The Many Loves of Hercules

The Many Loves of Hercules

 Hello again movie enthusiasts! I'm back and here to stay (hopefully). I apologize for not being frequent in my posts and I hope I'll be putting up reviews more often here. I've seen lots of movies in my long hiatus and I'll put up my thoughts so you can get back to enjoying my pains or amazement.

Today, I'm going to dig into the bottom of the barrel of bad movies. The Many Loves of Hercules or as I like to call it, Hercules Likes Lifting and Loves like 2 Women. On to the review!

The Story:

An opposing kingdom kills Hercules' wife in the hopes of him starting a war with their leader, making the killer a King. However, Hercules falls in love with their Queen and goes on a quest to prove his love. During the quest, Hercules is injured by a hydra and is tricked into falling in love with the Queen of the Amazons.

Thankfully, Hercules breaks free of the curse and goes onto kill the man who killed his first wife and marry the Queen.

The Good:

Not a whole lot, really. The actor who played Hercules is pretty funny to watch at times, and I find it hilarious that his first instinct is to pick up the heaviest object on the set and use it as a weapon.

The Bad:

I guess it wouldn't be a bad movie if I didn't mention how terrible this "movie" is. The production is cheap, the dubbing is laughably bad, and the set pieces do the bare minimum. Even the hyrda Hercules fights can only move one of it's heads so the actors "attacking" it have to stand in one spot. Even the title is a lie. You'd assume, rightfully, that Hercules would have many loves, but technically falls in love with one person. He doesn't even mourn his first wife. It's bam! I love this Queen who ordered her soldiers to kill my wife. The heck?

Overall:

Like I said, there are some laughably bad moments in this movie, but I can't recommend it. If want to watch something bad, and be amused, there are tons of options.

Rating:

1 Paper Mache Hydra out of 5.

Suicide Squad

Ever since Marvel Studios started making all the money with their movies, DC Comics thought they could as well. Sadly, they started off on the wrong foot. Or, fell on their face. Either way, DC has not had a good start. Their answer to this was to make a Guardians of the Galaxy knock off in hopes they could win the critics and fans they lost. Suicide Squad was their answer. Despite it getting negative reviews, it's made box office records thanks to the fans. However, is Suicide Squad a good movie? Grab your mallet, boomerang and pistols to find out! Spoilers below, read at your own risk:

The Plot:
After the "loss" or "death" of Superman, Amanda Waller (Viola Davis) decides to create Task Force X in hopes of saving the world from an evil version of Superman. What is Task Force X? A group of the worst of the worst who are expendable and can be thrown under the bus if they ever get caught. The group consists of Dead shot (Will Smith), Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie), Captain Boomerang (Jai Courtney), Killer Croc and El Diablo. When a 4,000 witch by the name of Enchantress begins her plans for world domination, the group heads off to Midway City to stop her. However, the group is led to believe that the city is under attack of terrorists and huge circles of doom in the sky is normal. The leader and lapdog of Waller is Rick Flag (Joel Kinnaman). Flag's girlfriend also happens to be Enchantress so he's trying to save her. After Waller gets captured by Enchantress' brother, Incubus, the group must save her. After some drinks at a bar, the baddies get ready and take on Enchantress. The succeed and each prisoner gets time off their sentences and some added perks. Harley, on the other hand, gets saved by her beau, the Joker.

Normally, I'd post pictures but, with this new layout it's not as easy so use your imagination?

The Good:
Overall, this is a fun movie. There were a few chuckles and a couple of decent fight scenes. Will Smith and Margot Robbie nail their roles as Dead shot and Harley. The soundtrack is fun to listen to, but some of the song choices don't match with the tone of the movie. There's a few decent cameos from the Flash and Batman, which leave you wanting more.  Also, Viola Davis as Amanda Waller was terrifying. I'd like to see her again in another movie.

The Bad:
The plot's all over the place in this movie. Nothing really runs together smoothly and you can tell that there were reshoots. Reshoots aren't necessarily bad, but when you can tell well...The villains in this movie were boring and you didn't get a feeling of urgency. Instead, you were left wondering how much longer the movie was and wishing it'd conclude. A couple of the Suicide Squad members could have been left out and nothing would have changed. Killer Croc and Captain Boomerang were pretty much useless, and I could only understand 2 words Croc said. Now to the Joker. I didn't like him. He wasn't crazy, or mesmerizing. He was just another mob boss who was just slightly eccentric. Personally, again, the movie wouldn't have been any different if there were no Joker. Jared Leto has no special moment that makes you go, "Oh, that's a good Joker." He could have been cut out entirely. The special effects were also embarrassing. They were too video gamey and near the end the actors looked like they were on a green screen pretending. Which is always a bad thing. Also, the canon fodder (aka the nameless thugs getting killed) looked like the Putty men from Might Morphin' Power Rangers. Seriously, what's the deal with these bad guys looking like that? Apocalypse from X-Men looked like Ivan Ooze, now we get Putty men in a DC film. Sheesh. Oh and why can't a comic book movie just kill someone off and leave it at that? Spoilers, I suppose. So, near the end, Enchantress is defeated and Rick Flag is debating whether she should live or not. Enchantress says, "You don't have the balls!" And Rick kills her. But...his girlfriend is still alive because reasons. Seriously, don't say "You don't have the balls," and not follow through. It's not like that actress is going to be in another DC movie.

Overall:
Despite the all the bad, Suicide Squad shows promise of what DC's got to offer. It's not a great movie, but it's certainly not as bad as some critics said it was. It has humor and humor works. Sure, the plot could have been written better and some of the characters weren't needed. It's an average movie. And it's certainly better than Batman Vs Superman. So, go ahead and see this movie. Let DC know they're headed in the right direction.
Rating: 3.5 Purple Lamborghinis out of 5.    

Ip Man 3

Hey all and welcome to another round of movie reviews. So, awhile back, possibly when I first started this blog, I reviewed a movie called Ip Man. It's one of my favorite martial arts movies of all time. I don't think I reviewed the second one, but oh well. Recently, I got to see the last Ip Man movie, at least with Donnie Yen in it. This is Ip Man 3.

The Plot:
So, it's been several years since Ip Man and his family have moved to Hong Kong. Ip runs a kung fu school part time while taking care of his wife and youngest son. One day, he has to go to his son's school to find out his son has been fighting with another boy. Ip apologizes and watches over the other boy until the boy's father shows up. It turns out the father also is a practitioner of Wing Chun, Cheung and is an underground fighter. A mob boss played by Mike Tyson wants to own the school for reasons and sends his lackeys to take care of it. However, Ip Man shows up in time to protect the school. He and several kung fu students watch over the school until the thugs kidnap Ip's son. Ip goes to deal with the thugs and has to fight against many opponents until the Cheung shows up. They deal with the thugs and recover their sons. Ip Man is tired of being bullied and goes to Mike Tyson to talk things over. However, Mike Tyson decides to duke it out with Ip Man, if he goes 3 minutes without going down, Mike Tyson will leave Ip and the school alone. Ip Man manages to do just that and the two go their separate ways.  Meanwhile, Ip's wife Wing Sing is diagnosed with cancer and only has months to live. So, Ip Man decides to stay by his wife until she passes. However, Cheung manages to open a school and declare that Ip Man is not using authentic Wing Chun. Ip's wife sets up a match so that Ip's reputation is not ruined. Ip fights the other master and wins. Wing Sing dies and Ip Man becomes a full time Wing Chun instructor.

The Good:
The fight scenes like in the previous movies are just amazing to watch. Donnie Yen is an awesome actor and you just feel everything he has to go through in this movie. Some of the locations and set pieces are pretty neat, making the fights even more engaging to watch.

