Kingsman: The Secret Service

Ah, the life of being a gentleman spy. Cool cars, cool gadgets, lovely women, what's not to like about this awesome job? Well, this movie doesn't have any cool cars, but makes up the difference in the other two departments. What movie am I talking about? Kingsman: The Secret Service of course. This spy thriller makes a name for it's own, doing some things different than other spy flicks. Directed by Matthew Vaughn (also directed X-Men: First Class) this movie stars: Colin Firth, Samuel L. Jackson and Micheal Cain.

Looks like my closet.

The Plot:
Galahad (played by Firth) is training some potential Kingsman agents. When one sacrifices himself for the team, Galahad feels guilty and offers to help the dead man's family in any way. 17 years later, a professor (played by Mark Hamill) is kidnapped by billionaire Richard Valentine (Jackson). This alerts the Kingsman to go into action, but Lancelot (another agent) is killed in the process. This death leads to the other Kingsman agents to pick a suitable candidate for Kingsman training. Galahad runs into Eggsy, the son of the agent who sacrificed himself. Eggsy, a lowlife who lives with his mom, shows potential to be Kingsman material and is taken off to train. During the training, it is revealed Valentine is kidnapping politicians, royalty, musicians, etc for something big. Those not kidnapped, appear to be working with him for unknown reasons. Eggsy trains hard and ends up being one of the top 3 in his class, impressing everyone. Galahad pretends to be a billionaire to get Valentine's attention to find out more info, but instead gets Valentine's attention in the wrong way. Eggsy fails his last test and is kicked out of the Kingsman. Heading back home, he almost ends up in trouble, but Galahad intervenes.  Galahad is angry, but says he'll make things right after he gets called in for a mission. The mission quite possibly has one of the best fight sequences ever, and it's jaw droppingly awesome. However, Galahad is killed in the line of duty, Eggsy goes out to finish what he started. Valentine's plan is to wipe out humanity by using a SIM card that makes people become killers. Eggsy teams up with Merlin (the Q of Kingsman) and Lancelot (the student who passed) and goes to take down Valentine.

The Good:
Surprisingly, the plot's pretty good. It's silly and knows it is, and plays well on that. There's a few times where the actors make jokes about the cheesy Bond films and the movie does the opposite of what you'd expect. The actors do their roles pretty well, too. Firth is awesome as Galahad and he's fun to watch. Taron Egerton (Eggsy) does a decent job as well, watching him as a lowlife becoming an kick butt agent is entertaining. The fight scenes are well choreographed, though totally unrealistic at times, but still fun. And the scene where I mentioned Galahad fighting....well, let's say Jurassic World's got a contender for best fight. Overall, fun movie to watch.

The Bad:
The amount of swear words. Don't get me wrong, swearing is fine and all, but too much of it makes you come off as an idiot. There are better words to complete your sentences than cussing. The part where Galahad plays a billionaire to get Valentine's attention is a sin. They're at dinner and Valentine's vast amount of money to feed his guest is...McDonald's? Seriously? If I were his guest, I'd be peeved. Dude, you're a billionaire and you serve your guests $5 Big Macs? The hell? Mark Hamill's performance. While I like Mark, his British accent could use some work. Half the time it sounded like the Joker had moved to London and was mocking the people there. It was..not the best. There's also several times during the training scenes where they trick the students to make them adapt to certain situations. Each time, it turns out to be a lie, yet none of the students figure this out. It's a bit frustrating to see these people get the wool pulled over their eyes and none manage to figure out that there was no danger in the first place. Now, the movie itself. There were times where the soundtrack sounded identical to X-Men: First Class, so I got confused and forgot which movie I was watching. Couldn't they have made the music less like X-Men? Even some of the shots and fade aways were the same! Come on! It's like the movie was telling me, "Hey! This is the same guy who directed that good X-Men movie!" Yes, congratulations Matt Vaughn, I don't care, makeyour movie somewhat different!

Overall:
Kingsman: The Secret Service is a good movie. I like that it's clever to poke fun at old spy movies and yet do something different with it. As I said before, the plot's pretty decent and the actors do their roles well. I think it could have been better if I wasn't constantly reminded about X-Men: First Class.  
Bonus Round!

