in the movie, and he's only in it for 10 minutes. Seriously? And I have no idea how they're going to explain how Quicksilver's in his 20's and not as old as the hills in the new Avengers movie. Anyways, on to the good and bad.
The Good:
Overall, Days of Future Past is a good movie. The special effects are visually stunning, and the casting was well done. The story is interesting and at times well paced. And some of the mutants, guys. Personally, Blink is my new favorite X Man (X Men?) Why? Freaking portals. There are the classics too, Colossus...that's about it. The casting for the most part is well done. Everyone does a decent job and there are some convincing moments. For example, Prof. X and Magneto have an argument about loss and Magneto nearly crushes the plane they're in from anger and how you should fight instead of giving up. That was really well done. Another is when Wolverine is trying to boost Prof. X's confidence as Prof. X's powers come back. James McAvoy does a well done performance there. The old school Sentinels are pretty badass. And Quicksilver. He stole the show.
The Bad:
Kitty's new powers. Where did they come from? How does running through solid objects give you mental powers? They never explain this is in the movie. I would have been okay with it if they'd come up with something. But no, we're just stuck with, Kitty can send people back through time, deal with it. Then there's the mutants. Man, they got screwed in this movie. Their powers are so watered down it's pathetic. We have Warhawk, a native American, who's only power is to sense where things are. That's like, seriously racist. Oh, he's good with knives, but that's not a mutant power. In the comics, the dude's 250 pounds of muscle and makes Captain America look like a wimp. Then there's Storm, the woman who's considered a Goddess in the comics, become a useless "I can shoot lightning like Thor." She dies first, (surprise, surprise). Quicksilver seriously needed more screen time. In fact, the whole plot could have been solved faster, (possibly less messier too) if he had stayed longer. And the mutants from First Class? Screw 'em they're dead. Not a one alive, except Havok. Whoop de doo, he gets 2 minutes and is never heard of again. And Marvel's favorite thing to do in movies is....trust the bad guy who was obviously evil in the first movie, but this time he's changed, only to find out he's still bad. Marvel, I'm obviously to keep giving you my money, but stop this. I already know the bad guy is still bad. Loki is still bad, Magneto is still bad, The Red Skull is still bad, stop! You can't keep doing this and acting like it's a new thing.
Overall:
X Men: Days of Future Past is a good sequel to X Men: First Class. And it's indefinitely better than that train wreck that was X Men 3: Movie that Shall never be Mentioned. And yeah, they hint at it like it's still there, but thankfully the movie erased 50 years of stupid history so it never happened. Anyways, decent movie. I'll keep watching it for the time being. If you're an X Men fan, this is a good film to watch.
Rating:
3.75 lava lamps out of 5.
As mentioned before, Days of Future Past is based off a series of X Men comics in the 80s, but with a few things switched around. First of all, Kitty Pryde (the girl who can run through solid objects) is sent back into the past. In the movie, Wolverine (played by Hugh Jackman) is the lucky guinea pig. The story is this: Sentinels, mutant killing robots, enslave anyone who is either a mutant, human helping mutants, or a potential genetic candidate to have a mutant offspring. Thankfully, John Connor- I mean, the X Men, start up a resistance to put an end to this. Problem is, the Sentinels have a cheat code; they can use mutant powers to fight mutants. This puts the X Men at a disadvantage, obviously. However, Kitty (played by Ellen Page) has a new, unexplained power, and can send people's consciousnesses back through time. Kitty uses said unexplained power and warns Professor X and some other X Men about the Sentinels, so they can come up with a plan. The plan is this: Send someone back through time and stop Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) from speeding up the Sentinel Program and possibly murdering a scientist, Bolivar Trask. Wolverine is the best candidate and he is sent back into the 70s.