The Bad:
The writers failed to even remotely tell a decent story. The plot is all over the place and it's hard to tell who's who sometimes. Mike Tyson is a terrible bad guy and isn't very convincing. Wing Sing reverts back to her bitchy attitude in this movie and pretty much disapproves of Ip Man's decisions and so I don't feel bad for saying I'm glad she died in this movie. Cheung as a Wing Chun master is a neat idea, but they've already did this in another unrelated Ip Man movie. They also tease Bruce Lee not once, but twice in this movie and he's still not a student of Ip Man. Bruce looks like he's in his 30s and Ip Man hasn't taken him? In real life Bruce Lee was 16 and already learning Wing Chun. And yes, the fights are awesome, but like the last two movies, the writers decided that Ip Man needs to take on an insane amount of bad guys without breaking a sweat again. I get the movie is kind of going over his life, but I find it highly unrealistic that Ip Man was constantly fighting hordes of thugs all the time. Back to Mike Tyson. Lazy writing. We had Ip Man fight a racist boxer in the second movie, why do we need to see it again? And the whole point of Mike Tyson was what? He had maybe three scenes total and his goal was to get a school. The whole movie was one giant mess.

Overall:
Ip Man 3 really dropped the ball on this one. As I said, the plot's a mess, some of the characters are either pointless or forgot that they had a change of heart. Personally, this was a major let down considering the first two movies were pretty great. If you want to watch it, don't waste any money.

Rating:
2 wasted opportunities to use Bruce Lee out of 5.

Samurai Cop

Yeah, I've been slacking lately and the amount of movies I've seen over the last few months have been embarrassing. However, I'm back and I've seen a movie! Huzzah! This one's not all that well known and I probably would have never heard of it until I saw a review of it on Youtube. The movie? Samurai Cop. It was a super low budget film that's been slowly creeping it's way to a cult classic. What did I think of it? Well, put your wig on and found out below!

This movie poster is a lie.

The Plot:
Not going to lie, this one was a tough plot to figure out. Let me see if I can describe it: A Japanese gang called "The Katana" is selling drugs and offing their rival gangs. Two cops, Joe Marshall and Frank are assigned to the case and to stop it once and for all. Joe Marshall aka "Samurai Cop" has been trained in the way of the samurai and speaks amazing, if not fluent Japanese (another lie). He falls for a restaurant owner, Jennifer who happens to be friends with the leader of The Katana gang.  Joe quickly becomes enemy number one as the gang tries to kill him several times. Eventually he gets fed up and with the permission of his police captain, Joe and Frank take down the gang once and for all. The climax is an epic duel and The Katana gang is no more. Joe and Jen live happily ever after. That's what I got at least.

The Good:
Uh, pretty much all of this movie. It's so bad it's good has never been truer. The acting is horrible, the fights are hilarious to watch and the camera work is horrendous. But it's just amazing to watch. You can't take your eyes off this train wreck and you're amused at the same time. I don't even know where to begin, this movie is so hilariously bad.

The Bad:
The entire movie, but my only major complaint is there are a few gratuitous sex scenes and the get real uncomfortable real fast. As in the director got distracted and kept shooting until the "plot" needed to get going again. There's also a few scenes where the director clearly forgot to yell "cut', so the actors kind of hold their poses for a few awkward moments until there's a random cut.

Overall:
You must see this movie. It's just so bad, but it's great to watch. I know I'm repeating myself, but seriously, watch this movie.

Rating:
5 Fujiy...fujya...Yahamas out of 5. (FYI: Joe Marshall says this in the movie. For a guy who speaks fluent Japanese, he can't say Fujiyama very well.)

Blade Runner

Wow, it's been a month? Sorry I haven't been keeping the blog updated, it's been pretty hectic lately and I haven't seen a whole lot of movies. However, I revisited an cyber punk classic, Blade Runner. One of Ridley Scott's best movies and with a possible 2nd movie coming out soon, I decided that I should review this movie. Get ready to retire some replicants!

The Plot:
In the distant future of 2019, mankind has perfected artificial intelligence and made humanoid robots to do manual labor deemed too dangerous for humans. These replicants are so identical to humans, a special task force called "Blade Runners" must do a test in order to tell them apart. However, the replicants are stronger, faster and smarter than a normal human, though they only have a 4 year lifespan. In Los Angeles, 4 replicants escape from slavery and begin seeking their creator, killing anyone who gets in their way. Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) is a retired Blade Runner called back into business after a fellow Blade Runner is killed by one of the 4 replicants. He meets with Dr. Edwell Tyrell, the maker of these replicants and to test out the latest model, Rachel. Events set into motion as Roy Batty, the leader, wishes to extend his and his fellow replicants lives. Rachel meets with Deckard, distraught that she is a replicant and he attempts to comfort her but fails. Meanwhile, Roy and another model, Pris, befriend a geneticist who works for Tyrell. Batty meets with Tyrell and kills him once he finds out that his life cannot be extended. Deckard makes the connections and kills each replicant one by one until Roy is left. The two play a game of cat and mouse, with Roy having the upper hand by injuring Deckard. Deckard attempts to escape by jumping over to another building, but nearly falls. Roy saves Deckard and gives the best speech in movie history then dies. Deckard returns to his apartment and escapes with Rachel, only to be hunted by another Blade Runner.

The Good:
This is a great movie. It's part film noir, part sci fi, and part action. Harrison Ford is a great choice for the movie and plays Deckard well. Same goes for the other actors who played the replicants. You feel their pain and support Roy Batty wanting to have a longer life and understand his actions. He's an excellent villain. The sets are amazing as well, making you feel like you're in the 2019 version of Los Angeles wanting to escape the constant rain and darkness to a better place. Everything feels futuristic, yet old and used. Also, I mentioned the best speech in movie history, I can't do it justice by talking about it so, I'm going to show you it:

Skip to 1:25 if you want to get to the speech. Also, Rutger Hauer the actor, improvised this speech instead of what he was originally going to say and most the crew members were in tears when they heard this. Oh, and the ending to the director's cut is better. It's left open to interpretation, making you wonder if it's a happily ever after or not.

The Bad:
Not much, since this is such a great movie, but are some things that bother me. Why make replicants so identical to humans if there used for slave labor? Why not just make them look more robotic? Then you wouldn't need such a difficult test to tell the difference. Deckard comes off as rapey in one scene with Rachel. The set up: Rachel runs away from Tyrell and visits Deckard after she finds out she's a replicant. Deckard begins to come onto her and she rejects his advances, and tries to leave. However, Deckard forces himself onto her making her say things she doens't mean. This is supposed to be romantic? Or is this just showing us that even the good guys aren't that good? Anyways, it's hard to get behind a man who forces himself on a woman, even if she's a robot.

Overall:
Blade Runner is a great movie. The story, the characters, all of it. It's dark and gritty and it's done well. The story still holds up better than most movies that have come out today. It's definitely worth checking out. Even if you have seen it, maybe it's time to sit down and watch it again. (Side note: Watch the director's cut. It's much better and there's no silly voice over.)

Rating: 5 tears in the rain out of 5.

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

Batman and Superman. Two of the most popular comic book heroes in history. The question has been asked many times, who would win in a fight against the other? Comic books and tv shows have pitted the two, with different results. For the first time in cinema, the question is asked once again. Son of Krypton or Bat of Gotham? Here there be Spoilers, read at you own risk.