Merlin. This guy is awesome. He's like Q from James Bond, if Q could fly planes and shoot guns.

Rating:
4 umbrella guns out of 5.
 

Jurassic World. We've got bigger dinos!

 So, last time I reviewed a movie, I mentioned I'd be reviewing the newest Jurassic film, Jurassic World! I watched it a second time so I'd be giving my viewers an (mostly) unbiased review of this film. Directed by Colin Trevorrow and produced by Steven Spielberg, this movie stars Chris Pratt, Bryce Howard, and Ty Simpkins.

This is the sequel Jurassic Park deserved, personally. Now, was it as good as the first movie? Eh, not really, but it certainly made an impact. Also, it should be mentioned that this movie has nothing to do with Jurassic Park 2 and 3. So, hop on the monorail, get some photos of the mosasaurus, and welcome to Jurassic World! Oh, Spoilers ahead! If you haven't seen this movie, go it see it first. Or get spoiled, but don't get mad at me. I warned you.

Please, do not feed the raptors.

The Plot:
So, Jurassic Park apparently was a success and actually opened and then got a name upgrade. Visitors from all over the world come to see the park's attractions and eat brontosaurus meat. (Kidding) Two kids, Zach and Gray Mitchell go off to see their Aunt Claire, the park's operation manager. However, Claire is too busy with pointless things and has her assistant look after the boys. Meanwhile, Owen (played by Chris Pratt) is training velociraptors, because this is a Jurassic Park movie. And raptors are essential. Claire meets Owen and asks him to check out a new dinosaur the park has made to bring in more visitors. Dubbed the Indominus Rex, it's a hybrid dinosaur, and it's super mean. Owen and Claire find that the Rex is missing but it turns out it was smarter than the people who made it. Naturally, it escapes and goes on a hunting spree, causing the park to semi shut down. Zach and Gray escape from Claire's assistant and do their own thing but they come across the Indominus Rex. Claire and Owen go look for the boys and things go from bad to worse as dinosaurs begin attacking the visitors. Everyone comes together as they hunt the Indominus Rex. Many teeth are involved in one of the best action fight scenes ever created by man, oh my god, it's so awesome. Everyone leaves and we're asked the big questions, like what happened to Dr. Henry Wu?

Maybe Dr. Wu was eaten?

The Good:
Some of the plot's pretty decent. Bad dino escapes and people hunt it. Plain and simple. Some of the special effects are pretty stunning as well. There are some scenes where you say "CGI." but it's not bad CGI. Most of the dialogue between Claire and Owen are pretty funny. Chris Pratt does an exceptional job as Owen and maybe he might be in another movie? MORE SPOILERS!!! T-Rex vs Indominus Rex. Oh my god. This is probably one of the best fight scenes in cinema history. It makes everyone's inner 5 year old scream in delight. They may have disgraced the T-rex in Jurassic Park 3, but this movie redeems the T-rex. Quite well, to be honest. There are some pretty tense scenes that run well too.

The Bad:
Forgettable characters. Zach and Gray? They're dull. There's literally no point for them to be there, except to make Claire grow as a character. That's it. Weaponizing velociraptors? I can give you a list as to why that's a stupid, horrible idea. This subplot was just stupid. InGen's "leader" even says they domesticated dogs, they can do so with raptors. Need I remind you that took generations? Not a few months and hey, nice raptor. Thankfully, he gets killed. The over the top racist owner. Now, I don't know what the Indian actor's voice actually sounds like, but his character came off as over the top. And when he dies, it's meaningless. He blows up and you're thinking, "I didn't care that he died at all." There's also a subplot with the boys where you find out the parents sent them to the park so they could get a divorce. One, worst parents ever. Two, we get one and half scenes and it's never mentioned again. So the point of that was? Character development? Because nothing happened for them. And the biggest sin of all, people getting sick of seeing REAL dinosaurs so the park has to make new ones to keep customers coming. Seriously? Zoos in that universe must last two weeks before people get sick of zebras. I'd kill just to see any kind of dinosaur for the rest of my life. Now, the Indominus Rex. She's cool, but there are problems. One, she's made albino for some reason and makes it harder to see her. Why not make her hot pink? She has no natural predators so why make her harder to see? Two, why did you have to make her a killing machine? Why couldn't you make her a herbivore? I can run the park better than most of these morons combined. Chris Pratt's character is the only one who knows what's going on and every one's like, "We made them, so shut up." He reminds me of Ellen Ripley in Alien. They're the smartest ones of the group of people that they're with. Also, anybody, and I mean anybody can waltz into the control room. Security is a joke in this film.  Even the ACU (Asset Containment Unit) is set up to be this awesome squad of dino trackers, but they don't even last 30 seconds. And they use non lethal weapons even after it's apparent the Indominus Rex isn't going down from cattle prods.