Wolverine must get Prof. X and Magneto to work with each other so they may convince Mystique that killing is kind of a bad thing to do. It won't be easy though, Prof. X has lost his powers and Magneto is well...locked up. Wolverine must convince the former to save the latter and also must give Prof. X his confidence back. There's some neat little cameos and a really cool scene or two, but the movie focuses on Magneto and Prof. X. Wolverine plays a secondary character, but when he's in the spotlight, he does a decent job. Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique does well too, but there a a few minor things that could have been left out. Micheal Fassbender and James McAvoy do show some good chemistry and I daresay they do as well as Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen together. Hugh Jackman -is- pretty much Wolverine at this point, though he didn't say "Bub." as much. The story's well writtten, however, it would have been interesting if they had followed the comics more closely. We need more well written heroines and an X Men movie with Kitty as the lead could have been different. Hollywood came up with some lame excuses as to why they couldn't have a female lead so, there's that. Then there's Quicksilver. He had the coolest scene in the movie, and he's only in it for 10 minutes. Seriously? And I have no idea how they're going to explain how Quicksilver's in his 20's and not as old as the hills in the new Avengers movie. Anyways, on to the good and bad.
 | |
| Yeah, I don't trust him either, Blink. |
Overall, Days of Future Past is a good movie. The special effects are visually stunning, and the casting was well done. The story is interesting and at times well paced. And some of the mutants, guys. Personally, Blink is my new favorite X Man (X Men?) Why? Freaking portals. There are the classics too, Colossus...that's about it. The casting for the most part is well done. Everyone does a decent job and there are some convincing moments. For example, Prof. X and Magneto have an argument about loss and Magneto nearly crushes the plane they're in from anger and how you should fight instead of giving up. That was really well done. Another is when Wolverine is trying to boost Prof. X's confidence as Prof. X's powers come back. James McAvoy does a well done performance there. The old school Sentinels are pretty badass. And Quicksilver. He stole the show.
The Bad:
Kitty's new powers. Where did they come from? How does running through solid objects give you mental powers? They never explain this is in the movie. I would have been okay with it if they'd come up with something. But no, we're just stuck with, Kitty can send people back through time, deal with it. Then there's the mutants. Man, they got screwed in this movie. Their powers are so watered down it's pathetic. We have Warhawk, a native American, who's only power is to sense where things are. That's like, seriously racist. Oh, he's good with knives, but that's not a mutant power. In the comics, the dude's 250 pounds of muscle and makes Captain America look like a wimp. Then there's Storm, the woman who's considered a Goddess in the comics, become a useless "I can shoot lightning like Thor." She dies first, (surprise, surprise). Quicksilver seriously needed more screen time. In fact, the whole plot could have been solved faster, (possibly less messier too) if he had stayed longer. And the mutants from First Class? Screw 'em they're dead. Not a one alive, except Havok. Whoop de doo, he gets 2 minutes and is never heard of again. And Marvel's favorite thing to do in movies is....trust the bad guy who was obviously evil in the first movie, but this time he's changed, only to find out he's still bad. Marvel, I'm obviously to keep giving you my money, but stop this. I already know the bad guy is still bad. Loki is still bad, Magneto is still bad, The Red Skull is still bad, stop! You can't keep doing this and acting like it's a new thing.
Overall:
X Men: Days of Future Past is a good sequel to X Men: First Class. And it's indefinitely better than that train wreck that was X Men 3: Movie that Shall never be Mentioned. And yeah, they hint at it like it's still there, but thankfully the movie erased 50 years of stupid history so it never happened. Anyways, decent movie. I'll keep watching it for the time being. If you're an X Men fan, this is a good film to watch.
Rating:
3.75 lava lamps out of 5.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Rush Hour...2!
"Get on with force, don't stop til you get enough." -M. Jackson.
These wise words are sung in 2001s Rush Hour 2. The- oh yeah. Hey fellow movie watchers! It's been a long time since I reviewed a movie. There are going to be a few changes to this blog too. First of all, I'll be reviewing movies of all genres now. Now, that doesn't mean I'll stop doing kung fu flicks, just maybe less. Secondly, this blog shall henceforth be renamed The Shaolin Fist of Movie Reviews! And third, I'll be asking my loyal follower(s)? suggestions of movies that they'd like to see reviewed. So, leave a message in the comments! On to the review!
Today, I'll be reviewing the second movie in the Rush Hour movies. Why start with the second, you ask? Why not. Anyways, to the movie! Rush Hour 2 is the sequel to the first where we follow Inspector Lee and Officer Carter in their hijinks in Hong Kong. Lee and Carter are having fun, well, just roaming around Hong Kong doing Lee's police work. The U.S. Embassy in HK is attacked and Lee is called to the case. Carter, who's on vacation, reluctantly joins Lee in the case and they have to stop the Chinese Triad from importing....something. They join forces with a double agent, Isabella Molina to stop the Triad's evil scheme. Fists and feet of fury fly through out the flick! And there's Las Vegas too, so that's cool.