The Plot:
During the events of Man of Steel, Bruce Wayne witnesses the power of Superman first hand. Is Superman on our side or will he rule Earth with an iron fist? This question is asked by not only Bruce, but Lex Luthor and some Senators of Congress. Lex Luthor finds a weapon that could defeat Superman but his idea is shot down by Congress. Bruce Wayne has the same idea and decides to steal the weapon for himself to use against Superman. There's some other stuff as well, like the introduction to Wonder Woman and Louis Lane has some mystery to solve, but it boils down to this. Lex kidnaps Martha Kent aka Superman's mom and threatens to kill her if the Man of Steel doesn't kill Batman. Batman and Supes duke it out, only to find out Lex had something else up his sleeve and they team up with Wonder Woman. In the end, Superman is "killed" and Bruce Wayne decides to call to arms of the other meta beings on Earth with Wonder Woman's help.

The Good:
Visually speaking, this movie is pretty good. There are few decent fight scenes and action scenes. Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne/Batman was better than I hoped. The introduction to the Justice League members (Aquaman, Flash and Cyborg) was interesting, I just wish that they had done it after the story was wrapped up. Wonder Woman is good when she's teaming up with our heroes to take on Doomsday.

The Bad:
The story is a mess. It has too many things going on and hardly any resolution leaving you with more questions than answers. Why is Wonder Woman a thief and what's she doing there? How did Lex Luthor come up with idea of making Doomsday? Also, I mentioned some stuff about Louis Lane and her story arch. It's pointless, honestly. She's tracking down a bullet that supposedly Superman shot someone with except Supes doesn't need a gun. I don't what they were going with there. And the kicker: Batman straight up kills people in this movie. There's no, "Oh, they may have gotten out of that explosion." It's "Yep. Those guys are dead." Granted, they're bad guys, but that still defeats the point of Batman's moral code. If the movie had an explanation of what happened and why, I would have been okay with it. Jesse Eisneberg as Lex Luthor was a poor casting choice. He wasn't threatening and he had an annoying tick that made no sense. If he had been cool and calculating instead of annoying and weird, it would have been decent. Then there's a bunch of story this plot could have been without. It just gets confusing at times, and it needed to be more straight forward.

Overall:
This movie's a mess, but at least it looks pretty. More straightforward and less confusing. There should have been a nice wrap up leaving you content, but you had more questions at the end. Batman kills, and it's aggravating me. It's a decent movie, but it's not amazing. Honestly, don't pay the ticket price, just rent it.

Rating:
2.5 Doomsdays out of 5.

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny

16 years ago, America was introduced to Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Cheesy and silly as it was, it turned out to be a fairly big hit. It had intense action scenes, a fairly decent story, a fun movie overall. So when CTHD: SOD came out, I had to watch it and see if it was a good sequel. Let's fly to the rooftops and see!

The Plot:
16 years after the first movie, the magical Green Destiny (a sword so powerful, anyone who wields it cannot be beaten) must be protected from an evil warlord Hades Dai. Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh) travels to Peking to keep the sword safe. However, a member of Dai's cult, the West Lotus, attempts to steal it, but is captured instead. Lien assumes that Wei Fang (the West Lotus) will be rescued and more will attempt to steal Green Destiny. So, she calls for the aid of noble warriors to help her. Silent Wolf (Donnie Yen) and several other dashing warriors travel to Peking. Once there, they are attacked by West Lotus members and two warriors are killed. After the battle, Lien decides to move the sword somewhere else, but before she can do so, it is stolen by Wei Fang. However, after learning about his mother, he decides to fight Hades, and the rest of the warriors come to his aid. Silent Wolf battles Hades and wins. The rest of the surviving warriors head to Wudang to keep the sword there.

The Bad:
Yeah, I know I normally start with the good, but sadly this movie made me do this. So, we have an all Asian cast, set in an Asian background. How come they speak English? The original was in Mandarin, so how come no one speaks it? I feel like this movie is insulting my intelligence, honestly. It's like they figured, "Hey a bunch of Americans are going to see this, so make them speak American. It's not like they're going to notice the difference." Well, imaginary executive at Netflix, I noticed. Now, the quality of the movie. Some parts are visually stunning, other parts feel like it's a video game.  Around the third act the quality drops and it gets more video gamey. There's an ice skating kung fu fight...which is just as sad as it sounds. The actors don't seem very motivated in the movie at all and most seem tired or bored. The line delivery sounds robotic at times and it's hard to get invested into our heroes. As mentioned before, act 3 gets worse. The fights look silly, the backgrounds look fake, and you don't feel any tension. You just want it to be over and that's always a bad thing. And, I should mention, this movie was filmed in Middle Ear-I mean New Zealand. The same place the Lord of the Rings movies were shot. At times it even feels like a LOTR movie. Silent Wolf and others are introduced like The Fellowship "And my axe!". C'mon guys. I could go on with the problems with this movie and it'd be about 40 pages long, so let's get to the good.

The Good:
There are some decent fight scenes in this movie. There's even an interesting training scene where Lien trains Snow Vase (a minor character, you wonder why they bothered putting a story in for her) how to be a better swordswoman. It's pretty good. The music is amazing to listen to as well.

Overall:
I feel cheated, really. This movie could have been great if they hadn't followed basic movie tropes and tried harder to make the story better.  Not to mention insulting our intelligence by making native Chinese speakers speak English. Ouch guys. The use of CGI is a nice tool, but like most movies now, they used it more as a tool and it shows, especially towards the end. CTHD:SOD is a let down. I don't even recommend anyone watching this train wreck. 

Rating: 1 Hidden Dragons out of 5.

Gotham Knight

Hey all, sorry I haven't been keeping up with the blog lately. Haven't watched a whole lot of movies, so I figured I'd do that and review one for you. I'm sure I've mentioned how much of a Batman fan I am, and thankfully, there's a lot of Batman movies out there. Today, I'm reviewing Gotham Knight, which is included the hardback graphic novel of Batman: Black and White.

The Plot:
Well, there's six short films here, which is kind of the Animatrix of Batman, so I'll review each one.

Have I got a Story for You:
A group of teenagers tell a version of running into Batman while a masked villain is on the loose. Each story is wildly different and over the top, until the baddie and Batman appear for one last round.
The Good:
Not much. It's an interesting idea, but poorly done.
The Bad:
The animation is sloppy, the voice acting is boring. This short is a waste of time. Also, Batman doesn't operate during the day, which seems to be a theme in this film.

Crossfire:
Detectives Allen and Ramirez escort the previous baddie to a prison, courtesy of Batman. Allen doesn't trust Batman, while Ramirez does. On their way back, they get caught in a gang war, and Batman saves the day, making Allen rethink if Batman can be trusted.
The Good:
The animation's much better and it gives us a better perspective on what people think of Batman.
The Bad:
Sadly, the story's too rushed and the cops are dumb in this one. You don't get any character development and Batman comes off as an overpowered god.

Field Test:
Wayne Tech has a new gadget that can deflect bullets, so Bruce Wayne decides to test it out. While fighting the gangs from the last episode, ( Shouldn't they have been arrested by those detectives?) one of the bad guys gets hurt by a bullet deflected by the gadget. Batman rushes the member to the hospital and tells Lucius Fox that the gadget can't be used to take lives.
The Good:
Interesting idea for the magical gadget, but that's about it.
The Bad:
Ever wanted to see Batman as a Japanese anime? Well, now you can! And it looks stupid. The Batsuit looks more like a Hawksuit and anime Bruce Wayne is...different. The action's also edited heavily so the fights look bad.