Overall:
Despite all of the sins above, Jurassic World is a good movie. Like I said, it's the sequel Jurassic Park deserved. It has it's flaws, but it makes up for that with the effects and entertaining banter. If another movie is made, do the following: Resolve your subplots. Don't do weaponize X. It comes off as lazy writing and as been done too many times before. (We know it's a bad idea already, stop it.) Make your characters memorable. Lex and Tim? They were good. Also, I totally had to wikipedia the kids for this movie because, as I said they're forgettable. I didn't care whether they made it or not. Jurassic World is like the summer block busters of the early 90s. Fun, memorable and worth watching over and over again.

Rating:
3.5 million years in the making out of 5.

Welcome to....Jurassic Park!

Hey guys! It's that time of the year where we celebrate our nation's Independence. What better movie to watch than Jurassic Park? You totally thought I was going to say Independence Day didn't you? Yeah, well, this movie's much better. Inspired by the best selling novel of the same name and written by Micheal Crichton, this movie has some similarities. Directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neill and Lara Dern, welcome to Jurassic Park.

This ride looks like it's going to be fun.

The Story: John Hammond, CEO of InGen, and billionaire, is in the process of creating a cross between an amusement park and zoo filled with dinosaurs. However, before he opens the park he invites Dr(s) Grant and Ellie Sattler(paleontologists), Ian Malcolm (a Chaos Theorist) and Donald Genaro (blood sucking lawyer) to "assess" the park. At first, everything seems to be fine.The dinosaurs are there, things seem to be well kept, the lab assistants are happy, etc. There's one problem though, Malcolm doesn't believe everything will go according to plan and chaos will ensue. Genaro, the lawyer, is ecstatic and thinks the park will be a hit. Oh and Hammond's grand kids show up too. But as you know, if something goes wrong, everything goes wrong. Dennis Nedry (Wayne Knight) shuts down the park in order to steal dinosaur embryos for InGens competition. Things go from bad to worse when the parks electric fences go down and the dinosaurs learn that they're free. Dinosaurs on the loose can only mean one thing. Chaos. People become the hunted and dinosaurs end up at the top of the food chain. It's a fight for survival and who knows what the end game might be.

The Good:
This movie is a cinematic masterpiece. This movie made CGI a possibility though, it's not always a good thing at times... These special effects are just astoundingly awesome. You feel the terror when the T-Rex tries to eat small children in a Ford. The performance from the actors is excellent, while the story keeps you on the edge of your seat. Some of the best lines are said in this movie too. "She doesn't want to eat, she wants to hunt!" "Life finds a way." And the most famous line in movie history, "Clever girl." This movie should be what movies now should strive to be. It's certainly aged well too. I mean, the CGI's not great, but the robotic dinosaurs definitely add a certain realism to the movie. Other movies like Phantom Menace for example look like garbage compared to this. And P.M. came out 6 years after Jurassic Park! This movie is an almost perfect movie and that's hard to come by nowadays.

I'm sorry I mentioned that crappy Star Wars movie, I really am.