So that's the gist of it. Let's get on to the good and the bad parts of the movie.
The Good:
Personally, I like this movie a tad bit more than the first one. There's more action, jokes and more scenery. Chris Tucker does a good job reprising his role as James Carter, as well does Jackie Chan as Lee. The story's not too bad either, though this being a comedy, you can't take it too seriously. The action scenes are pretty well done and you feel pumped when Carter and Lee do their super high five thingy. Isabella's a nice touch to the story as well. She's not a useless female character that the males have to keep saving. She has her useful moments and keeps the boys alive when it's needed.
The Bad:
The bad guys. Bleah. Seriously, does every action movie bad guy have to be so cliche? "I want more money." "I want to sell drugs." "I want to steal diamonds and sell drugs." My goodness, I just want a bad guy in a kung fu movie I can get behind when their motives are more realistic. Or better written. Not to say that Ricky Tan is badly written, it's just that he's so cliche. And the double agent thing. You know, can we trust the agent or are they actually a bad guy too? Every time it's the same. The agent is protecting the others and trying not to blow their cover at the same time. And there's Carter. While Chris Tucker is slightly funny, Carter is a bit too sex maniac at times. It gets old when he's hitting on everything in sight, including walls. Then there's the slightly racist jokes. Sure, it's funny maybe once or twice, but telling the same joke over and over loses it's panache.
Over all:
Rush Hour 2 is a fun movie to watch when there's nothing better to watch. It's still somewhat amusing after all these years. (Man, I can't believe this movie's 14 years old.) Chan and Tucker perform well, and I daresay that this is one of the few sequels better than the first movie. So, if you're in a mood for kung fu and comedy, pop in Rush Hour 2. You might enjoy it.
Rating:
3.5 Micheal Jackson songs out of 5.
These wise words are sung in 2001s Rush Hour 2. The- oh yeah. Hey fellow movie watchers! It's been a long time since I reviewed a movie. There are going to be a few changes to this blog too. First of all, I'll be reviewing movies of all genres now. Now, that doesn't mean I'll stop doing kung fu flicks, just maybe less. Secondly, this blog shall henceforth be renamed The Shaolin Fist of Movie Reviews! And third, I'll be asking my loyal follower(s)? suggestions of movies that they'd like to see reviewed. So, leave a message in the comments! On to the review!
Today, I'll be reviewing the second movie in the Rush Hour movies. Why start with the second, you ask? Why not. Anyways, to the movie! Rush Hour 2 is the sequel to the first where we follow Inspector Lee and Officer Carter in their hijinks in Hong Kong. Lee and Carter are having fun, well, just roaming around Hong Kong doing Lee's police work. The U.S. Embassy in HK is attacked and Lee is called to the case. Carter, who's on vacation, reluctantly joins Lee in the case and they have to stop the Chinese Triad from importing....something. They join forces with a double agent, Isabella Molina to stop the Triad's evil scheme. Fists and feet of fury fly through out the flick! And there's Las Vegas too, so that's cool.
 |
| Not pictured: Las Vegas. |
Personally, I like this movie a tad bit more than the first one. There's more action, jokes and more scenery. Chris Tucker does a good job reprising his role as James Carter, as well does Jackie Chan as Lee. The story's not too bad either, though this being a comedy, you can't take it too seriously. The action scenes are pretty well done and you feel pumped when Carter and Lee do their super high five thingy. Isabella's a nice touch to the story as well. She's not a useless female character that the males have to keep saving. She has her useful moments and keeps the boys alive when it's needed.
The Bad:
The bad guys. Bleah. Seriously, does every action movie bad guy have to be so cliche? "I want more money." "I want to sell drugs." "I want to steal diamonds and sell drugs." My goodness, I just want a bad guy in a kung fu movie I can get behind when their motives are more realistic. Or better written. Not to say that Ricky Tan is badly written, it's just that he's so cliche. And the double agent thing. You know, can we trust the agent or are they actually a bad guy too? Every time it's the same. The agent is protecting the others and trying not to blow their cover at the same time. And there's Carter. While Chris Tucker is slightly funny, Carter is a bit too sex maniac at times. It gets old when he's hitting on everything in sight, including walls. Then there's the slightly racist jokes. Sure, it's funny maybe once or twice, but telling the same joke over and over loses it's panache.