In Darkness Dwells:
Scarecrow has kidnapped a priest and Batman must travel the sewers of Gotham to get to him. Batman fights Killer Croc and Scarecrow's deranged followers in order to save the priest.
 The Good:
Good animation, good story. The fights are better so it feels like it's coming out from a comic book. The Batsuit looks better, which is a bonus.
The Bad:
Not a whole lot, though at times the animation looks a little wonky. And I realize Batman isn't realistic, but at times, there's parts where it's pushing the limits of realism.

Working Through the Pain:
After getting injured by a thug, Batman must get to the surface before he bleeds to death. During this, he has flashbacks of training with a woman who has trained herself not to feel pain. Bruce learns her ways, but is kicked out after saving her from local bullies. The reason? The bullies would have given up sooner or later, but Bruce made it worse. Back in the present, Batman is picked up by Alfred.
 The Good:
Good animation, interesting characters and story. It's always cool to see how Bruce trained to become Batman and learning how to deal with pain is interesting. The voice acting is good too, making the characters more believable.
The Bad:
Past Bruce Wayne needs some sun. He looks like he has a disease or something.

Deadshot:
An assassin named Deadshot is hired kill Jim Gordon, but it turns out it was a ruse to get Batman assassinated instead.
The Good:
This film reminds me a lot of the Batman animated series. It's got the old timey film noir feel to it, but it has high tech gadgets too. Deadshot and Batman's costumes look pretty slick too. The fight is probably the best one in the series of movies. You feel a sense of excitement when Bats and Deadshot duke it out on top of a train.
The Bad:
Well, minor thing really, but everyone's chins are highly exaggerated in some shots. If the animators could have toned the chins down, this one would have been perfect.

Overall:
Gotham Knight is okay, honestly. It's neat to see different animation styles and their stories, but sadly not all of them were executed well. If you see this on Netflix or something, give it a watch. It'll kill time, but it's not something worth watching over and over.

Rating:
3 Hawkmen out of 5.

Deadpool

Wade Wilson, aka the Merc with the Mouth and the guy that kinda looks like Spider-Man. Deadpool is a parody of a comic book super hero and over the years he's become incredibly popular. Unfortunately, his first appearance in a movie was a horrible, horrible mess and left a bad reputation. However, Deadpool has his own movie now and has been redeemed. Suit up and grab a taxi, and don't forget your guns. This is Deadpool.

The Plot:
Wade Wilson is ex special forces turned mercenary.  He meets the love of his life, Vanessa, and everything seems great. But all good things don't last forever, Wade finds out he has terminal cancer and signs up with the Weapon X program in hopes of curing the cancer so he can spend the rest of his life with Vanessa. While being subjected to mutant testing, he is tortured by Ajax (Francis), a mutant who can't feel pain. However, Wade isn't too discouraged and teases Ajax(Francis) until Wade develops his super healing mutant powers (and fourth wall breaking powers). The powers come at a cost, turning Wade into a disfigured monster. Afraid that Vanessa won't love him because of how he looks, Deadpool becomes obsessed with finding Ajax (Francis) and get his looks back. While searching for Ajax (Francis), Deadpool teams up with couple of X-Men; Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. The two agree to help Wade only if he joins the X-Men to become a super hero. Wade agrees and they go off to find Francis, but Francis has kidnapped Vanessa, angering Wade. Deadpool fights Francis and saves Vanessa, but his looks aren't cured. Vanessa doesn't care how Wade looks and the two kiss and live happily ever after.

The Good:
Uh, pretty much everything. I was laughing from start to finish throughout the entire movie. Ryan Reynolds nails Deadpool. Everyone else does a decent job too. The banter between Deadpool and Blind Al (the old blind lady), and Negasonic Teenage Warhead is the coolest super hero name ever. Brianna Hildebrand (NSTW) is hilarious and awesome at the same time. And the easter eggs, there are plenty.  In one scene where Colossus is taking Deadpool back to the Xavier's school, and says "We are taking you to professor." Deadpool asks, "Which one? McAvoy or Stewart?" FYI: James McAvoy and Patrick Stewart have played Prof. X in the movies.

The Bad: 
Mainly Ajax (Francis). He's not a very intimidating villain. He has nothing to gain by killing Deadpool, because....Deadpool can't die. It's a losing situation. There are a few minor things that were annoying, but they're not worth mentioning because the movie does a decent job on keeping the pace going. 

Overall:
Deadpool is a great movie. Even if you're not a fan of Deadpool, it's a fun movie. There's lots of laughs and decent action scenes. The dialogue between the characters to Deadpool breaking the fourth wall will keep you entertained. If you're a fan of the Merc with the Mouth, then you're going to love this movie.

Score:
5 Chimichangas out of 5.

Attack the Block

When man first gazed upon the stars, was his first thought about aliens invading us? According to Hollywood, yes. Don't get me wrong, I like an alien invasion movie every now and then. Though nowadays, alien invasion movies are a dime a dozen and most of them have the same plot. Brave hero defeats aliens and saves the day. Attack the Block however, is a bit different. An unlikely hero defeats the aliens and saves the day. (Block?) 

The Plot:
A group of teenage street thugs encounter an alien after mugging a woman. Moses (John Boyega), the leader, kills it and takes it back to a friend's home for safekeeping.  After getting high with his friends (I never said this guy was a stand-up citizen) they discover more and more aliens keep crashing into the neighborhood. They arm up and go out to kill the aliens, but find themselves outnumbered and scared. The aliens only seem to be interested in Moses and his friends, ignoring anything else unless attacked. Moses and his friends head back to the block they live in and try to escape, but they're pursued and picked off one by one until Moses has had enough and decides to end it once and for all.

The Good:
For a low budget movie, it's actually pretty good. The dialogue is amusing, I found myself laughing at certain parts of the film. The actors do a good job too. The kids are likable at most, even though at the beginning, you find yourself hard to root for Moses. The kids grow more and more throughout the movie and you feel sad when one of them dies. The monsters are pretty wicked looking. Pitch black fur with glowing teeth is pretty terrifying and it's nice to see that it's an original look.

The Bad:
I honestly can't think of one thing that was too terrible. A minor thing though, is a gang leader is attempting to kill Moses and has the worst aim ever. I mean, Stormtroopers have better aim than this guy. For such a baddie, he's not very threatening.

Overall:
Attack the Block is a fresh breath of air into alien invasion movies. It has a character that you have to earn trust from, instead of Mr. Action Hero. The effects are pretty decent and it doesn't focus too much on the aliens, but rather the people involved.

Rating:
4 glowing alien teeth out of 5.

Lara Croft Tomb Raider

Ellen Ripley, Sarah Conner, Furiosa....these are some of the toughest fictional females in movie history. Now, you can add Lara Croft to that list. A popular video game character going to the big screen makes sense, right? Well, let's find out in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider!

The Plot:
The Illuminati (don't worry this is not a conspiracy theory movie) are searching for an artifact that grants the user to control time. For reasons unexplained, they must find it before time (haha) runs out until the next 5000 years. Lara Croft (Angeline Joline) gets thrown into the hunt by finding her father's clue and must destroy the artifact, again for unexplained reasons. Croft is sent via clue to a temple to obtain the first piece of the artifact and is forced to work with the baddie, Manfred Powell, an Illuminati member in search for the artifact as well. After Lara gains the first piece, she goes into hiding and works out a deal with Powell. He gets the piece, she lives and they can work to get the second piece where it becomes a free for all. Powell and Croft head to The City of Light in Siberia and they find the second piece. After solving a puzzle, Lara gets the artifact and has a heart to heart with her departed father, before going back in time and saving James B- I mean, Alex West (Daniel Craig). Powell and Croft fight as the City crumbles around them, again, for unexplained reasons. Lara wins and heads back to safety. The movie ends in a classic freeze frame of happiness.