The Bad:
Now, this is more like nitpicking, since it's really hard to find "major" problems in this film. Muldoon, for example is an expert on predatory animals and used to run safari expeditions. In the book, this guy blew off a velociraptor's  leg with a grenade launcher. In the movie, well, he gets bamfoozled by said dinosaur. I realize the raptors are smart, but you'd think with a bunch of hunting experience, Muldoon could at least trick a raptor or two. Lex, Hammond's granddaughter, is deemed a "hacker" meaning Hollywood thinks hackers are mystical beings who can use magic on computers. In one scene, when everyone is trying to get the park working again, Lex uses a computer. She doesn't "hack" anything, she just figures out the computer like a normal person would. That scene, while intense, is pointless when it comes to the "hacking" thing. Other than that, just minor things.

Overall:
Jurassic Park is cinematic perfection. It keeps the pacing nice and tidy, the characters are well written and believable, and the effects are so lovely. While the book is better, the movie does a pretty good job at keeping most of the similarities between the book and film. If you've seen Jurassic World  and liked it, I suggest you see the movie that started it all. You won't be disappointed.
4.5 velociraptors in the freezer out of 5. 

P.S. I will review Jurassic World. Eventually. I've already seen it, but I had a bad case of Fanboy-itis. I'll see it again to give you an (mostly) unbiased review.

Predator

Hey all! Sorry I haven't been posting any reviews lately. Since I've been gone for awhile, I'll post some reviews up more frequently than usual. Anyways, today, I'm going to review Predator. This is a classic 80s action movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger, so it's bound to have classic one liners and cheesy effects. So, let's dive into the review!

Plot: Arnold and his team of spec ops are called into Central America for a recuse mission. Dutch (Schwarzenegger) is briefed by Dilon (Carl Weathers) that a cabinet member crossed a border and was captured by baddies. Duke, Dilon and the team fly across the border to rescue the cabinet member, but things go from bad to worse. First, there's no cabinet member. Second, something's in the jungle killing off Dutch's team one by one. This thing is not off this earth. This thing is the PREDATOR. Will Dutch survive and escape to safety? Or will he become one of the Predator's trophies?

The Good:
C'mon. It's an 80s sci fi action movie. What's not to like? Arnold and his cheesy one liners, guns that never run out of ammo and a badass alien that kills for fun. Popcorn thriller if you ask me. It's a fun watch even though the story's pretty flimsy and the effects aren't all that great. And the fight between the Predator and Dutch is pretty epic. Jesse Ventura is fun to watch too, since he's got the biggest gun and some pretty bad one liners.

The Bad:
It pains me to do this, it really does. But it comes with the job I suppose. First of all, this "A Team" of manly men aren't the best at their jobs. There are numerous times where you're given little stories of how awesome they are, but they're pretty dumb at times. For example, Anna ( a Central American solider I'd guess you'd call her) tries to escape several times. And each time, these experienced men fall for the dumbest things. Want to hit a guy with a branch? Sure, go ahead. Want to throw leaves in someone's face? Why not? Seriously, these guys are just- so stupid sometimes. Now, for the Predator. When it comes to killing Dutch, the Predator sure takes it's sweet time. Don't get me wrong, if I were a badass killer alien and I've beaten my prey, sure. I'd toy with it some, but the Predator gives Dutch too much time to kill it.

Overall:
Predator is and always be a classic. It's fun, stupid and cheesy, but in a good way. As I said before, the story's flimsy, but that's what people liked in action movies. Right?? Right??

Score: 3.5 Plasma casters out of 5.

Jet Li's Unleashed

Hey everybody! Hope you all had a great Memorial Day! Sorry, I think I slacked off a bit, but have no fear, I am reviewing a movie! Today I'm reviewing Unleashed. This movie came out in 2005 and it stars: Jet Li, Bob Hoskins, and Morgan Freeman. Let's get to the movie!