Over all:
Rush Hour 2 is a fun movie to watch when there's nothing better to watch. It's still somewhat amusing after all these years. (Man, I can't believe this movie's 14 years old.) Chan and Tucker perform well, and I daresay that this is one of the few sequels better than the first movie. So, if you're in a mood for kung fu and comedy, pop in Rush Hour 2. You might enjoy it.
Rating:
3.5 Micheal Jackson songs out of 5.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Super Cop: The Cop that Can't be Stopped!
Howdy all! I know it's been awhile since my last post, but I've finally had some free time to sit down and watch a movie for you all! Today, I'll be reviewing Super Cop. If there's one thing Jackie Chan likes doing, it's doing cop movies with action. Let's get to the review!
Super Cop!
This is the third Police Story movie, but I guess Jackie Chan wanted even more ridiculous plots and stories going on in this movie. It's good, and the action's intense as usual, but unfortunately, this movie does have its flaws.
The Plot:
Kevin Chan or Ka-Kui (in the Cantonese version) is volunteered to join the Interpol in stopping a crime boss/ drug lord. He's sent undercover to gain the trust of Panther, said crime boss, and stop whatever Panther and his older brother are planning. His partner, Jessica Yang (played by Michelle Yeoh) joins Kevin and helps him on his mission. However, their cover is blown and the game plan has changed. Will Chan and Yang make it out alive, or will they fail? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z!!! Kidding.
Since there are two martial artists....Michelle Yeoh.
The Good:
The action. Obviously. Jackie Chan movies always impress with the stunts and action sequences. Even Michelle Yeoh delivers quite a punch with her screen time. And, since it's a Police Story movie, there are parts that are quite humorous. The scene above for example, when Jessica tosses the chop sticks, then Kevin does the same except, he yells, "Die!" while pointlessly throwing the chop sticks. The story's not too bad, it's got some good dialogue and some parts of said story give you an adrenaline rush. The end action scene is pretty wicked awesome too. It involves a train, a helicopter and a motorcycle. You'll have to see the movie for more details though. Oh, and Jessica Yang. She's strong, useful and very independent. Heck, most of her ideas actually help out the mission more than Kevin's do. Jessica Yang is awesome and props to Michelle Yeoh.
The Bad:
Now, this isn't for all of the movie, but Kevin (who has a girlfriend as stated in this movie and the last two Police Stories) is a bit of a chauvinistic jerk. When Kevin first meets Jessica, he starts hitting on her! What the hell? Dude, you have a girlfriend! I know Jessica is pretty, but sheesh. Thankfully, Jessica doesn't fall for this and treats him like a kid. The drug plot (again). I swear, every time I watch a 90's movie with Jackie Chan in it, there's always drugs involved or some mustache twirling villain with a stereotypical evil occupation. Don't get me wrong, but come up with some new material man! Kevin's girlfriend. Oh, look, May is back and she's being silly again! I've already said my thoughts on May in Police Story, and I'll say them again. May is immature, stupid and surprise, surprise, ruining whatever job Kevin is on. Spoiler: She does something to ruin this job.
Conclusion:
With that being said, Supercop is a decent film. Sure, there are flaws, but the movie makes up for that with action and cool stunts. Jackie Chan and Michelle Yeoh work off of each other really well, and it's always nice to see a girl who can kick ass and take names. I'd recommend this movie to anyone who likes the Police Story movies and Jackie Chan. Fun for the whole family!
4 flying chopsticks out of 5.
Super Cop!
This is the third Police Story movie, but I guess Jackie Chan wanted even more ridiculous plots and stories going on in this movie. It's good, and the action's intense as usual, but unfortunately, this movie does have its flaws.
Kevin Chan or Ka-Kui (in the Cantonese version) is volunteered to join the Interpol in stopping a crime boss/ drug lord. He's sent undercover to gain the trust of Panther, said crime boss, and stop whatever Panther and his older brother are planning. His partner, Jessica Yang (played by Michelle Yeoh) joins Kevin and helps him on his mission. However, their cover is blown and the game plan has changed. Will Chan and Yang make it out alive, or will they fail? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z!!! Kidding.