The Good:
Did you enjoy that scene above? If not, well, you apparently don't like fun. This movie is full of scenes like that and it's enjoyable to watch. There's also a few nods to the video games: Lara's mansion is similar to the game's layout for one. And towards the end of the movie as Lara is making her escape, she makes an "Aha.." Like this:

  Nice little nod there.
You can tell the actors are clearly enjoying themselves in the film and it makes you enjoy it more, regardless of the plot. Also, a good thing, Daniel Craig's "American" accent. It's so bad it's good and at times you can hear his British accent.

The Bad:
Daniel Craig's "American" accent. It's bad. Like he can't decide which region of America so he throws in a hybrid of Western/ Boston. It's bizarre. The plot is all over the place. For example, in Daddy Croft's clue, he mentions that the artifact was broken into two pieces and sent to opposite ends of the earth. Clearly he was lying, because one piece apparently stayed behind in the City of Light for giggles. No explanation as to why it was still there. There's also alot of unexplained stuff going on and it gets a bit frustrating as to how certain things are going on. Again, example: In the first tomb Lara raids....Haha get it? Anyways. Lara figures out the puzzle and suddenly the statues come to life. How? There's bit a pieces like that and it gets a little frustrating. It's like the writers came up with this stuff and no one proof read the script.

Overall:
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is no where near a perfect movie. The plot flops around and lots of things don't make sense. But, it is a fun movie to watch. Angeline Joline was having a great time as Lara Croft and you see that on the screen. Sure, there are some cheesy lines and silly action sequences, but it's still fun to watch.

Rating: 4 tombs raided out of 5.

The Running Man

Ah, 80s action movies. What can't you like about them? The cheesy one liners to the over the top villains. Big guys with big guns that never run out of bullets. However, Arnold Schwarzenegger is arguably one of the best action heroes of the 80s and 90s. And his role in The Running Man is no exception. So, turn on your TV and root for the stalkers, this is The Running Man!

The Plot:
Ben Richards, a cop, is covering a food riot and is ordered to fire on unarmed civilians. However, Richards is a good man and refuses to follow his orders and is detained and wrongfully arrested for the slaying of the unarmed people. Two years later, Richards is imprisoned in a labor camp and manages to escape with two people of a resistance who wants to end the totalitarian reign and bring back freedom. Richards wants to escape and leave the U.S. He kidnaps a woman, Amber, who is living in his brother's apartment, and he tries to flee the country. Amber ruins his plan and is captured once again. This time, the host of a popular TV show, The Running Man (Roll credits!) offers to have Richards participate in the sadistic show, and his resistance friends will live. On the night of the show, it turns out Killian (the host) has lied and sends Richards and company to the game grounds. The three must survive against the stalkers, killers who have different themes. Sub Zero is a hockey player with a deadly hockey stick, Buzz Saw likes chain saws, Fireball has a flame thrower, etc. Each stalker is no match for Richards who disposes of them easily. Amber, who no believes Richards is innocent, is added to the game. After finding the resistance's hidden base, they hatch a plan to end the evil TV show and bring back freedom to everyone.

The Good:
It's an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, how can you not like it? As I mentioned before, it has everything an 80s action flick needs, cheesy one liners, over the top bad guys and guns. What more do you need? Overall, the story's not that bad, even though this trope was used and is still used a lot. There are a few laughs to be had and Arnold even says "I'll be back." It's great.

The Bad:
Yeah, there's some bad stuff, but I feel like it'd be silly, considering the fact that 80s movies weren't gold. I mean, there's the fact that Richards is basically invincible, so you never feel like he's in danger. And there's a few dumb mistakes the stalkers make, which make them come off as newbie killers, instead of seasoned pros. Other than that, yeah. Not a bad movie.

Overall:
The Running Man is a fun movie to watch. Arnold is amusing and funny, even when it's unintentional, and the story's okay. Certainly a must see if you're a Schwarzenegger fan.

4 running men out of 5 

The Hateful Eight

Quentin Tarantino is probably one of my all time favorite directors. He doesn't just make movies, he makes experiences. Which, nowadays is a pretty rare thing. So when I heard he was making a Western, how could I not be pumped up? The Hateful Eight is Tarantino's 8th movie and he filmed it using 70mm film which is a thing of the past, since everything is digital so this makes it pretty cool. So, naturally, a couple of friends and I saw the 70mm version and had a wonderful experience. It played like the movies of old, no previews, a great story, an intermission and an epic finale. So, hop on the stage coach and let's review The Hateful Eight!

The Plot:
Two bounty hunters, a criminal, and a new Sheriff hop on a stage coach to head to Red Rock, but are forced to seek shelter due an incoming blizzard at a haberdashery with four others. However, one bounty hunter believes that someone isn't who they say they are and paranoia ensues.  The bounty hunters are Major Marquis Warren (played by Samuel L. Jackson) and John "The Hangman" Ruth (played by Kurt Russel). Ruth thinks that someone is out to free his bounty Daisy Domergue (played by Jennifer Jason Leigh). The tension builds and builds until tempers flare and all hell breaks loose. Is someone in cahoots with Daisy or is John "The Hangman" just paranoid? Is everyone telling the truth, or is there a liar or liars in the midst?

The Good:
Everything, to be honest. It was pretty cool to at least feel like a moviegoer in the golden age of film. The cast is great and there are laughs to be had. Even the bloody parts are fun to watch, though it's not for the squeamish. The scenery is stunning and is almost a character itself.

The Bad:
Like I mentioned above, this movie isn't for the squeamish. There's also some shock value, but it feels like Tarantino is trying to go as far as he can with the shock value. These parts of the movie are uncomfortable at best and don't really serve a purpose to the plot. It feels tacked on at times and it can be a bit distracting from the plot.

Overall:
The Hateful Eight is an entertaining movie to say the least. The shock value feels overdone and has no point other than to make you go "ew!".  Other than that, it's fun. The cast does well, and the story is pretty fun to watch. And if you get a chance to see it on 70mm film, you definitely should.

4 stage coaches out of 5.

Star Wars 7: The Force Awakens

Well, after the long wait and all the hype from the trailers, Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens is upon us. And man, was I pretty excited for this movie and couldn't wait to see it. So, was all the hype pointless and was it garbage like the prequels? Or did J.J. Abrams bring back the Star Wars we all know and love? Grab your lightsaber and let's find out!

WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS!!
Go see the movie first! If you want to ruin the experience and keep reading, don't get mad at me.

Now, with that out of the way:

The Plot:
30 years after the defeat of the Empire, a new threat has arisen from the ashes of the enemy. The First Order. They are searching for Luke Skywalker and believe he is a threat to them. A resistance pilot has a map that leads to Luke and tries to escape, but is captured by The First Order and the dark jedi, Kylo Ren. The pilot's droid, however, has the map and escapes to safety. BB-8, the droid, runs into Rey, a salavger. She and BB-8 run into Finn, an ex stormtrooper and they fly off in the Millennium Falcon. There, they run into Han Solo and Chewbacca. Rey gets captured by Kylo Ren, who is an ex pupil of Luke Skywalker. Finn wants to save Rey and with the help of the resistance, they launch an attack on The First Order's base, Starkiller. During the attack, it is revealed that Ren is Leia and Han's son turned evil. Kylo Ren kills Han and fights Finn. Finn loses, and Rey, who is force sensitive, defeats Kylo Ren, but as the base is falling apart, she escapes with Chewbacca. Once they return, BB-8 and R2-D2 show the map where Luke is hiding. Rey flies to the planet and returns the lightsaber she found.