Plot Synopsis: Danny is a human guard dog in this 2005 action movie. His "owner" Bart (Bob Hoskins) is a cruel loan shark who intimidates his payees by sicking Danny on them. Danny wears a collar that keeps him under control, but once the collar is off, there is no holding him back. After collecting money, Danny is kept in a cage unloved and alone. One day, Danny and Bart attempt to collect a loan, but the man, a jewelry store owne,r being threatened deduces that if Danny remains collared he will not be attacked. This turns out to be true, so Bart and his cronies are attacked while Danny does nothing until Bart frees himself and uncollars Danny. Angry that Danny did nothing to help him, Bart continues with his loan hunting at an antique store. Bart assigns Danny to a task: Watch the red light, go in and attack. However, Danny gets distracted by some pianos. Enter Sam. A blind piano tuner, asks Danny to help him. Danny does so and misses the light going off to help Bart out. Bart is extremely angry, but forgives Danny. After some more stuff, Danny survives a car wreck caused by the man earlier at the jewelry store. Danny runs into Sam at the antique store and Sam takes him in. After meeting Sam's step daughter, Victoria, the two musicians attempt to make Danny into a normal human being. Once things are starting to look upwards for Danny, he's kidnapped again by one of Bart's gophers. Bart tries to get Danny back into his old habits, but Danny has changed into a better person thanks to Sam and Victoria. There's also a sub plot about finding out who Danny's mom was too. Everything's solved and Danny lives a normal life.

The Good: Pretty much the majority of it. It asks the question, "Can someone turn someone else into an animal?" And goes with it. The acting's pretty decent, as are the action sequences. It's a fun flick to watch and most of the fights keep you on edge. Jet Li plays a completely different role than he usually does and he does well at it. Morgan Freeman....well, personally you can't go wrong with Morgan Freeman. Oh, and there's a pretty funny line too. "Corn is safe!" You have to watch the movie for that line.

The Bad: There's this kinda creepy-ish subplot where you think Victoria is falling for Danny, but thankfully it never happens, seeing she's 18 and he's in his 30s? I have no idea. Then there's the music obsessed musicians. Almost every conversation between Danny and Sam or Victoria has something to with music. Yes, Victoria and Sam are musicians, but not everything needs to be related to music. The mother of Danny subplot seems a bit forced at times, and while it's a neat idea, it could have been thought out better.

Don't worry, I'm not done yet. Above is a fight scene between Danny and the Man in white. Now, the man in white just shows up about 20 minutes before the movie is over. What's the deal with unnamed martial arts experts showing up randomly? Is that a thing that I don't know about? I mean the fight's cool, but there's no sense of tension if we don't know who this guy is. We know Danny's going to win, so why bother?

Overall: Unleashed is a good movie. It truly is. Jet Li is a great performer and he does well by playing Danny. Bob Hoskins and Morgan Freeman also do stellar performances. This is a fun movie and you should totally watch it.

This movie gets 4 hook kicks to the face out of 5.

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Earth, Wind, Fire and Water. Only the avatar can bend the four elements and bring harmony to the chaos. Now, before everyone starts freaking out, I'm not reviewing M. Night's "masterpiece" aka pile of crap, but instead I'll be reviewing each season. Avatar was a cartoon on Nickelodeon and it was pretty well received. The animation style is impressive and the story was well above par. Nobles sang, monks smiled and people were happy. Sadly, I was not one of those people. I was in highschool when this cartoon came out and deemed it too "childish" for me. Ironically, I was watching what the kids call anime then so joke's on me. As the years went by and I studied martial arts (hence the name of my blog) I grew to appreciate this kid's show. Recently, I purchased the first "book" and gave it a watch. Now the plot's this: Every blah blah year an avatar is born and masters the four elements; earth, water, air and fire. This avatar apparently brings peace by doing this and then the next avatar is chosen. Aang, an airbending monk is the avatar and must learn the elements before the Fire Nation does...more evil things? I'm not sure.

 

Can't say no to that face though.

Now, I'm going to review the episodes I deemed the best of the season and rate them. Don't get me wrong this is a decent show, but I can't review the whole thing in one go. Let me get you with a synopsis of the story: As said before, Aang, is the avatar. Katara and her brother Sokka find him and they learn that Aang must learn how to bend water. So, they set off to the North Pole to find a master. Hijinks ensue. Now, to the episodes I liked!!