The Good:
The action. Obviously. Jackie Chan movies always impress with the stunts and action sequences. Even Michelle Yeoh delivers quite a punch with her screen time. And, since it's a Police Story movie, there are parts that are quite humorous. The scene above for example, when Jessica tosses the chop sticks, then Kevin does the same except, he yells, "Die!" while pointlessly throwing the chop sticks. The story's not too bad, it's got some good dialogue and some parts of said story give you an adrenaline rush. The end action scene is pretty wicked awesome too. It involves a train, a helicopter and a motorcycle. You'll have to see the movie for more details though. Oh, and Jessica Yang. She's strong, useful and very independent. Heck, most of her ideas actually help out the mission more than Kevin's do. Jessica Yang is awesome and props to Michelle Yeoh.
The Bad:
Now, this isn't for all of the movie, but Kevin (who has a girlfriend as stated in this movie and the last two Police Stories) is a bit of a chauvinistic jerk. When Kevin first meets Jessica, he starts hitting on her! What the hell? Dude, you have a girlfriend! I know Jessica is pretty, but sheesh. Thankfully, Jessica doesn't fall for this and treats him like a kid. The drug plot (again). I swear, every time I watch a 90's movie with Jackie Chan in it, there's always drugs involved or some mustache twirling villain with a stereotypical evil occupation. Don't get me wrong, but come up with some new material man! Kevin's girlfriend. Oh, look, May is back and she's being silly again! I've already said my thoughts on May in Police Story, and I'll say them again. May is immature, stupid and surprise, surprise, ruining whatever job Kevin is on. Spoiler: She does something to ruin this job.
Conclusion:
With that being said, Supercop is a decent film. Sure, there are flaws, but the movie makes up for that with action and cool stunts. Jackie Chan and Michelle Yeoh work off of each other really well, and it's always nice to see a girl who can kick ass and take names. I'd recommend this movie to anyone who likes the Police Story movies and Jackie Chan. Fun for the whole family!
4 flying chopsticks out of 5.
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
The Forbidden Kingdom
Gambei and greetings! It's certainly been awhile since I reviewed a movie, and apologies for keeping those who read this blog waiting! I did watch a kung fu movie called The Iceman, but it was so bad I didn't want anyone to suffer as much as I did. So, I watched another one, The Forbidden Kingdom. It's more of a westerny movie, but it has kung fu, so let's take on the Jade Empire together and review!
The FORBIDDEN KINGDOM:
Despite the title, this movie has no forbidden kingdoms in it. Or, I didn't notice any. Anyways, let's check out the plot.
The Plot:
Long ago, the Monkey King (legendary figure that supposedly came up with Monkey Style) disobeyed the Jade Empire and angered the Jade Warlord. The Jade Warlord (played by Collin Chou) spars the Monkey King (Jet Li) but turns him into a statue. Before the M.K. is 100% statue, he sends his magical staff away in hopes of a hero to return it to him. In the present, Jason Tripitikas (Micheal Angarano) finds the staff and is sent back to return it to it's owner. Joined by a drunk, a monk, and a girl (sounds like a set up to a bad joke) they set off on a journey to free the Monkey King. Will this band of misfits succeed or will the Jade Emperor continue his reign of terror?
The Good:
Some of the fight scenes are pretty decent. Jet Li vs. Jackie Chan was all people could talk about before the movie even came out and that was pretty awesome. Chan and Li had never been in a movie together, so this was a pretty big deal. The overlying story is pretty decent, and some of the roles were well filled. The diversity of kung fu styles was also pretty interesting. For example, there's drunken fist, praying mantis, monkey, even a few Bruce Lee blips. It's also interesting to see a westerner's point of view on the Monkey King and how the story is told.
