Double Fail Feature! The Prisoner and Mr. Nice Guy!

I'll be frank here. Unfortunately, actors do have their fair share of bad movies. Such is the case in this Double Fail feature, starring Jackie Chan. I'm fairly sure I've mentioned that I'm a Jackie Chan fan, and it pains me to watch bad movies with him in it. It's about as bad as watching Tony Jaa succumbing to cheesy green screen fight scenes and simplifying his stunts. (Oh wait. He did that. Damn.) So, let's get on with these movies.

Mr. Nice Guy: Jackie Chan is a famous TV chef living in Australia. He accidentally finds himself caught up in a news reporter's story gone bad. Basically, the reporter (played by Gabrielle Fitzpatrick) manages to get video evidence of two drug gangs and they want it. Jackie constantly fights his way through waves of gang canon fodder and gets the bad guy arrested. That's it. There is literally no story telling whatsoever. Jackie's called "Mr. Nice Guy" once in the entire movie and we see no evidence of him being a nice guy. I mean, he's not kicking puppies or anything, but he just seems like a normal guy. Diana, the reporter is...there. She does get some pretty good video evidence despite the fact she and her camera man where about two stories up in a super dark room though.

The Good:
It's a Jackie Chan movie, so there's bound to be some decent fight sequences. That's about all I can say nice about this movie.

The Bad:
Everything. The acting, the story, even the characters are just dumb. And the gangs...how in the hell do they manage to know where everyone lives? Seriously? Is looking for people that easy to do in Australia? It's just...bad. Even the last scene of the movie is disappointing. It's neat, but it's not how a Jackie Chan movie is supposed to end. Oh, and slow mo...lot's of slow mo.

Overall:
I'm going to be blunt here. Mr. Nice Guy is a bad movie. If you're a fan of this movie, more power to you, but I was disappointed through the entire thing. The only good thing I can say were the fight scenes, and even those got old. A flimsy story with action scenes trying to cover it up is just lazy or bad writing. 

2 out of 5...bad video tapes.

Jackie Chan is the Prisoner:
First off, this is the most misleading title ever. Jackie Chan at best is a secondary character in this movie. The star is actually Andy Lau. Jackie has a few appearances, but they're pretty short and pointless. The story is Lau is an undercover cop who is sent to a prisoner under the suspension something else is going on. He befriends Charlie, a convict who did...I have no idea. But Charlie is the go to guy on info. Then there's Samo Hung. He's a guy who has a family, and he keeps trying to escape to see his only son. He gets away once, then gets sent back to the slammer. Wait, this movie is starting to sound familiar. Oh jeez, this is kind of the plot to Cool Hand Luke. Cool guy? Check. Corrupt guards and warden? Check. All we need is...a girl getting wet from something and the prisoners oogling her. Check. Seriously? You ripped off the plot from Cool Hand Luke? (goes off to rant for a bit) Okay. I'm back. There are a few fight scenes, then the plot decides to steal from another movie. That's right, they're going to kill off Charlie The Longest Yard style. A light bulb bomb. Ugh...this movie is just...okay. I can do this, almost to the end. Turns out the corrupt warden "kills" certain prisoners only to bring them back to do his dirty work in hopes of having a second chance at life. Andy, Chan, and Samo do a assassination job, only to have Chan and Samo killed off. There's another guy but he's not that important. Andy arrests the corrupt warden because....get this, the warden was a drug lord who wanted his partner killed. <sigh>

The Good:
Um, no. There's nothing good about this movie.

The Bad:
Everything. The title is misleading, the story's dumb and the majority of the plot is ripped off from two other movies. I could have watched Cool Hand Luke instead of this! Except for the undercover cop part, the majority of this movie is Cool Hand Luke! As I said before, the title is misleading. Jackie Chan probably gets about 15 minutes total of screen time in this movie. Even the back of the DVD box plot is misleading! The last time I was mislead this bad, I nearly put a hole in my TV. This movie sucks. The fights are not exciting, the characters are something we've seen before, and did I mention the plot is bad?

Overall:
This movie is just one gigantic mess of disappointment. Save yourself some time and just watch Cool Hand Luke instead. It's a much better movie.

Since this movie was so bad, it's not getting a special rating. It's getting a star.
0 Stars out of 5. 