Imprisoned: So, Aang and the gang (yeah, took me like five seconds to come up with that) see a boy practicing Earthbending. They scare him off, but they learn he lives in a village where those pesky Fire dudes are shaking down the villagers for petty cash. The boy, Haru, says that the Fire Nation forbids Earthbending and will arrest anyone who does it. However, an old man get trapped and Haru must use his bending to save him. The Fire army hears of this and arrests him. Katara feels responsible and "earth bends" to get arrested. She finds Haru and other benders on a metal rig in the ocean, and attempts to rally them. They are too discouraged, but eventually they learn they can beat the Fire army. It's a neat episode, once they learn that there is something to bend their hopes are raised and the beat the bully. Oh and George Takei makes an appearance, so this episode's awesome. Oh my... <George Takei voice>

I will be your host. And you will be my guests.

The Storm: A man notices Aang is the avatar and accuses him for not being there when it mattered. Aang runs off and we learn what really happened 100 years ago. Also, we learn why Prince Zuko (the main antagonist) is why the way he is. It's a cool origin story and we see different sides of each character. Aang normally fun and outgoing becomes closed and indifferent. Zuko, cruel and ruthless, starts out as an ambitious young man, only to speak out against his father and end up fighting him. The way this story is told is neat. It gives more humanity to the characters making them easier to relate to.

The King of Omashu: Yeah, it's somewhat out of order, but still. Aang and his friends stop by Omashu, an earthbending city to have fun. Their fun comes to an end when they cause massive damage to some cabbages, but the king decides to do something else. Aang is put through some challenges and ends up dueling the king himself, not knowing that the king is actually a powerful earth bender. In the end, the king actually knows Aang and gives him some helpful advice before he takes on the Fire Lord.

The Siege of the North 1 and 2: The avatar gang finally make it to the North pole. However, it's not what they expected. Katara, a water bender herself, cannot learn alongside with Aang because women are good for healing that's what. The Fire Navy decides to launch an attack on the Northern Water Tribe in hopes of capturing Aang. Aang must stop the Fire dudes, but he hasn't mastered water bending. Oh, Sokka falls in love with the princess of the tribe, but she can't love him back. Then she turns into the moon. Seriously. Aang defeats the Fire Navy and everyone is well.

Flying is the best.

The good:
The majority of it to be honest with you. The art is stunning. The action scenes look good. Some of the fights remind me of a Jackie Chan film, because Aang does some stuff similar to Chan's style. The characters are well written and you feel like you're alongside them and living their adventures. The stories are well thought out and aren't run of the mill. I even like the uses of Chinese martial arts. Yes, each style of bending is based off a style of kung fu. I can even name the styles. Ready? Fire: Shaolin Kung fu (crap, that must mean I'm a fire bender) Water: Tai Chi. Earth: Hung Gar. Air: Bagwa. See? Nailed it. There's even Chinese symbolism and art styles used through out the season. It's a well done series.

The bad:
Unfortunately, kung fu can't make me ignore some flaws. First off, Aang. I get that he's 12 years old and has a lot to learn, but didn't the monks he learned with leave any lessons? Aang likes to have fun, I get it. I'm cool with it. But when he's learning something new, he's too impatient or too busy goofing off. For example, when he's learning water bending at the North Pole, instead of taking it seriously, he uses his newfound powers to turn him self into a snowman. Kid, fun is good for you, but turning yourself into a snow man ain't going to save the world. Other than that, Aang is awesome. Zuko, oh Zuko. Listen to your uncle. After losing so many times, you could learn a thing or two from your uncle, who happens to be a general. Oh, and that means he has more field experience than you. Now for the princess thing. When the water princess is introduced, her father says: "She's 16 and that means she can be engaged." Did that mean like one second later, someone asked to marry her? Poor Sokka goes through hoops but she's all "Boo hoo, I can't like you because I'm marrying random citizen No. 32." Random citizen is introduced and he....I don't know what happens to him. He just kinda stopped showing up. But, don't tell me princess here can be engaged, but whoa! She's totally marrying someone now. That was dumb. Then she turns into the moon. I can't say that enough.