The Good:
J.J Abrams pulled this off. It's a mix of new and old and it works. The cast is perfect and each actor is believable. There's a lot of witty banter between characters and it makes you laugh. Yes, Chewbacca and Han Solo get a lot of screen time, but they don't steal the show from the new cast. Kylo Ren is a badass Sith with an attitude. Rey is strong and independent, but she's also relatable. Finn, is funny and heroic. It's just so good. This is how Star Wars was meant to be. There's a lot of nostalgia, but it doesn't dwell on the past too much.

The Bad:
There are some parts that come off a bit too cheesy. I also wish Luke would have said -something- and had not made the last scene awkward. And what's with these bad guys and building giant laser bases that shoot lasers? And what's with them having a weak spot? Did the First Order not learn anything from the Empire? I get that it's a call back to the original films, but it would have been nice to see something different. I'm okay with giant laser planets of doom, but make it a bit harder than "exposed weak spot".

Overall:
I'm just glad George Lucas had nothing to do with this movie. J.J Abrams pulled it off and we got something worthy of the original trilogy. It's not perfect, but it's still a wonderful movie and any Star Wars fan should see it. I hope Episode 8 is just as good.

Rating:
5 BB-8s out of 5. 

The Dark Knight Returns

Batman. The man, the legend, and I may or may not be him....Anyways, The Dark Knight Returns is an animated movie based off the comic book saga written by Frank Miller. Let's suit up and take back Gotham!

The Plot:
Set in an alternate universe, Bruce Wayne and other costumed heroes are put into "retirement" by the government. 10 years after Bruce hung up the mantle, crime in Gotham city is growing out of control and no one is doing anything to stop it. Tired of Gotham living in fear, an aging Bruce Wayne puts on his cowl and fights back. This return causes a stir in Gotham and not all are happy to see Batman return. The main threat: The Mutant Gang. At first, the leader of the gang has an advantage due to his youth, but Batman comes back and humiliates the leader, and breaks up the gang. However, this act manages to bring back horrors from the past, mainly the Joker. The Joker escapes from Arkham and begins to cause mayhem, and Batman has had enough. After defeating-ahem- somewhat killing the Joker (the Joker finished himself off) Batman has caused a stir that gets the government involved. Superman, now the president's lap dog, tries to calm Bruce down and negotiate peacefully. Bruce, has other plans, and continues to fight crime. Naturally, this leads into a face off and the playing field is set. Superman, weakened from a nuclear blast; and Batman, aging and beat up, but using a robotic suit. The two fight, and Batman comes out victorious, only to die from a heart attack. Was it a ruse or, did Bruce Wayne's legacy die?

The Good:
The animation is stunning and well drawn. I love this story too, it's one of my favorite comic books. The voice talent does their roles well and there's a lot of good lines said in this movie. This movie also manages to add scenes that the comic wasn't able to do. For example, the fight between Superman and Batman is lengthened and does the comic justice. There is a lot cut out from the comic, but the movie does manage to explain what's going on.

The Bad:
I can't think of much, honestly. There's a few parts where Peter Weller (AKA Robo-cop) doesn't sound as convincing as he should, but he does a stellar job. Other than that, this movie's pretty much close to perfection.

Overall:
The Dark Knight Returns is a great comic and a great movie. If you have the time, check it out. It's a classic and maybe the film will be too.

Rating:
4.5 kyrptonite arrows out of 5.  

The Shining

It's December! And you know what that means, right? Sitting back and enjoying a good holiday movie. Like The Shining for example. Classic holiday movie, right? This horror masterpiece was directed by Stanley Kubrick and stars Jack Nicholson, Shelly Duvall and Danny Lloyd. So come play with us forever and ever and enter the garden maze, this is The Shining!

"Heeeeerrrrreee's an awesome movie!"-Jack Torrence.

The Plot:
The Shining is about a writer who slowly becomes insane and tries to....No, that's not right. The Shining is about a family in a hotel that is haunted by ghosts and they have to...That's not right either. The Shining is about a family of writers who go insane at a hotel with ghosts. Nailed it. Anyways, this movie is about a writer and his family who stay at the Overlook Hotel and find out there's more to it than they thought. Jack Torrence, his wife and their son have to spend 5 months looking after the hotel and keep it up until the hotel is open for the season. However, as mentioned, there's more there than they bargained for. Jack, slowly succumbs to the evil at the hotel and begins to become more and more insane. Meanwhile, Wendy and Danny attempt to lead a normal life, but become threatened as Jack loses his sanity. (Accidental Joker origin story, perhaps?) Things start out normal, but the evil lurking inside the hotel eventually have Jack turn on his family and attempts to kill them. However, Wendy proves to be more resourceful than her husband and ends up besting him (by running away, of course). Jack tries to have one last attempt, but is outwitted by his son while chasing him through a maze in the freezing cold. Jack finally becomes part of the hotel, or was he always part of the hotel to begin with? Anyways, Wendy and Danny make their escape and we're left to assume how it ended for them.

The Good:
I'm not much of a horror movie person, mainly due to the fact that most "scary" movies are boring. That being said, I love The Shining. Kubrick was a master at making films and paced the movie in all the right ways. It starts off slow and normal and then the tension grows and grows until you're left with an epic finale. Jack Nicholson is brilliant and performs the role perfectly. Shelly Duvall's best acting is in the 3rd act and she's pretty good. The subtle tones of the movie are amazing too. You've got white man vs. Indians, as seen by Jack's "destruction" of the art. He tosses a ball at an Indian painting. Wendy's attire becomes more and more Native American as the movie progresses. Then there's the supernatural elements. Danny and his psychic powers. The ghost twins, room 237, and the ghosts Jack communicates with are all superb and interesting. Honestly, if any aspiring director wants to make a horror movie, they should watch this first.

The Bad:
Shelly Duvall's acting in the first two acts are meh at best. I get she's supposed to be happy go lucky and all, but most of the time, she comes off timid. Now, this could be because Kubrick was verbally abusing her and threatening her, but I don't know. Then there's some stuff that could have been left out. For example, there's one scene involving the head chef traveling to the hotel (because he's physic too and wants to save Wendy and Danny) and we see him driving through the snow. For a good five minutes at least. I get that it's snowing hard, but I've been beat over the head throughout how bad the snow storm is. It's repetitive and I dislike it when movies constantly beat me over the head with something I already know.

Overall:
The Shining is awesome. I love almost every second of it and I never get tired of watching it. It's also a good holiday movie to watch (a friend of mine's family does this and inspired me to do it as well). If you haven't seen this movie, dooo it. It's amazing.

Bonus Round:
1) They had to use a thicker door for Jack to cut through. He was a volunteer fire marshal at the time and chopped through the door to fast. They also had him cut through about 50 doors to get the scene right.

2) The scene where Wendy finds Jack's "book" was type written in at least four different languages for international release.

3) There was a happy ending originally in earlier drafts but it was removed. It had Wendy and Danny in a hospital being offered to live with the hotel's manager in California. Weird.

4) Shelly Duvall had to do the baseball bat scene 127 times before Kubrick deemed it perfect. She was so stressed she actually lost some hair.

Rating: 5 REDRUMs out of 5.

Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi

Well folks, we've reached episode six and we're so close to The Force Awakens! ROTJ is considered the silliest of the trilogy and some parts hold true to that. So, let's go to Jabba's and finish this series off!