21 Jump Street

I like to think of myself as a man with fine tastes. I drink chardonnay from the early 1800s, whilst listening to Beethoven. I eat only the finest chocolates made in Italy. I drive luxury cars such as Bugatti, Ferrari, and Porsche.  Every now and then, when I'm in the mood, I like to watch stupid comedies. This is one of those movies. Now, those who like this movie, don't get offended. I do like this movie, but in all regards, it's stupid. A stupid comedy. What am I talking about? 21 Jump Street of course.

21 Jump Street used to be a television show starring Johnny Depp and Peter DeLuise. However, this movie does not (well, kinda) star them. Our heroes are Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum. They're cops who aren't the best at their job, so they're sent undercover to bust a drug supplier who's making big waves. The story opens with Schmidt (Hill) a nerd in highschool, trying to ask out one of the popular girls. Greg Jenko (Tatum) teases Schmidt, embarrassing him. 7 years later, they run into each other at the police academy and become fast friends. Schmidt (the brains) helps Jenko (the brawn) and vice versa, thus both graduating police school. They become partners, naively believing being cops will make their lives more exciting. Sadly, this is not the case. They are on patrol and notice an infamous biker gang. In hopes of becoming heroes, they try to arrest said gang, but in the end fail, because Jenko did not read them their Miranda rights. (Which is not true, but hey movie rules.) Due to their lack of arrests, Schmidt and Jenko are sent to the 21 Jump Street undercover division. Their case? Go undercover as students, find the supplier of a new super drug, HFS.  Also, if you get expelled from school, you get kicked out of Jump Street.

Their first day goes smoothingly. Jenko forgetting his undercover identity, thus switching the roles of the two would be cops. Schmidt and Jenko are put out of their comfort zones. Schmidt in drama and track; while Jenko is in AP chemistry and band. They found out a supplier and are asked to take HFS to prove to the supplier, Eric ( an eco friendly popular kid played by Dave Franco) that they aren't cops. Naturally, they have to go through school while high on this drug. Hilarity ensues.

Screw you science!- Censored Jenko

Unfortunately, they aren't moving fast enough. The Captain of Jump Street (played by Ice Cube), warns them the drug needs to be contained before it spreads. However, Schmidt, seems to become friendly with the popular kids, while Jenko becomes closer with the nerds. They decide to get in Eric's (Dave Franco) good graces, so that they can mingle with the other dealers and meet the supplier. They throw a party, and Schmidt manages to impress Eric, while Jenko seems to annoy Eric. As Schmidt gets closer to Eric, Jenko gets pushed away. The friendship is pushed to the limits as Schmidt unknowingly calls Jenko Rain Man, while Jenko is listening to Eric's tapped phone. (It was tapped earlier by Jenko's nerd friends) Jenko, does manage to get a tip that a deal is going down, so Schmidt and him go after it. After a highway chase to outdo any movie car chase, the two get into a fight during a school play, causing them to get expelled. Eric comes by and tells the two guys, that he needs security for a meet with a gang and that the supplier will be there. They prove to Eric that they aren't cops (again), so then they get ready for prom.

I don't remember prom being like this though.

Naturally, their cover is blown and this leads to a limo chase to end all limo chases as far as I'm concerned. They manage to get the bad guy and they read him his MIRANDA RIGHTS, OH MY GOSH GUYS, THEY DID IT. Once they made the arrest, they're hired back at 21 Jump Street and might be going to college?

The Good:
For the most part, it's pretty funny. Yeah, it's not for everybody, but as I said before, this is a stupid comedy. Tatum and Hill work pretty well together too. They're always on beat, making the duo funnier. I kinda like the whole, hippy eco friendly people as the popular kids at the school. It's sort of wrong in a way, but it works. And one of them is a drug dealer? Pretty amusing. The car, oh man. For those who didn't read my review of Man of Tai Chi (check it out!) I kinda have a thing about nice cars. A custom 1973 Camaro. Whew. Lovely car.

The Bad:
Way too much use of CGI guys. The car chases, the gun fights, everything is CGI and you can tell. I know this is a comedy, but it's okay to use real stuff. The famous Wilhelm scream. You know, I'm starting to think that this sound bit is becoming sort of an inside joke in movies now. That sound bit is 50 years old! Use something else!

Overall:
If you have a fine taste in things, such as myself, and are needing a break, might I suggest this movie?
As I said before, it's not for everyone, but does provide some laughs. I have yet to see the sequel, and hopefully it's as good as the first.

I give this movie 3 Miranda Rights out of 5.