Overall:
Avatar: The Last Airbender is a solid cartoon. Even after all these years, I consider it a titan compared to some other cartoons that have just come out. It's original, funny and serious rolled into one. Personally, I can't wait until I watch season two. I give this cartoon (at least this season)

4.5 staff glider thingys out of 5. 

Did you like this review? Want me to review Book 2: Earth? Let me know! Other than that, I'll keep reviewing movies.   

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

Indiana Jones. Professor and archeologist. He's the guy who most archeologists dream of being. I mean, who wouldn't want to fight off bad guys and save the world from destruction? Excitement at every turn, this movie brings back the classic adventure genre. Directed by Steven Spielberg and produced by George Lucas, this movie entertains and keeps you on the edge of your seat. I'm talking about Raiders of the Lost Ark.

The Plot:
The story opens somewhere in South America, where Jones is searching for some relic. He manages to find the location of it and outwits the booby traps in order to get it. However, once he gets the relic, the place comes crashing down on him and he barely escapes. He's then captured by his rival, Belloq, who's convinced the local natives to join forces with him. Jones makes a run for it and flies off to safety. Later, while teaching archeology and basically lying to his class about how archeology is mostly book work and not expect any excitement whatsoever. His friend, Marcus Brody, a museum owner, mentions to Jones that two army specialists wish to speak with him about something. The army specialists and Jones meet, where then the specialists mention that they received a transmission from the Nazis about the Staff of Ra, an artifact that can pinpoint the location of The Ark of the Covenant. Jones agrees to help and sets off to Nepal, where he meets Marion Ravenwood, a former lover, and the owner of the headpiece of the staff. Marion tells Jones to come back, but Nazi forces arrive to get the headpiece themselves. After a gunfight, Marion joins Indiana with the headpiece. They head to Egypt, where the excavation of the Ark is located. Another friend of Indiana, Sallah (jeez, for a guy who says archeology is bookwork, not field work he sure knows a lot of people) mentions that the Nazis are digging in all the wrong places. However, Belloq is leading the dig and is closing in on the Ark's location. Jones and Sallah get the headpiece translated and use the instructions to find the location of the Ark. Indiana digs up the ark, but the Nazis and Belloq find him. They trap him and Marion (who was captured by the Nazis) in the site, but they escape. Jones chases after the Nazis who are transporting it to Germany, and he commandeers the truck and plans to send it back to the U.S. Yet again, the Nazis get the ark back, and yet again, Indiana manages to sneak aboard and try to reclaim it. The Nazis and Belloq attempt to test the Ark on an island before sending it to Germany, but the wrath of God wipes out the Nazis, because you know, Nazis are evil. Jones and Marion survive because the plot demands it. They send the Ark back, but those wiley military guys claim to be "studying" the Ark. The Ark is put in a warehouse, while Indiana and Marion get a drink.

Whew. What a plot.

The Good:
A whole lot actually. The story's pretty well done and the pacing is just right making everything work well together. The action sequences are arguably better than most action flicks made today. There's no cheesy CGI, and I like that. Harrison Ford does a wonderful job playing Indiana, he says some pretty good one liners that are memorable. For example, Jone has a phobia of snakes. When they open the entrance to the Ark's location, the floor is crawling with snakes. Jones says, "Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?" Funny stuff. You're rooting for Indiana as he tries to get the Ark out of the wrong hands. And the other characters are well done too. Marion, is a tough yet lovable girl with an attitude. She's not a damsel in distress, she's the damsel helping Indiana when needed. Sallah's hilarious. I'd love to be friends with that guy.

The Bad:
I honestly can't think of much. There's a stupid sub plot where someone attempts to kill Indiana, but naturally, the main character can't die. It's pretty pointless to be honest.

Bonus Round:
Again? Fine, fine. For those who don't know this, C3-PO and R2-D2 make an appearance in this movie. Not in person, because that would make no sense. They're actually in the room where the Ark is.

Oh dear, it seems we're doomed R2.

 Cameos are fun.

Score:
4 rolling boulders out of 5.