The Plot:
Previously, Han Solo was frozen and sent to Jabba the Hutt's palace. Luke, Leia and the gang decide to go to Tatooine and save Han. Now, we see Luke's plan go into action. After some action and sweet justice, everyone splits. Han goes to the rebellion, while Luke goes back to visit Yoda. Yoda tells Luke that he must defeat Vader and the Emperor in order to become a true Jedi. Luke has his doubts and is unsure he'll be able to defeat them. Yoda, with his dying breath, tells Luke there is another Skywalker and has the force within them as well. Luke realizes it's Leia and vows to defeat Vader. Meanwhile, the rebellion is planning an attack on the Empire's newest battle station, the....Death Star. The Death Star 2.0? The Death Star Jr.? Anyways, they have learned that the Emperor himself is there, foreseeing the last stages of construction. The plan is to destroy a force field surrounding the battle station and blow it up with an attack. Han Solo volunteered to lead the attack on the shield, so Luke and Leia come along. Things go about as well as you'd think. Han manages to alert the guards, so Luke and Leia chase after them on a speeder bike. Luke and Leia then get separated, and the gang searches for Leia. On their way, they manage to meet the locals, teddy bear like creatures who want them for dinner. However, 3PO is revered as a god and with the help of Luke, frees everyone and they become part of the tribe. Luke is troubled, afraid he is endangering the mission and decides to face his father. Before he leaves, he tells Leia the truth. She understands, and they part. The next day, the attack is in progress. At first, all seems to be going well, but the tables are turned and the rebels are out gunned. Luke meets the Emperor and the sith lord attempts to lure Luke to the dark side. The Emperor also mentions that he was the one who gave the plans, tricking the rebellion into attacking a fully operational battle station. He finally pushes Luke into anger and ends up dueling Vader. Back on Endor, the rebels eventually gain the upper hand and blow up the shield generator. The rebel fleet attacks the Death Star, and Luke defeats Vader. Before he gives into his anger, he tells the Emperor he has lost and the Emperor nearly kills Luke. Vader realizes he never truly was 100% evil and kills the Emperor. Darth, dying, finally sees his son with his real eyes and dies. With that, the rebels finish off the Empire for good. Or do they? Anyways, happy ending.

The Good:
Like the previous movies, this one is fun to watch. You still love the characters, you get invested with the story (for the most part) and you witness Luke's journey to become a Jedi. You're always having fun and there's never a dull moment. And you get one of the most memorable lines in movie history (besides, "I am your father."):

Classic.

The Bad:
So, at the beginning, I mentioned that some say this movie is the sillier of the three. I'd have to agree there. If The Empire Strikes Back was the Dark Knight, this movie would be the Dark Knight Rises. Great movies, but the seriousness is lacking. For example, Han Solo, usually cool and smooth, comes off as a goof ball. I know, his character is supposed to be funny, but in this movie, the Benny Hill song should play when he's on screen. He also is super jealous of Leia and freaks out when Luke looks at her funny pretty much. When Luke tells her who she really is (and is some how totally okay with the fact she made out with her brother) she's distraught. Han tries to comfort her, but she needs some alone time and Han flips out. Dude, you had her before you were frozen in carbonite. She kisses you pretty much every time she sees you. Leia loves Han, no need to be jealous. Luke gets a tad bit annoying during the speeder bike scene. He becomes the back seat driver, and if I were Leia, I would have pushed him off.  The ewoks are kinda adorable and bad ass, but the movie focuses on them more than our heroes at times. It's a bit distracting, I like them, but the battle of Hoth didn't focus too much on the other rebels. Just saying. Now for the end. I like happy endings, but this one's too perfect. Everyone's celebrating the down fall of the Empire and I mean everyone. How did Cloud City find out? How did Coruscant find out? I don't think news travels that fast, right? Maybe a few days later at most, but the immediate down fall? I don't think so. Oh. And this abomination:

*AKA George Lucas' middle finger*

What on earth was George Lucas smoking when he decided to use the guy who -ruined- Darth Vader and put into a this movie? This is the equivalent of a giant middle finger to hardcore fans.


Overall:
ROTJ is a classic. It's a decent end to a great trilogy. It's fun, it's got great scenes and lines. Yeah, it's a bit too perfect of an ending for my taste, but I love this movie.

Rating:
4.5 speeder bikes out of 5.

Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol

Spy thrillers have been all the rage ever since James Bond made his first appearance on the silver screen. And what's not to like about them? Suave gentlemen spies, driving fast exotic cars and lovely women. Mission Impossible has been wowing audiences since it showed up on TV way back in 1966. So far, there have been five Mission Impossible movies, so let's see how well the fourth installment holds up.

 The Plot:
An IMF agent is killed while trying to extract nuclear launch codes in order to stop a man codenamed "Cobalt" from starting nuclear war. Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) is called in to do the job and stop Cobalt. He and his team (Simon Pegg and Paula Patton) are ordered by IMF to go to Russia and infiltrate the Kremlin. Their mission, to find the true identity of Cobalt and let the authorities arrest him. The mission goes well, however, someone piggy backs Ethan's team's radio frequency and alerts Russian authorities. As Ethan and his team manage to escape, the Kremlin is bombed and Ethan ends up unconscious. Ethan ends up in an hospital and escapes calling for an extraction. He is picked up by the IMF Secretary and his analyst, William Brandt (Jeremy Renner). The Secretary tells Ethan that the President of the US has shut down IMF and disavowed the agents. On the way, the Secretary mentions if Ethan were to escape, there could nothing he could do. As he explains this, he gets killed. Ethan and Brandt escape to an unmarked train car with IMF gadgets in order to stop Cobalt. It's when Cobalt's identity is revealed to be Kurt Hendriks a nuclear strategist. Ethan and his team discover that Hendriks is going to Dubai to buy the codes from the assassin who killed the first IMF agent. The team reaches Dubai and hatches a plan in order to stop Hendriks, get him and the assassin. However, the gadgets that they're using aren't high quality and must improvise the plan. During the meet, Hendriks escapes with the codes and Ethan tries to track him down in a sandstorm, only to loose him at the last second. But, Ethan has a plan and he and his team head to Mumbai, India. After some spy stuff and whatnot, Ethan corners Hendriks and the two fight. Oh, and Hendriks did launch a nuke towards the US and Ethan has to stop the nuke from hitting US soil. Ethan does eventually stop the nuke and it's mission accomplished.

The Good:
As Mission Impossible movies go, this is a pretty fun flick to watch. The stunts are jaw dropping and the action's pretty decent. It's pretty funny to see Hawkeye be in an Mission Impossible movie but, Jeremy Renner does a good job. Some of the special effects are decent, and there are some good lines.

The Bad:
Maybe it's just me, but not once did I feel tension during any of the action scenes. For example, when Ethan Hunt is climbing the world's tallest building, I never felt like there was a moment where he -might- fail. Take the scene from the first movie where Hunt is hacking into the computer room with all the security safe guards. I felt tension in that scene, and you're thinking that Hunt could fail at any moment. Ghost Protocol never keeps you on edge, even when there's a nuke hurtling towards earth. As for the nuke part, well...I assumed that the US would have, I don't know...early warning systems just in case nuclear threats were coming in? It's not like this missile flew below radar. It freaking went into the stratosphere where something could pick it up, right? Now, for Hendriks. I get that he's this genius and is evil, but I have a hard time believing that he could best a trained IMF agent in hand to hand combat. I'm sorry, but that's pushing the immersion for me (yeah, so is the nuke). I mentioned there were some decent special effects, but there were some bad ones too. When Ethan is running away from explosions, you can tell that Tom Cruise is against a green screen and you don't feel the danger. There's another scene when Ethan is chasing Hendriks out of the hotel, and the camera angle goes to a bird eye view. Ethan is sprinting towards Hendriks and Hendriks takes off like the flash. How is a sixty plus year old man outrunning Hunt? Good movie, but there's alot of moments where it's not believable.