The Bad:
Plot holes. So many plot holes. How does a jade hair pin kill an immortal? Why doesn't the Jade Emperor come back from his 500 year meditation to put an end to the tyranny of the Jade Warlord? Why does Golden Sparrow speak in 3rd person? There are too many questions asked and not enough answers. Most of the story is told like how an adult would tell a child a bedtime story (fun fact: this was a bedtime story). It's one thing to tell it to a kid, but it's another thing to tell an audience and not answer every question that's asked. There are some parts in the movie that seem pointless and redundant. Jason spends alot of time sitting around campfires flirting with Sparrow, or Jet Li and Jackie Chan are doing things to amuse the audience. It feels like there's no sense of urgency to return the staff to the Monkey King at all. I have a feeling if that our heroes sat around long enough, the Jade Emperor would return and set things right. But seriously, 500 years? Obviously, the dude wasn't meant to rule. Giving power to your oh so obviously evil lackey is just bad leadership. Let's talk about Jason for a bit. He's a flat character. He's supposed to learn about kung fu and whatnot, but doesn't seem that he learns anything. And then there's the mystical sayings, like "A student who honors his teacher honors himself." or "Master and student walk the path together until their paths go separate ways." Look, I understand that there's supposed to wisdom in these sayings, but the movie uses them way to much.
Conclusion:
The Forbidden Kingdom is pretty decent movie. There's some decent fight scenes, and the story's not too bad. Jason is a flat character and there should have been some sort of urgency during the plot. Sparrow speaking in 3rd person gets annoying, while Li and Chan keep the movie funny and light hearted. The diversity of different styles of Kung fu is always a good thing. Just watching this movie once will impress and hopefully open doors to more kung fu movies for the beginner. Side note: Don't watch Iceman. It's bad.
3.75 wasted cups of tea out of 5.
The FORBIDDEN KINGDOM:
Despite the title, this movie has no forbidden kingdoms in it. Or, I didn't notice any. Anyways, let's check out the plot.
The Plot:
Long ago, the Monkey King (legendary figure that supposedly came up with Monkey Style) disobeyed the Jade Empire and angered the Jade Warlord. The Jade Warlord (played by Collin Chou) spars the Monkey King (Jet Li) but turns him into a statue. Before the M.K. is 100% statue, he sends his magical staff away in hopes of a hero to return it to him. In the present, Jason Tripitikas (Micheal Angarano) finds the staff and is sent back to return it to it's owner. Joined by a drunk, a monk, and a girl (sounds like a set up to a bad joke) they set off on a journey to free the Monkey King. Will this band of misfits succeed or will the Jade Emperor continue his reign of terror?
Some of the fight scenes are pretty decent. Jet Li vs. Jackie Chan was all people could talk about before the movie even came out and that was pretty awesome. Chan and Li had never been in a movie together, so this was a pretty big deal. The overlying story is pretty decent, and some of the roles were well filled. The diversity of kung fu styles was also pretty interesting. For example, there's drunken fist, praying mantis, monkey, even a few Bruce Lee blips. It's also interesting to see a westerner's point of view on the Monkey King and how the story is told.
The Bad:
Plot holes. So many plot holes. How does a jade hair pin kill an immortal? Why doesn't the Jade Emperor come back from his 500 year meditation to put an end to the tyranny of the Jade Warlord? Why does Golden Sparrow speak in 3rd person? There are too many questions asked and not enough answers. Most of the story is told like how an adult would tell a child a bedtime story (fun fact: this was a bedtime story). It's one thing to tell it to a kid, but it's another thing to tell an audience and not answer every question that's asked. There are some parts in the movie that seem pointless and redundant. Jason spends alot of time sitting around campfires flirting with Sparrow, or Jet Li and Jackie Chan are doing things to amuse the audience. It feels like there's no sense of urgency to return the staff to the Monkey King at all. I have a feeling if that our heroes sat around long enough, the Jade Emperor would return and set things right. But seriously, 500 years? Obviously, the dude wasn't meant to rule. Giving power to your oh so obviously evil lackey is just bad leadership. Let's talk about Jason for a bit. He's a flat character. He's supposed to learn about kung fu and whatnot, but doesn't seem that he learns anything. And then there's the mystical sayings, like "A student who honors his teacher honors himself." or "Master and student walk the path together until their paths go separate ways." Look, I understand that there's supposed to wisdom in these sayings, but the movie uses them way to much.
Conclusion:
The Forbidden Kingdom is pretty decent movie. There's some decent fight scenes, and the story's not too bad. Jason is a flat character and there should have been some sort of urgency during the plot. Sparrow speaking in 3rd person gets annoying, while Li and Chan keep the movie funny and light hearted. The diversity of different styles of Kung fu is always a good thing. Just watching this movie once will impress and hopefully open doors to more kung fu movies for the beginner. Side note: Don't watch Iceman. It's bad.
3.75 wasted cups of tea out of 5.
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