Overall:
Ghost Protocol is a fun movie, and despite all the negative things I just said, I like it. Yeah, there are a lot of moments where you're trying not to laugh, but it has it's good moments too.

Rating:
3.5 Tom Cruises sprinting out of 5.   

Back to the Future Part 3

So, when October 15, 2015 came along, the world watched Back to the Future Part 2 to compare what came true and what didn't. I went ahead one day to see if we got hoverboards, but alas, we neanderthals still rely on wheels. Now, what most people might not know is that BTTF2 and part 3 were filmed together, just that part three came out after (obviously). Today, I'll be reviewing Back to the Future Part 3.

Yeah, they may have gone too far with this one.

The Plot:
So, Marty McFly heads back to 1955 to stop Biff from becoming an evil Donald Trump and ends setting things right in 1985. However, the time machine is struck by lighting and Doc Brown is sent back in 1885. Marty, now stuck in 1955 has to get help from none other than Doc himself. Originally planning to head to 1985, Marty discovers that 1885 Doc gets killed and decides to save him from his demise. The man who kills Doc is none other than Biff- I mean, Mad Dog Tannen (Biff's past relative). Marty heads to 1885 with the time machine and instantly runs into trouble, however, Doc saves him. Doc is angry at Marty, but once Marty explains his purpose, the two decide the best course of action is for both of them to head back to 1985. The problem is, the time machine is broken and unable to drive. Doc devises a plan that can send them back, but runs into Clara, a school teacher who nearly fell to her death. Doc and Clara fall in love at first sight, causing Doc to become torn between staying or going. Marty convinces Doc to leave, telling him what unknown changes to the future might bring and ruin history. As for Mad Dog, he still plans to kill Doc or Marty, who angered Mad Dog as well, meaning they have a deadline to meet. After resolving that conflict with manure, Doc and Marty hatch their plan to go back to the future. Using a train to push the time machine up to 88 (sure, why not?) Clara ruins everything, only sending Marty back to 1985. Doc eventually shows up in a time machine train (again, why not?) and the series ends.

The Good:
Micheal J. Fox manages to do a decent job at being Marty again. He even uses Clint Eastwood as his "cowboy" name and says some lines Clint has said before. There are some amusing scenes, such as the one above. The hover board makes an appearance again, so that's cool.

The Bad:
Unfortunately, this movie falls to pieces once Marty heads back in time. Doc is goofier than he's usually portrayed and Chris Lloyd overacts pretty much in every scene. We also see everyone's past relatives and it's creepy Marty is totally into his mom (past version). There's a bunch of scenes that remind us, yet again about the first movie and how great it was. Thankfully, Marty doesn't invent skateboarding again, because that'd be too stupid. The Tannen family at this point are just laughable villains and you can no longer take them seriously anymore. Now for Clara. I get that Doc has to have his "one" but for a school teacher, Clara's pretty dumb common sense wise. Not abandoning her wagon when her horses were spooked, messing up a perfectly good plan by tooting the train horn, the list goes on. As for other problems, when did Doc Brown learn how to drive a train? I'm pretty sure it's not like driving a car and would take some learning, but he seems to be pretty good at it. I could go on with the list of problems with this movie, but that'd end up being another post.

Overall:
Yeah, Part 2 was cheesy, but it was fun. Part 3, though? It tried to pull out all the stops, but failed miserably. There's too much silliness at times, a majority of the actors are trying too hard so it comes off as bad. The flying train time machine took the cake though. Is this movie fun? Up until the part when you head back to the Wild West, sure. After that it's, pardon the pun, a train wreck.

Rating:
1.5 Clayton Ravines out of 5.

Nerd Rant! The Stormtroopers of Star Wars!

Hey all! It's November and that's one month til the New Star Wars movie! And holy crap, it looks awesome. So, in the spirit of Star Wars, I'm going to try out something new. This is a nerd rant, where I pick a topic of film, comic, TV show, or whatever you want. Depending on how popular this gets, of course. So, lets kick off the first topic: the Stormtroopers in the Star Wars films. A big debate is why superior soldiers can't hit the broadside of a barn sometimes. Something wrong in the clone genetic code? Or did they know Luke and the gang were the heroes the whole time and wanted them to win? Let's find out.

AKA Cannon fodder.

A Brief History 

 A long time ago, the Galactic Republic was at war with the Trade Federation. However, the Trade Federation had an advantage. They had factories that could build millions of robot soldiers and could send out to do whatever they pleased. The answer to this was clone the perfect solider, Solid Sn- I mean, Jango Fett. When these clones were deemed operational, the Republic used them to fight in the Clone Wars and take down the Trade Federation. After the Clone Wars, Senator Palpatine decided to use these clones for a more sinister purpose. He would use them as foot soldiers, pilots, commanding officers, you name it. They became the face of the Empire when Palpatine rose to power. 

The many faces of the Empire.

So, the question is, why are these so called super soldiers such lousy shots? Could there be a defect in the cloning process? Or did they know deep down that the Empire was doomed? No, they were just recruits. 

Clones? We don't need clones

Now, naturally, when the Empire rose to power, not everyone was on board. Naturally, there was the Rebellion who took a stand against the Emperor and his faceless army. When you watch the Star Wars films, you only see a small fraction of what's going on during this civil war. Luke, Han and Leia do have huge roles, but there are other rebel bases and space fights going on too. Heck, I'm sure there were other systems and planets fighting against the Empire that weren't involved with the Rebellion. See that picture above? At best we see five types of troopers at once. There are some that we don't see at all. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself here. My point is, during all this fighting, clones (no matter how good they are) are dying off by rapid numbers. So, how do you keep your numbers up and impose a threat? Easy, you recruit. Whether it's by force or voluntary, you gotta keep fear up in the galaxy. Now, I hear you all saying, "But they could make more clones!" True, but during a massive galactic war, I'm willing to bet making clones takes time. And the Empire wants to make time for one thing; The Death Star. If you focus on one thing, other things tend to become less productive.  Even the trailers for the new Star Wars movie shows a black guy as a Stormtrooper, and the clones were predominantly white. 

Search Your Feelings

So, if the troopers weren't clones, but recruits it would explain a lot. Even during a mass recruitment, not everybody's going to be a expert sharpshooter on day one. That takes time and training. And yet again, I'm willing to bet that the Empire only cares about one thing: Fear. The more you fear something, the less you're going to try and take it face on. But wait! There's more proof. In a deleted scene for a New Hope, Luke runs into his friend, Biggs. Biggs is originally being recruited to be an Imperial fighter pilot, but he's planning to defect to the Rebellion. Bigg's isn't a clone either. If you want even more proof, and which a huge point most people forget while doing this debate, is Luke. Yes, when Luke and Han go to rescue Princess Leia, Luke makes a comment. "I can't see a thing out of this helmet", Luke comments before saving the Princess. So, if you can't see well, chances you can't shoot well either. Now, sure, if you're a super solider and are used to those conditions, yes, you can be accurate. But, if you're a recruit and you aren't conditioned well enough, and wearing a helmet that supposedly effects your vision, chances are, you're going to miss. A lot. 

Conclusion

So, while there were probably clones still fighting against the Rebellion, the ones our heroes encountered were slim at best. And that's why I think that most of the Stormtroopers were just every day guys participating or forced into something they weren't trained well for. I could be wrong, but maybe the new movie will explain more of it. 

Want more of this? Or was this pointless and should I never do this again? Let me know!